Laura, I totally agree with you on "helicopter" parenting. My daughter's godfather and his gf do it with her 3 year old. You can see the child getting so frustrated with them hovering over the top of her, she ends up throwing tantrums because they are on her ALL the time.

When I became a parent two years ago, I was criticised for everything. I wore my daughter in a Hug-a-Bub (not sure if they are available in the USA), then a Mei Tai and then an Ergo. Sometimes I put her in the pram. The heat of the Australian summer means that wearing your baby 24/7 is a bit unrealistic and she needed to be able to stretch out and sleep.

Mother's need to support one another and not attack each other. Everyone is totally different. I don't want to sleep with my daughter because she is such a noisy sleeper and hogs the bed! I never though a 13kg toddler could take up so much room!

I do like Myim's definition of AP but I personally wasn't a fan of it and didn't do it with either of my girls, who are now 6 and 8 and were also seen as very happy, well adjusted toddlers and still seem to be doing okay. I just think that here in America the concept of AP can too easily be translated to "I must be a slave to my child and be with them 24/7 and forget that I am my own individual person." Now having said that, I, too, fell victim to that thought after having my children, and I learned later that it is good to have your own life and yes, I explain to my girls that just like they love playdates, mommies need to have their own "playdates" as well. Having time to myself makes me a better parent because I am able to recharge and rest and relax and have more patience. I guess my biggest issue with AP is the co-sleeping. I just can't wrap my head around the idea of being intimate while my child is sleeping right next to me. And before anyone tries to say that I'm a prude, let me assure you that my children knew the correct names for their private parts when they were just learning to talk, my husband and I were not ashamed to let them see us naked, and they know the bare bones basics of how they were conceived.

I got so wrapped up in reading all the books from "experts" after I had my first child, and I think that a lot of parenting boils down to instinct. I was so stressed out with my first newborn, crying about how I couldn't figure this parenting thing out if I was "smart" enough to have a law degree, but when I finally let all those "experts" go and told myself that I could be a mother, both my newborn and I became a lot happier. Am I an expert parent? No. Do I make mistakes? I'm sure I do. But I think that, overall, I am parenting the best way that I can and so far my girls don't exhibit any signs of being sociopaths and have lots of friends that want to play with them, so they are turning out okay despite my shortcomings :)

Momy!!!

@ Julia Dream -

Her family is Jewish, therefore this was a religious choice. She should not be condemned simply because her belief system differs from yours. Just as there are different ways to parent, there are different ways to parent in those different ways (does that make sense...lol).

I think Mayim is absolutely awesome. I've got so much respect for her as a person. I've not read the book so I can't really comment but I'm very close to my parents to the point where I see them as friends to some extent. I'm 23 and this has pros and cons obviously. This morning my father and I had a discussion regarding my love life and I didn't overly appreciate his 'man up' attitude. Though I guess he doesn't and has never seen me as his little princess which is good because they're aren't any lies etc. However my mum usually gets involved a lot...I love her but sometimes we should share less!!

I believe it is important to explain our children WHY they can't do a certain thing, rather than just saying no. But not saying no does not imply a lack of boundaries.
The best way a child can grow into knowing what's best for them and for the rest is by knowing why somethings are not ok to be done and what are the options when you can't do those.
I do use No when there's the possibility of danger. That's the time I use a firm NO with out an immediate explanation. If not I say, No you SHOULD'T (not CAN't) cause of this, this and this, "you can how ever do this, this and this. But do you understand why you shouldn't or is best for you not to do this other thing?"
It can be a little...annoying (if it can be put that way) to be explaining all the time. But the truth is that as parents it is our function to raise children, and the best way is by explaining life to them, each time a doubt strikes them. If we do not live up to our position in this life as teachers of our children, then we can not complaint about how they turn up.

I would not circumcise a child of mine, aside from the fact that I am not Jewish, simply because it is a harm done to my child's body, and I can not conceive after 9 months of guarding them and caring for them and defending their health and life, to harm them..I wouldn't do that the same as I didn't pierce my daughter's ears when she was born, I haven't still and she's 3 and a half years old. It is something that she has to decide to do. She has already asked why she can' t wear earrings, and I have explained that she can't cause she has no holes in her ears, then she asked why, and I explained that it was something that hurts so we decided she was not to get them pierced as a baby, but that when she decides to get them pierced understanding that it might hurt her, I'd take her to do it.
My parents did the same with me when I was four, and it hurt and I got scared by the noise the little machine made when they pierced my right ear....so I chose not to pierce the other...and so i lived with only one (pirate like) pierced ear till I was like 8 or nine...but it was my choice.

Also regarding the note I am happy to read about another mother still breastfeeding their child over 3. I do it still. And I must say that now days my breasts are aching a bit but I have explained that to my daughter and so we chose together when she can do it, knowing that it is now a once or twice a day opportunity.But the up side is that she's not being forced to leave it with no understanding of what's going on , and we still have a resource to make her feel contained when she needs to. She is slowly going through the transition of finding other ways to feel comforted with me, like hugging into sleep.

It seems to me that Mayim is very intelligently promoting a form of parenting that is worthy of attention. Though I am not a parent, I know that being told "no" as a child has had a profound effect on my life as an adult. Essentially being told "no" in certain situations created a stifling effect in many areas of expression. All because when I was 3 years old, I was told that what I was feeling was "wrong." I think there's another approach, and it doesn't mean being ignorant of positive and negative choices or consequences of choices. I find the attachment parenting style fascinating.

I have not read this book, but am not a fan of AP - at least not from the interviews and excerpts I've read regarding this book and what I've seen my friends do. I think children these days have no boundaries and parents of this style are often trying to be their children's friend. I see a lot of AP that = helicopter parenting and where there is no boundary between parent and child. I read Bringing up Bebe and can identify with that much more. I won't be circing my child and and I will do a co-sleeper bed until they are old enough to not need to nurse throughout the night, but I'm not going to have my life so intertwined with my child that I have no identity and they have no identity.

I've been a fan of Mayim since her Blossom days and love her part on The Big Bang Theory. I'm happy to learn that's she so educated and not afraid to write/speak about her style of parenting. Congrats to her for putting herself out there and taking a big part in the rearing of her children as many "hollywood" mothers leave it to their nannies...

"No" is one of the most important words a child can learn. Girls need to know how to say no and mean it when in particular circumstances and boys need to know that "no" means "no!" no matter what!

Give your child the gift of knowing what "no" means. It can save a life.