our next book club book is...
The Continuum Concept! I know that I've blogged about this before, but I felt so strongly about this book that I wanted to make an an official book club selection! Take a look and let me know what you think:
The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost
By Jean Liedloff
This book focuses on babies and child rearing, but it's really not just for those who are pregnant or have kids. It's a super interesting examination of people and society, and what the traditional Western upbringing has done to us. I have to say, this is an absolute must read!!
I had a hard time getting into it at first, but I knew what it was about, so I forced myself to continue. It ended up being an absolutely great read. I wish every mother- and father-to-be would read this, but especially moms. The concepts in this book will save you stress and money on all the "things" people think they need for kids. It will save you time and energy, and make your life and your child's life so much better. I'm so glad I read this book, and I hope you will read it too!. You can get it on Amazon, and there is a great website about it too.
I hope you enjoy this book, and don't forget to post your comments and questions below as you read!
34 comments
-
Greetings Kind Life Book Club,
just wanted to let you all know about my website www.original-innocence.com i am the only person in the world trained by jean liedloff, The Continuum-Concept author, to do her work with parents of small children. i charge a dollar a minute for consultations and all work is done by telephone while the children are in bed or with a care provider because it is all about changing the parents habits, and then the child's behavior will change effortlessly. Please check out my website and if you feel like i may be of help to you or your family please do not hesitate to call-- 808-936-6043
-
I like the book but prefer Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting. I don't think I could let my baby play next to a six foot ditch...sorry, call me a westerner
-
Interesting book. I'm somewhere in the middle of the road here but it brought to the forefrond a lot of interesting concepts that I will work on trying that may make my life and my childrens life easier.
-
Hi Mistie, that's very interesting! I wish more moms would take your approach. I'm currently in graduate school and sometimes the narcissistic behavior of my classmates reminds me of what can go wrong when parents overly inflate their child's ego. Your sincere approach sounds very healthy!
-
Wow! I'm so glad you are reading and recommending this book! It has helped guide me through parenting from day one with my little ones and thankfully has helped us create a secure attachment based on love and intuition.. not on doctors or salesperson instructions, lol! Not even mother-in-laws ;)
@ Nathalia, when my boys are proud of something they did, I just give them a sincere "Awesome." and a hug. No need to dramatize or over react, just acknowledge that they are cool beings who have a lot of great talents. :) Being genuine doesn't mean never praising or giving compliment... it means just being sincere. Kids can tell if you mean what you say or are just propping them up. The appreciate honesty in all forms, even gentle criticism when needed.
Hope that helps. ;)
-
Nathalia, that´s what I was wondering, too, as positive reinforcment plays an important part in the upbringing of children...
-
Something else I thought was intersting is when the author talks about the idea that a "surprised" reaction to positive actions (i.e. wow! Look at what Jenny did at school!) makes the child feel subconsciously like it's not expected to do such positive actions. I had never thought about this before, and I was wondering, for the moms that follow the continuum concept, how to you give positive feedback and encouragement to your children?
-
I'm also reading the book and I came across this video online:
htttp://video.au.msn.com/watch/video/attachment-parenting-a-new-age-fad/x247s1k
It seemed to me like these parents are missing the point... I was wondering what you all think!
-
I'm reading this book and it makes me sad. I'm a neonatal ICU nurse and I see the broken bonding with parents, parents afraid to touch, hold, care for their child because they are in an isolette or are attached to respiratory equipment. In our hospital we do have a developmental care committee to promote bonding, kangaroo care, breastfeeding and try to promote a more natural environment for the family but I wish we could do more!
-
I think it's sad that our society has come to consider people to be different if they follow the natural parenting principles in this book. I read this book over 20 years ago. I have parented four children to near adulthood following an attachment parenting model, and am excited to have a grandbaby coming who will also be parented this way.
As a society we have become pretty selfish. The Western world is one of the only cultures in which co-sleeping, baby-wearing and extended breastfeeding are not the norm. As a parent of 4 well-adjusted teens and adults, I'm here to tell you that these methods DO work. I do not have a single regret about the hours I have devoted to raising attached children, and I can assure you that they are all quite independent now!
Many parents are too busy wanting it all. They don't want to take time to nurture and raise their children themselves. Those parents have every right to make that choice. I just don't like to see them condemning others for making different choices.
-
I agree with Krysta . Before I had my son I never knew anything about the term "attachment parenting". It also wasn't until just before his birth that I had a change of heart and decided to have him naturally. Something in me just clicked.. and after some reading, documentary watching (Ricki lake!), and soul searching I began to change. I had a natural birth and that just started my path into to natural parenting. We co-slept since day 1 (I had some really progressive nurses in a hospital that showed me how and encouraged it). I wore him non-stop in this beautiful organic sling... I nursed him until he self-weened at age 2. He has since moved into his own room but he is in a full size bed so I can help him drift off to sleep and sneak into bed with him if he wakes up scared to be alone. Yes, of course this arrangement is not easy on the parent.. nor the marriage. It has taken its toll.. but thankfully.. my husband has been understanding throughout this process and we are pretty much on the same page. I read this book a few months ago and cried because it was validation that my gut feeling as a mother was right. I went against my friends and pediatrician (and mother's!) advice and never let my son cry it out.. and I am so happy to know that I am not alone in that.. i am giving my son the best start to his life.. and although it's not easy in this modern society.. it is right... and it follows my basic instincts.
-
Yes this book was written decades ago and has antiquated notions about homosexuality. Liedloff has since spoke about that.
This isn't supposed to be a parenting guide. It's supposed to illustrate how, based on anthropological studies, humans have evolved and the way we come into this world with certain expectations.
Sure, we all know that babies don't need to be held all the time and they can survive without being breastfed. Modern living doesn't require they wake up easily and frequently their first year of life. But that is how we as a species have evolved. So whether we like it or not, that is what babies expect.
We know babies are safe crying in a crib, but the baby does not know that. They are hardwired to expect close contact with caregivers, to be held. So when that doesn't happen, alarms sound in their reptile brain.
I think a lot of people read Liedloff's book or other attachment parenting books and react with guilt. No one living in our modern, American world can exactly replicate the childrearing practices of the Yequana. That makes me feel guilty I can't provide that for my baby.I'm sure that is part of the reason people dismiss these ideas as impractical.
But this book has helped me feel like I can trust my instinct, that I can respond to my baby when she cries and know I am doing what is best for her. Much like the idea of veganism is so radical to some at first, it challenges the way of life we like, are used to, and comes easily to us. But once you let the ideas soak in and give it some time, you'll see just how rewarding it can be.
-
-
-
I agree 100% with Brit B. I clung to the ideals of attachment parenting for too long (my children are 6 and 3 yrs.) and it definitely took a toll on my mental health AND my marriage. Unless you live in a commune, this lifestyle is quite unsustainable long-term in our culture. As in all things, strive for the middle path.
Also, this book has some dated ideas about child development, such as the notion that mothers "make" their sons homosexual by smothering them with attention. Just a common sense warning to take it with a grain of salt.
-
I've been following your blog for some time now and really enjoy it. I am a vegan mother of 3, and my youngest is 5 months now. I just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents. The philosophy espoused by this book sounds great in theory but unfortunately our culture does not support this type of parenting, which can lead to exhaustion and mental health problems in new moms. Carrying your baby 24 hours a day, sleeping with your baby at night, and nursing on demand sound fantastic, until you are so sleep deprived that you start to hallucinate. Unless you have a live-in nanny, a caring relative that lives close by, or a partner that is home often and can support you, and you can hand the baby off to a helper regularly, (similar to those in village type cultures that can really thrive with this type of parenting), the realities of our culture make this style of parenting very difficult to achieve. I've nursed my 3 til they self-weaned, had blissfully unmedicated births, did kangaroo care for the first month after birth, and live a pretty kind life, but my family and I were MUCH healthier and happier when baby slept in her own bed, was put down to play by herself at times, stuck to a sleep/eat routine, and let mama get at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night.
-
-
-
-
Hey all, keep in mind that books can be ordered used off of Amazon, and other sites, if your library or used bookstore doesn't have a copy.
-
Just want to let all the non-parents know it is worth reading! I read it years ago - and again since - and have no children, have no interest in having children.....hell, I don't even really like children.....ha! My point being that this book is definitly not just for people thinking about having kids, its a really interesting anthropological study and I have often thought about a lot of her findings/observations in the years since reading it.
-
I haven't read the book but it seems very much like the Attachment Parenting philosophy. My husband and I have a no cry policy in our home. It applies for our 15 week old and our 3.5 year old. I'm a working mom who pumps twice daily at work. My co-workers thought I was nuts after my first was born and now they just realize this is the norm for me. At home, my older son nursed on cue (when he was nursing) and my infant now nurses when he needs to as well. My infant now sleeps with me and my 3 year old with my husband, although he used to sleep with both of us before the baby was born. Because of our attachment parenting, my older son is the child who responds and consoles crying children in his class.
I did just have a unique conversation today about teaching my 3 year old to rush. Fortuantely and unfortunately, I live in a NYC suburb where everyone is type A. My collegue said "everyone in this area has to be like a hampster on a wheel just to survive". I definitely feel this as I'm carting two kids out the door at 7:45am so that I can make it to work by 9am. It makes my heart ache a little when I think about my 3 year old saying "mommy look at the pretty flowers" and I say in return "come on, come on,come on, let's go. Mommy's going to be late for work". Where it can be a struggle, I'm learning to place less emphasis on my career and more on raising my children in a peaceful household. But unfortunately, the career pays the basic household bills and allows us to eat the best quality food available.
Modern conveniences are definitely taking alot from our children's imagination, innate sense of being in the moment and health.
-
I love books that challenge the mental models we have grown up with. Another interesting book that challenges our culture is Life Inc.
Mark Osborne
-
I LOVED that book. It really contributed to my decisions about pregnancy, childbirth and raising my beautiful son. I also loved "Babies Celebrated" which shows and tells of women and how they raise their babies all over the world. Another GREAT book is "So That's What They're For" about breastfeeding and parenting.
-
I have been reading this book and it's amazing! Although I know I'm not ready to have a child, it feels so good to become conscious about the way I know I want to raise/care for him/her. This book has given me such vivid dreams and although I can wait a bit, I'm excited to become a mother one day and experience the connection between my child and I in the transition from the womb to in arms! Did anyone realize Jean Liedloff passed away March 2011!? I feel like there is a reason more people are awakening and reading her book.
Available at:
Available at:
Join the Discussion!