lil kind life: alanis morissette responds to time magazine cover controversy
Alanis Morissette recently posted an article on The Huffington Post dedicated to the benefits of attachment parenting. Alanis, who has a toddler named Ever, wrote the piece in response to the recent Time magazine controversy. Here's an excerpt:
"I personally believe that the attachment stage, done well, can circumvent countless addictions later in life because many of these addictions are often a temporary attempt at feeling this sense of connection. If a child's needs during this stage of development are not met, he or she will be staving off a haunting sense of cellular disconnection and loneliness for a lifetime. They will not have effectively internalized a loving nurturance as their own love-style."
lil kind life: time magazine breastfeeding cover controversy
In the article, Alanis discusses how attachment parenting affects children during the different stages of the development process.
Read the entire article on The Huffington Post here.
What are your thoughts on Alanis's attachment parenting article?
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34 comments
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I have a two year old and I stopped nursing her at 11 months and even though she is older she still remembers being breastfed. In fact whenever she see's her cousin nursing with her mom, she wants in on the action. I regret weaning at that age. There are so many benefits to creating this type of bond with your children. I do think that if it makes you uncomfortable then maybe some self-evaluation is needed and maybe doing what you feel is right for you is needed. I don't think there is a method that works for everyone, as long as you are raising your children with all the love you can possibly muster and more, then I think they will be alright! But just like with anything, being pushed,coerced or influenced into any direction that does not reflect what's in your heart won't be good for your little one anyway. -
I think its awesome. I am sorry but I feel like if you don't have the time or patience to care for and nurture your baby- then don't have one! -
Oh my! It is so interesting reading comments about breastfeeding from people who either didn't breastfeed or who didn't breastfeed very long. It may be hard to understand the mechanics behind extended breastfeeding for someone who has not experienced it, but I can assure you...it all feels very normal for those who do. I nursed my first son 2 1/2 years and am still nursing my second son who is now 2 1/2 years. It works very well for us. My kids almost never get sick, I have an easy way to get my little one to sleep at night, I have an easy way to comfort him when he is really upset (he deals with minor stuff very well on his own, but being able to breastfeed him when he is really upset is awesome). They really do wean on their own. I know my time with my second son is drawing to a close. We don't do it nearly as often and at the end of the day when I am tired...after he has nursed a few minutes sometimes I just say "it's time to be done" and he just says "okay". Both of my boys are independent, creative, active, resilient little people. The time is so short in the grand scheme of things to be able to nurse your child that cutting them off early seems odd. All too soon, they won't want you to hold their hand in public or give them a kiss good-bye in front of their friends or even rock them to sleep. In 5 short years, my older son is already there. Makes me a little sad, but that's part of the process of him growing up and becoming his own person. I am just happy to watch him initiate this on his own rather than me having pushed him into it earlier than when he was ready. At one time, I thought I would only nurse until 6 months because it was all I ever knew. I didn't know anyone who nursed a toddler before. I am glad I didn't follow the herd and just do what everyone else does just because it's what's been done. I am glad I thought about my own life and my child's and made decisions based on what seemed right for us...and isn't that what we try to teach our children anyway...think for yourself!!!
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i love Alanis! She was an inspiration in Business of Being Born extended version! I had an unmedicated birth (best thing I have ever done in my life!) with my seven month old son, who I am also breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and wearing....so maybe I am bias, but everyone is so quick to make negative comments about the Time Mag cover, but no one seems to notice how big and healthy that three year boy old is! He looks more like a five year old...just sayin'...
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I am all for breast feeding my babies. I think there comes an age where it's taking it a little too far though. I think up to the age of 1 is plenty. Especially if you are able to provide regular food to them. I breastfed my first son until he was 3 months old and only stopped because of peer pressure from my husbands family. With my second child I went to 6 months and was very happy when we stopped. And proud that I went as long as I did.
I think, personally, when a child can walk and talk it's time to stop breast feeding. -
I find it interesting to even call it attachment parenting. I just call it natural or traditional maybe.
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Thanks for sharing the article, I'll admit some of it seems a bit strange still to be honest. But the parts about the self weening of the child and such really made sense. It's about being an inutuitive parent as well I think.
I'm curious as to what you think about the issue?
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Thanks for sharing the article! I was very impressed with how well Alanis expressed her views & with the research she presented to back up her point of view. I'm honestly at a loss at all the negative feedback this attachment parenting has brought about.
As an aside, I heard the woman used on the magazine cover admitted that she doesn't normally feed her child with him standing on a chair like that...she holds him as he nurses. She knew it would get attention.....that was the point, to sell magazines & spark conversation....ummmm, it worked.
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I don't know if there is a way to say this without pissing anyone off. I am sorry but I just think it's weird/gross/creepy for a toddler to be able to come up and ask to be breast fed. Something about it doesn't sit well with me. I am respectful of anyone else's choices or opinions but for me, this is not a choice I would ever make. I am thankful that I don't remember breast feeding. I just can't wrap my brain around it. I do think breast feeding is great! I love to see mothers breast feeding their BABIES but a toddler? Especially 4, 5 or 6 years old? No, I don't want to see that.
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I have 3 children. The eldest I breast fed until she was nearly 3 and only stopped because being pregnant with my second child my midwife advised that I would quickly exhaust myself feeding two babies. I would happily have continued though, as they do in France until school age.
With regards to attached parenting I have tried both approached attached and detached. With my elder two children my husband made me put our babies in separate rooms at a few weeks old. I found it traumatic and difficult leaving my babies to cry and having to trapse across a landing to feed them in the night, adding to my new mother exhaustion.
When I had my son I was a single parent, He slept in my romm, in my bed most often until he was nearly 4. He was the happiest most secure of my 3 children. He is super intelligent, not saying that my girls aren't but I think the fact that he never had to doubt someone being there for him meant he could use his brain power for thought not worry.
I parented first in my twenties and then as an older mother in my late thirties and if I have learnt anything it is go with your gut...do what feels right for your baby and you and above all smile and nod politely when challenged but carry on what is right for you and your child.
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Breastfeeding is such a personal, unique experience for every mother and child. Some kids I know have weaned themselves early and others will nurse until their 4 or 5. Most mothers are pretty tuned into what their kid needs now and will do what they can to nurture them as long as possible. You can't really get a more connected relationship than that of a mother nursing her child. It's pretty amazing.
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I flagged too. And I agree Diana, there is no way he can really be this interested in breastfeeding, he just wants attention and responses..
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Alanis led me in your direction years ago when she posted a recommendation for The Kind Life on her website. I have been a fan of hers for years and usually enjoy what she recommends... and behold, I'm now a Kind Lifer! THANK YOU BOTH :)
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Rion is just a troll. Ignore him. People like him go on forums and just post inflammatory things to get attention. They could care less about the actual topic, and instead it's just a game to see how much they can piss off the rest of the posters. Usually, though trolls are more subtle than this, rather than posting something as stupid as "breastfeeding mommies are pedos" - so obvious. I flagged him.
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oh, and Heather, he's trying to provoke you into responding I guess. What a creep.
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I breastfed my son till he turned 3. It seemed so many people had issues with it but I really didn't give a damn. they can hate all they want. breastmilk is good for a child. When my son was about to turn 2, he got very ill and for almost a week and a half, he refused food, the virus he had made his tongue and gums swell, causing him extreme discomfort, he ONLY wanted to nurse. he also had developed a stomach flu and was throwing up a ton. refusing all food and fluids, it was my BREASTMILK that kept him nourished. He lost only 1lb in almost 2 weeks. was I supposed to force feed him food? no. I gave him the only thing that he wanted and that was actually good for him and helping him.
all you anti breastfeeding people need to get a grip.
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And.... this is what RION sent to my personal message inbox.
"You are a horrid person, making personal attacks on me, saying my brain doesn't work because I wasn't feed tit-poison. You're a disgusting, vile excuse for a human being, and you should go to prison for what you did to your babies. You used your child to get off. Sickening."
Awesome guy, eh?????
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it's the same with me, but reading this and reading it's better to pump written from a small boy who knows nothing is like a beat in my face. because in know how it feels to pump for hours... not only one mom should have to do this!
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You are welcome Isabel! I don't normally like to preach about my own personal feelings/beliefs on breastfeeding, but sometimes, when I am confronted by such blatent ignorance, I just have to say something!!! :) And yes, from ear to ear translates perfectly! :)
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@kristina o.: your comment made me smile from ear to ear!(is it possible to say this in englisch? from ear to ear? in german it means just a very wide/big smile) thank you! :-D
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Wow. All I can say is wow. Rion, God help the woman who ever chooses to procreate with you, and if you are ever lucky enough to become a father, I pray that the mother of your child breastfeeds to her heart's content - and maybe, just maybe, you will be eating your words from today. And, if you think it is so "easy" to "just pump" milk, then why don't you hook your breasts up to a pump, and see how it feels? Oh that's right - you don't produce life-sustaining milk, do you??? So what gives you the right to call it "disgusting" and "nonsense"?? Nothing. You have no right. And, by the way, referring to breasts as "tits" when discussing nursing a child is just ignorant. Grow up.
"I MAKE MILK. WHAT'S YOUR SUPERPOWER?"
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I am not going to share my opinion on breastfeeding, rather on the ignoramus who is getting off on stirring the pot by saying these inane things. By responding you are all feeding the fire, thereby legitimizing this person's mal-informed opinion.
If you support the subject at hand, then by all means please show it. If your opinion is otherwise, keep it to yourself and let the rest of us be informed and educated by sharing productive discussion on the topic.
Peace & love
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I wish we could all get to the point where we accept that this is an area where personal choices can be made, all of which are acceptable and produce loved, wanted children.
I hope Rion is just a troll. Nothing about that screed makes sense otherwise.
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dear rion, i had to pump my milk for three weeks because my son was born with a heavy organic heart defect. i guess you don't know anything about breast pumps and babies.
-if you pump you don't get out half of the needed milk for your baby.
-so you spend hours with pumping.
-this means you've less time for your baby and anything else
-this means you've remorse
-and this means because of the bad feelings you get less milk from day to day.
-then you can start feeding your child with chemical baby milk or milk from animals.
-after pumping 100ml instead of breastfeeding 200ml you've to warm the milk again to the needed temperature, the temperature it has if you breast feed
do you really think there is time to do stupid things like pumping if you've kids? do you think you can tell your new born son in a men's talk to stop crying while mom is pumping and than warming the milk?
i read that you are vegan and that you feel very good with this. maybe you also should allow babies to feel good with the milk which is made for them! maybe next time just think before you write things you're not able to judge!
if breast have evolved to have a very sexual connotation. i think some very stupid men guess this. and i think it's time for them to start using their brain instead of... you know what i mean!
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"If I ever have a child, that baby will be fed properly from a bottle."
Big sigh. I just don't even know where to begin...
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