missi pyle's adventures with seitan
After taking on cheese paninis and the cheesy oozy guacamole bean dip from my book, my friend Missi Pyle continues to explore her new kind diet. In this installment of her guest blogs, she's branching out and experimenting with seitan:
More Vegan Adventures in Wonderland with Missi and Meredith. Aka The Vegan 15 Aka Seitan is not from Satan!
You'd think cutting out a lot of animal product from your diet would make you svelt and bodilicous. Well. Not if you are me. You see. It's not like there aren't a lot of options to choose from. It's just that A. I don't even know what most of them are- Umebochi*? What the hell is that? Miso paste? Do you brush your teeth with it? Kobacha? Whatcha? And legumes. Ok I get it. Fancy word for BEANS. But you literally have to soak them over night. And B. I am such a ridiculous procrastinator, I don't usually think about what I am going to eat until it is already half way down my esophagus.
I tend to just go for the same not so scary vegan food that is on the counter all the time. potato chips. pita chips and hummos. corn chips and hummos. corn chips and salsa. corn chips and guacamole and hot fake cheese. Bread and pasta and more hot fake cheese and more corn chips.
And when you are out at a restaurant, like the not so vegan one at jfk, and you are starving, and where literally the ONLY vegan thing on the menu is waffle fries. And its almost midnight and you've already had 2 glasses of wine, you eat the waffle fries.
Hence the Vegan 15... and matching muffin top.
It was in the quest for something delicious, not scary, and not muffin top-able that I came across this recipe.
Naughty Vegan Polenta & Seitan Casserole.
Seitan you are asking?? What the hell is Seitan?** Well other than being naughty, obviously, it's basically wheat gluten. Or wheat meat. And its consistency is pretty dang close to that of say ground beef in a recipe. Fake Ground beef? That doesn't sound too scary. But is it good?
Well. Wait and see grasshopper.
First you coat the bottom of a casserole dish with most of 1 qt of Marinara sauce. (preferably home made. wow. really? no. we did not do that. we let someone over at whole foods make it. Then put it in a jar. shh..)
Then you cook 1 package of polenta (about 2 cups)
and add a layer of it about 1/- 1/2 inch thick. just use half for first layer. we kind of crumbled ours on there. which was hard on our fingers because it was hot and we are mildly retarded.
Then you spread half a package of seitan (store bought. whew) and spread evenly over the polenta.
then another layer of polenta and the rest of the seitan. You put the rest of the marinara on top. Then spread a nice layer of Daiya Mozzerella fake cheese on the top top. Garnish with oregano, sea salt, pepper, evoo.
Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes.
Open a nice bottle of red to keep you company while you wait.
Before you take this seitan dish out of the oven. Punish it for being so naughty by broiling the top for a few minutes to brown the "cheese".
Then wait for it to cool. Which is hard for us because Frank taught us waiting is for pussies.
Then you put some in a bowl
and give it to your baby sister Meredith.
Well. I am not sure that warm and creamy are going to take away my muffin top. But this dish IS delicious. and so NOT SCARY. its like polenta lasagna. But BETTER. seriously. by far the best thing we have made from Alicia's book. actually its not in the book. just on the website. maybe she should put it in the next book. Alicia?
Ok.
Until we meet again, remember, no one goes to hell for getting naughty with seitan.***
*umeboshi are pickled ume fruits common in Japan. apparently they are really sour and salty. still not doing it for me. but most vegans think they are super rad.
**truly sorry for that pun
***and that one. i should be punished****
**** again. Sorry.
***
Missi has since updated me that she lost the extra weight by switching to lentil chips from Trader Joe's (way fewer calories than corn chips). Now she says she can pretty much eat whatever veg food she wants without gaining weight. Yahoo! Stay tuned for Missi's next vegan adventure.
What's your favorite "cheesy" vegan dish?
Related Stories:
Nourishing Nishime
Guest Starring Missi Pyle!
Guest Blog: Missi Pyle's Vegan Quest - Day 1
Lea Michele's Guilty Pleasure...
21 comments
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Missi is a riot and the recipe looks awesome - maybe for dinner when the kids' meat-eater friends are over, a time when you really need vegan food to look/taste like its non-veg counterpart.
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@Dan: Hello Dan, I appreciate your whole plant food comments. Like you, I much prefer whole plant foods~and mostly raw at that. Nothing easier than grabbing a bunch of bananas for lunch! YUM. Also, it's critically important to keep the diet low in fat. That's why I pretty much avoid cooked vegan "gourmet"~waaay to high in fat in most cases!
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Missy's adventures are reminding me so much of mine! Especially this one about the weight gain. I still haven't lost weight (besides an initial 10lbs when I cut out meat all together) because I do a lot of those "easy" vegan foods, like chips and salsa and processed fake meat like Boca Burgers.
Also, the funky names of everything weirded me out at first, too. Now I know what most of them are and I like learning and tasting what the new ones are!
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Hi Missy & Meredith!
The Naughty Vegan Polenta & Seitan casserole is my recipe!! Thank you for featuring it in your post!
created the recipe one day when I had a hankering for chicken parm/eggplant parm. When I posted the recipe, I didn't want to confuse people by adding too much information. Just so you known when I am in a rush, I will use store bought sauce and store bought, premade polenta. However, when I have more time, I will make polenta from scratch. There is a method/tecnique to making polenta. For one, superstition says that you should always stir polenta with a wooden spoon --and continously stir to prevent lumps. I come from an Italian family so buying store bought sauce and polenta is sort of frowned upon. But I don't always have time to be perfect so I will use the premade aforementioned.
So glad you tried the recipe. If you want further info on making polenta, please send me an email. I'd be happy to share my family's recipe/tradition.
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I am at work too, but couldn't resist reading every word of Missi's post when I saw it in my in box! Laugh out loud funny! I travel alot with my son's soccer team and find it hard to eat out with the team. Sometimes french fries or salad made with iceburg, (yuk!) are my only options. But I pack in the green juice and steamed kale when I get home!!
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Dan, I think the point was to try something new. What she said about not reconizing a lot of vegan foods is not uncommon. When you are trying to fill your whole diet with whole vegan foods that the average non-vegan knows - it is impossible. When you are out and unable to cook for yourself, the choices are very limited. People avoid the unknown and half the foods a veteran vegan eats are "unknowns" to a non or new vegan - it can be very scary. For those of us new to being vegan, this was EXACTLY what we need - to hear that we are not the only ones struggling with limitations and so much to learn. Thanks Missy!!!!!
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I know many people who suffer from gluten allergies that vary in symptoms and impact. Many phycisians miss the connection between food allergy and arthritis. As a whole plant based food advocate, I'd recommend a non-gluten grain such as brown rice, quinoa, or even buckwheat in its unprocessed form.
Processed vegan food is often as unhealthy for some people as an animal based food like product. Make sure to consider potential allergies when trying new food ingredients. Usually, I recommend a whole food rather than an item that has been processed.
When will we see Galaxy Quest II?
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this is so funny, I laughed out loud, and I am at work!!!!! keep her writing...
Thank you for the happy coments
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I love this post! (As well as Missy's previous post.) I laughed out loud. So funny. I love her take on eating vegan. (So true that sometimes, the only available vegan thing on a menu is... not so healthy.) I love the pictures of your house, it's just beautiful. And I love that she's cooking with her little sister :) She's just so relatable, I feel like I'm there with you guys!
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Missy Pyle and her sister Meredith seem really nice, maybe it's because I don't know them but reading their blog doesn't convince me to try what they say... I hate to generalize but judging from my previous experiences I can say I'm not the kind of guy who usually get along fine with "party girls"... Personally I tried the Daiya vegan "cheese", after a few bites I didn't really liked the taste... Cheese is made with dairy products, but I figure it's possible they invent some substitute who taste approximately the same... I remember I tried another brand around 2005 when I was trying to lose weight, the consistency reminded me rubber but it tasted good... After looking at pictures of Seitan I think I would still prefer Tofu, but I could try it...
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That was fun, and I'll definitely try out the recipe!
I've just veganized my fave roasted veggie lasagne, which I used to heap with smoked mozzarella. It turned out amazingly well: "cheesy" and smoky!! I've blogged it here:
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Seriously keep these coming...her posts are so funny and entertaining!
I recently made a VEGAN QUESO that was out of this world...
http://veggiegrettie.com/2011/12/29/vegan-nacho-cheese-aka-vegan-queso/
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I am SO thankful for these blogs! I thought I was the ONLY new vegan who actually GAINED weight!!! Isn't healthy, vegan food supposed to make you lose weight? Well, not if it it's the holiday season and you are DETERMINED to make all your late-grandmother's recipes--veganized and not tell anyone until later just so you can prove that vegan isn't un-tasty! So, now I'm on the "super" healthy vegan lifestyle and trying to live with the weight gain (probably too because I was underweight) and this dish sounds SO wonderful. I'm slowly converting a friend to a vegan lifestyle and I've already told her we're having a girls night and making the bean dip you last blogged about! This recipe I am definitely going to try too! I just discovered polenta and discovered I actually love it! Thanks again and sorry this is so long!!!
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LOOOOOOOVE HER!!!! Too funny! I'm going to try this recipe, I've had a roll of polenta sitting in my cupboard and I've been waiting for a recipe to use it. After her last post (ooey gooey cheezy guacamole) I went home and bought the ingredients that I needed and made that last night. YUUUUUUMMMYYYY!!! Please keep her blogging she's a blast to follow!
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I went vegetarian for a year before going vegan and the reliance on processed foods is a normal step of the manic diet change! I feel as if it's sort of necessary. You need to go through it to realize that your body can no longer run on sugar.
Speaking of which, did you know that some sugar isn't vegan!?
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"we are mildly retarded"
Sorry, but using the r word is terribly offensive and entirely inappropriate. -
I JUST ADORE her posts!!!! She is hysterical!!! Could you get her to do a regular post on the Kind Life? Plus ! I LOVE pics of YOUR house! Too darn adorable!
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That recipie sounds fantastic! and I am definitely investing in some lentil chips because I too have a weakness for easy peasy corn chips and salsa.
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Love this post! So funny. :) And I need to try this recipe. My favorite "cheesy" vegan dish is defiintely your oozy guacomole bean dip. I take that to parties all the time and it's always demolished by my non-veg friends. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Seriously? This is vegan??"
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