Share Your Tips For Raising Kind Kids
Recently, I asked all you kind mamas to share your stories about vegan pregnancy and natural childbirth. For part three of my kind mama Q&A, I’m asking you to share your kind parenting tips. Feel free to answer some or all of the questions. I may select some of your answers to appear in my forthcoming book, The Kind Mama!
1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like?
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom?
You can answer in the comments below, by contacting me directly (by clicking the “contact Alicia” box to the right), or you can post your answers in this forum thread.
Thank you, kind lifers!!!
Love,
Alicia
Photo Sources: Anekoho via FreeDigitalPhotos.com, Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot via FreeDigitalPhotos.com
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23 comments
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1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
I did not hesitate to raise my baby vegan, but I did make sure my non-vegan partner was 100% onboard with the decision and willing to engage in an open and inclusive dialog about our child's diet throughout our parenting relationship, as well as be willing to defend our decisions together to other family members and friends. I respect my partner's choice to eat meat and dairy, but did not want that diet for our child. He was/is supportive of me and my vegan lifestyle because he understands the moral and health conscious grounds I act on, even though he does not choose them for himself.
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
I say, "Look at this child, he eats better than you do!" Not many people speak to the contrary because we eat so well, and our health is spectacular. Once they see my 18 month old sit down and clap in excitement for broccoli and lentils, they respond in awe. It's pretty evident that I put a lot of effort into understanding and preparing food. Those who nay-say know that I know more about it than they do, and they also see that I don't criticize their decisions, which is very important. I practice mutual respect. I hold my values as a vegan, and one of those values is to present love to my meat and cheese eating friends. If I criticize them, they won't respect me. i have to exude loving-kindness to my people friends as well as my animal friends. They are more likely to be open to my ideas if I do.
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
I talk about food matter-of-fact like. When we are reading a book about a farm and the book says something about cow's making milk, I may tell my child "cow's make milk for cow babies like Mommy makes milk for you." When he is developmentally able to understand more, I will give him more information. When he wants to eat something that is not vegan, I simply say, "That's not yours." Everyone eats their own food.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like?
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom? -
1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan? Yes, but only for being worried about what others might think. I went vegan 2 years ago when my oldest son was 1, so he had limited exposure to animal products. He now eats what we eat and is a thriving little boy. When offered meat by my omnivore husband, he tends to push it to the side through his own dislike rather than any pushing on my part. Win! I had a vegan pregnancy with my now-4-month-old and plan to raise him vegan also. I believe that education is the key to feeling confident in this choice, and I casually explain this to any who enquire. I am more confident this time around :)
2. How did you deal with naysayers? While my family generally supports me, I've had the odd "really, everything is just fine in moderation!" From my mother, which can be hard. I explain to her that every parent has the right to parent/feed their child in the way they truly believe is best for them - and knowing all the info out there, I feel I'd be an irresponsible parent to fill my children's precious little bodies with animal products. You've just got to shrug it off and explain carefully to those who ask, but refuse to be defensive - this shows a lack of confidence in your choice. I find it best to relate to people who enquire by replying honestly, "Yes I've thought about it a lot - I don't want to deprive my child of any nutrients. Now that I've researched the facts, I believe I'm feeding my child the best foods possible for their bodies."
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan? Well firstly I do not make a big deal out of it. I only bring it up when they're exposed to it - a simple "Oh ok, would you like to try some of the cow?" if he shows interest in beef, usually stops my 3 year old in his tracks! I have explained to him before that, while lots of people eat meat, we choose not to because there are other foods that are much better for our bodies and help us stay healthy. He understands the difference between cow's milk and soy milk well, and knows not to eat dairy products because it will make him feel sick (well, it will since he's never had it!). I'm careful not to say that these products are 'bad' for him as so many people around us eat them and I don't want him to become judgemental or think we're better than others.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like? Awesome both times. My eldest drank my vegan milk from age 1 when I went vegan, and weaned himself naturally at 18 months. I fed on demand and never had any problems. I considered supplementing with formula once he'd weaned but discovered it's made from cow's milk! There were so many ingredients on the can and half of them I couldn't pronounce, so I decided he would not be missing ANYTHING by moving to water! I'm 4 months into breastfeeding my new baby and have had just as wonderful experience. He's much calmer and more easygoing than my eldest son, and I sometimes wonder if the hormones in the animal products contributed to my eldest son's difficulty settling and wind pain that he experienced all throughout breastfeeding. My vegan 4 month old has had zero wind pain even though he's a speed feeder, and even seems unbothered by persistent teething. There's gotta be something in that!
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby? I have loved breastfeeding both my babies. I can't imagine going through all the effort of preparing bottles and wasting money on formula - which is exactly that after reading the ingredients - it reads like a scientific formula with nothing natural about it! I absolutely love staring into their beautiful faces and stroking their hair as they look up lovingly while sucking away. Priceless.
Thanks so much for doing this Alicia. I would love to be a part of your book and help represent Aussie vegans - there isn't much local information on veganism and I would have loved a vegan book on pregnancy - I did so much googling to find out various things - I can't wait to read the book and see if there's anything I can do differently with a (potential) 3rd pregnancy!
Katie - Brisbane, Australia -
1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
Not at all! Cow's milk is for cows... when you consider feeding your child a food that is meant to sustain a calf that grows to be several hundred pounds that's logic enough for me to stay away!
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
Most people think you're nutritionally depriving your baby and yourself. They believe the propaganda about milk helping your bones. Which is so untrue! Physical activity is the best bone strengthening advice. I think education is the number one barrier to understanding what dairy and meat are harmful not only to ourselves but mass production is harmful to our environment as well.
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
We talk about respecting living things. And like another person responded, we say that everyone has to make their own choices in the matter.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like?
I was able to breastfeed for 2 months and pumped for another month. Unfortunately, I didn't have the supply that I'd hoped. I had a serious hormone drop and I didn't know that you should NOT take Sudafed. This dries up your milk supply! I didn't have the support where I live. I am miles away from where I delivered (60 miles) and in an isolated rural community. I wish I'd had more resources.
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom?
I was thankful that I did get to breastfeed the few months that I did. I felt like the most amazing mother ever helping my son build his immune system, create a digestive system that would give him a healthy start. It might sound strange... but I also felt like I was connecting to a part of myself that only being a mother can do. Throughout my pregnancy I hoped to stay healthy, keep him safe from harm and give him the best possible chances for development. When he was born, I was able to continue that with breastfeeding. I had this moment where I felt like he's not inside me anymore, how do I protect him... And I think breastfeeding was a huge step in making me feel connected after birth when you're feeling the 'empty' bit too. Just holding him close and bonding in a way ONLY you can. It's incredible! -
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1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
*With the second baby no hesitation. I was not vegan when I had my first. I became vegan to deal with anxiety issues and it worked. I think the way animals are treated in the meat industry is appalling and just watched that psa on down and almost vomited. So now I also now being vegan is just better for all the creatures on the planet as well.
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
*I explain that my iron levels have never tested higher since switching to the plant based diet! Shuts them right up.
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
*They know it's a choice and that it is best for animals and our bodies! Double whammy.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like?
*Totally awesome. Once the boobs got used to it everything went very smoothly. I am currently breastfeeding my 4 month old and it is going very well. She loves it. My milk supply is never low on a vegan diet. When I was eating animal products I was having trouble keeping the milk supply up, but I haven't had that problem now.
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom?
*Breastfeeding is a great bonding technique. You have to hold your baby close and watch them nourish themselves. They trust you enough to eat and then fall asleep on you and to me that is the ultimate feeling of satisfaction as a mother. I learned that I can care about something else more than myself because it certainly requires lots of determination and dedication on the part of the mom because you have to be available 24/7. -
I can't wait for this book to come out! Definitely looking for and open to tips for my 7 month old!
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1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
I did not hesitate to have a vegan pregnancy or raise my son vegan. I knew when I went vegan that I wanted to have children and made sure the vegan diet was adequate and superior before making the change. I had been vegan over 3 years when I got pregnant with my son.
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
I give them facts. The truths of veganism are simple. Animals have their own purpose in life, not to be exploited and eaten by us. The facts about factory farming and milk/ egg production speak for themselves when clearly stated.
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
I am very matter-of-fact with my 4 year old son. We don't eat animals because we love and respect them. We don't take their milk because it is for the cow babies. We don't take chicken's eggs because they want their eggs. It's very simple when you put it this way. My son always asks if food/ treats are vegan, and is very on board and straight forward about being vegan.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like?
I always knew as a vegan that I would breastfeed. I knew there wasn't a comparable vegan (or not vegan for that matter) alternative. When I was pregnant, I dreamed of the day I would hold him and nurse him. I assumed my baby would latch right on and blissful breastfeeding would ensue. However, it was slightly more challenging than I expected. I could not get him to latch properly for the first couple days which led to frustration for both of us. I spoke with a lactation consultant who gave me a few tips, but it was mostly just perseverance and trial and error. Once my milk came in 4 days later, I had the latch down. It took 2 weeks total for my nipples to heal from the initial tenderness and sores. After that, it was mostly smooth sailing. We breastfed for 3 years, 10 months. It was not always easy, but I would not trade it for anything. It has been a huge nutrition source, immunity boost, and emotional bond.
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom?
I learned some of the key components of motherhood (and life) through breastfeeding-- patience, selflessness, nurturing, affection, nourishment, and so much more. -
1. Yes, until I saw Forks Over Knives- that was enough data for us to make a decision.
2. Our 2 children have always been tall and big- they look super healthy and eat amazing! Strangers have joked that my son must eat meat and potatoes, I just laugh! Potatoes yes!
3. We talk about how animals are our friends and that we do not want to eat them. We also talk about how some people do eat animals and that everyone can make their own choices.
4. Amazing! Love b/f! Love mama friends who b/f too!
5. B/f-ing is like the magic everything- hunger, mess free, teething, tired-ness, uncomfortable- I can't imagine not b/f-ing! -
1. Yes definitely. Although I whole heartedly believe children can be raised healthy and happy as vegans I doubted my own ability to provide a complete and balanced diet for my son. I'm a single mum working full time so I am constantly researching and learning easy ways to provide healthy, balanced meals. I don't enjoy cooking but am passionate about kindness so the more recipes I discover and learn the easier it gets.
2. I tell them to take a look at my healthy happy child.
3. n/a too young still
4. Great. Difficult at the very beginning with the associated pain of initial attachment but well worth it. Great soother for all occasions.
5. I had a difficult pregnancy as I separated from my partner at the beginning and then suffered post-natal depression. Breastfeeding gave my baby and I an emotional bond that may have otherwise been lost in the depression. -
Hi Alicia,
Q1. Not at all I actually went fully vegan because he couldn't tolerate the very small amount of dairy that I had in my breastmilk along with eggs too, so my son is vegan and a thriving energetic 3year old now it's nice to bring a conscious child into our world it's rewarding. As soon as I became a vegan from a vegetarian he wasn't the colicky baby anymore. I had been an on/off vegan but full vegetarian for 18 years so it was wonderful for me to have that extra push from my bub not to mention my love of animals.
Q2. I usually just say I am very informed and educated as I am studying my bachelor degree in naturopathy and have studied clinical nutrition, that usually does it. Or if they are rude I'll whip up a Whitty comment for them to chew :).
Q3. I get my son to cook with me, learn new words and there meanings. I also talk about how much we love animals and that we never hurt them that we love all creatures just like our husky Lakota. He is so compassionate, he even brings an ant on his hand inside and will say oh I love him this is my little guy, it is adorable.
Q4. As soon as I put my son on my chest straight after giving birth to him he latched on and was a superstar feeder, I really loved it and the bonding we shared during that time, I fed him for 2 1/2 years and would have kept going but I was pregnant again and lost my baby at 4months so emotionally I couldn't do it. I didn't want my grief passing through to him. But I really do miss it so does he. When I have another baby I will definitely try for longer.
Q5. It was a fantastic bonding experience for us, he demand fed from the word go and I was happy with that I couldn't let such a natural thing be a schedule for me personally. He would fall asleep snuggled up to me and drink till he slept peacefully and just wake up and drink as he pleased. When your feeding and your baby stares into your eyes like nothing else it is magical. When he got a bit bigger I would feed him in my ergo if he wanted a feed while we were out, the motion of being carried and fed soothed him. -
I am just now made the switch to a vegan diet (7 days). My daughter is 13 and my son is 2. My son still gets his bottle of milk at night and I really want to stop giving him milk altogether even though his dr has always stressed the importance of him drinking cows milk. Can I just switch is to almond milk? I know he is not allergic to almonds because he has eaten them. I guess Im a bit scared. Is it safe?
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I am raising 2 happy healthy vegan kids. I am also pregnant, this is my first vegan pregnancy. When I first became vegan after reading The China Study 2 years ago, I did not hesitate in going vegan right away. I also didn't hesitate to feed my kids vegan food, I just didn't want to force it on them. My daughter, then 5, was on board pretty quickly. She was not keen on the idea of eating animals. My son, then 2, still wanted to eat was his dad ate, which was sometimes meat. So I just kept making and offering only delicous vegan foods and eventually the kids and my husband came around.
I always to allow them to make the right choice for themselves, and they almost always do. I want them to feel happy with themselves, but never deprived or superior to other because of these choices. Not always an easy balance! I talk to them about it in an age-appropriate manner, but I don't dumb things down or lie. They deserve to know than Grandma's ham is actually a pig and that cow's milk is meant for baby calves. ANd that most animals don't grow up on lovely happy farms.
As for the naysayers, there always are some, no matter how you raise your kids. You just have to have the confidence to be true to yourself and your convictions. Having healthy kids who happily and heartily eat vegan foods also helps. Show off those beautiful happy children!
I breastfed my daughter for 3 years and my 4 year-old son still occasionnally breastfeeds. (I'm 6 months pregnant so my milk supply has decreased quite a bit.) I've had wonderful breasfeeding experiences and recommend it to any mom. It creates a beautiful lasting bond with your kids that lasts far beyond the nursing period.
I'm so excited about this new book of yours! -
What a great topic!! Wish I would have seen the Natural Child Birth and Veg pregnancy one sooner.
1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
I did not hesitate to have a Vegan baby. My husband was not Veg and I knew that his influence and having a boy that wanted to be like his Daddy that I would run in to problems eventually. So I shared with my husband the health reasons and asked him to let me have 3yrs to give him a good start. We agreed and kept him Veg for those first three years. I remember when my then 3yr old looked at his grandfather and said "Turkeys go gobble gobble, they aren't for eating" and when his grandmother tried to sneak him cheese saying it was Broccoli, he laughed.... "Broccoli is green and looks like trees, this is cheese and comes from a cow, I don't go moo". I did not hesitate to feed him vegan but I also didn't hesitate to teach him from a very young age where food comes from (in age appropriate snippets) . His health, growth, and development all exceeded everyone's expectations, and even the doctor said at one point "What ever your doing, keep doing it" he didn't catch so much as a cold in over 3yrs.
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
The naysayers weren't a challenge as much when he was a baby because I they knew how I ate and weren't surprised at that point. They were actually worse when I was pregnant. But that is another story. Our doctor was OK with things as long as my son continued to have no problems. And with him doing so well the naysayers we did have were really those that just didn't understand. Like Grandparents thinking children are deprived if they don't have a happy meal and chocolate ice-cream. Or thinking chicken soup is OK if they skim the chicken out of the broth. But those that tried to trick him in to eating stuff and go against my wishes...Well that got me to a point where he just wasn't allowed to be alone with them until he was much older.
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
I have always been very open with my son about diet from a very young age. Even when he was doing sign language as a baby. If we saw people eating something, he would ask a question and I would tell him which animal it was. We went to a farm sanctuary, volunteered on horse farm and visited a Lama and chicken farm. He really understands the health aspect, has watched Forks Over Knives and other similar documentaries. We grow our own garden and make him a part of the process. We also went to farmer's markets, shop together at health food stores, go to earth festivals, we cook together, read books and generally explained by example. My son at age 10 is not Vegan anymore, but eats a primarily veg diet. And understands what he is putting in his body, when, and how it makes him feel both mentally and physically.
There are times that I enjoy watching him find his uniqueness amongst the masses. He even walked in to a kitchen at camp once and told the chef he needed a vegan option because there was nothing good enough on the bar. Other times, he seems sad to be different than the other kids. So our conversations shift based on where he is developmentally and emotionally. The awesome side effect of him learning so much about animals, their wellbeing, human health, and the environment is that he has learned about himself too.
My biggest advice to parents, is to answer their questions, honestly and as age appropriate as possible. We don't even have to share the gory details. They understand way more than you know. I always waited for my son to ask but then he was very inquisitive. Here is an example of some real conversations...If my then 2.5 yr old asked how the cow became a steak, I would say that the cow had to die to become a steak. When he was 6, he may ask how the cow died, and I would answer. If he saw cows on the road in a truck and asked where they were going, I would tell him they were going to a place that would turn them in to meat. When he saw cows grazing in a pasture we would talk about how happy they are. And when we drove past a factory farm and he wondered what was inside those walls, I told him. Over time, he has put all these tidbits together and to this day still has not touched a bit of red meat.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like? I birthed in a free standing center with a Midwife, so my boy was latched on within moments of birth. He was a BF'ing champ. However, I had super soakers and that presented some of its own issues as the weeks went on. We figured things out though. I think the hardest thing for me was lack of sleep as he was a big time night feeder. But I would smile and tell myself that every moment I'm awake with him is an extra moment that I get with him. Knowing he would soon be too old and this time would be a memory I decided to treasure every minute. The next obstacle was when I fell and broke my foot in three places. With no pain killers so I could continue to breastfeed and crutches, we learned to roll around in a kitchen chair together, and sleeping in the same room became imperative. As I couldn't carry him with crutches in the middle of the night for feedings. I think that experience brought us even closer if that was possible, and I was so thankful to have everything he needed attached to my body. His nourishment, both food and love was all right there in one spot. I learned that breastfeeding is a miraculous thing and I'm so blessed to have had the opportunity to do so.
Thanks for the opportunity to share our story!
~Nita -
Hi Alicia, happy Holidays...I appreciate all the work you do so so much and would LOVE to be included in your upcoming book.
Here are the answers to your 5 questions:
1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
I never hesitated, since my husband & I had been vegan for several years already (I was vegetarian for many years before) and believed so strongly in the correlation between our excellent health and the food we put into our bodies.
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
Mostly I try to be a good example, and create, offer and bring tasty and healthy food and treats wherever I am and wherever we go. I listen, smile, and offer kind suggestions, as well as real facts about our own and our children's health. When the kids were little it was harder, since the proof wasn't there yet, but all these years later it is a pleasure to reveal the excellent health history of our family.
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
It was just a 'norm' in our home, and since we homeschooled they didn't have to deal with all the typical issues kids face when comparing food and treats with the other kids. We always had an abundance of fresh and tasty fruits & vegetables available for our family and noone ever felt like they were missing anything. We made frozen banana icecream in cones for breakfast and other delicious vegan treats and they were always happy with their food, even as they got older and were exposed to many other choices at family events, parties, dinners, etc. We always made it safe for them to try and taste anything they were curious about, but at home we were always consistant and only 'the good stuff' was/is available.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like?
Very positive, very special, and one of my favorite things in the whole world...I especially owe many thanks to my wonderful husband who supported me 100% and encouraged me to nurse as long as the kids and I wanted to - my twins for 3.5 years, then six years later my son for 4.3 years!
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom?
It was definitely a special bonding experience like no other, and mostly I learned to be totally and wholeheartedly giving and nurturing like I never knew I could. It is totally selfless, as one has to make sure to eat very well to give the proper nourishment and not indulge in food and drink that you might want, all for the sake of your little one's good health for an extended period of time. It is one of the best investments a Mom can make, and I would do it all again if I could. I know my daughters will breastfeed their babies, and I have a feeling all 3 will also raise their kids vegan as well, since they know it's the secret to excellent health.
Sending lots of love and blessings to you and your family.
Happy and healthy New Year,
Shira Levy -
Hi Alicia,
Our daughter Violet just turned four and is vegan. We are raising her in Williamsburg Brooklyn and it's been a great experience so far.
I did not hesitate to raise her vegan - it really just felt like the right thing to do for many reasons. First and foremost the ethical reasons but it also just feels like an evolution - we know now that meat and dairy and eggs are not good for us or the planet so why would I feed my most prized possession those things?
We are really lucky here in Brooklyn to have a very accepting community. So far we haven't encountered much negativity, more just questions and curiosity. It helps that Violet is strong, smart and charming! I feel like I can see the wheels in people's heads turning as they put the vegan diet together with this active crazy, fun kid. Violet's little best friend was also vegan - we actually met them in a roundabout way through your blog and her mom's blog lovelifeandlollipops.com It really helped for her to have someone else sharing her diet and lifestyle. When Violet started pre-school at age 3 we were so excited to learn that her head teacher was vegan. It was a lucky coincidence and made me feel so safe about sending her off into the big world. She is in Pre-K now and when there is a party in her class the teachers let me know so I can send a vegan cupcake in for her, or they let the parents know they need to provide one. When they do baking or cooking in her class they always make something vegan and the teachers have really gotten into it. We always have snacks on hand that are vegan and love to share them around as much as possible.
It definitely helps to live in city where there are vegan options at every turn. I love that my girl eat Ethiopian food and Cuban rice and beans and Indian food as easily as she eats faux chicken nuggets or mac and cheese.
There have definitely been hard moments once Violet was old enough to understand that she couldn't have the same things as the others... those damn goldfish crackers!!! But we would distract her and give her another treat and found some vegan cheddar crackers online that seem to do the trick. By around 31/2 she really "got" it that she was vegan and would always ask someone if the food was vegan, and tell everyone she knew. It has become easier to say "that's not vegan, so we won't be eating it" and know that she understands. I tell her that we don't eat animals and she just seems to get it. We have some books on hand to explain it to her but they are a little advanced for her age right now.
Breastfeeding was definitely the best thing I ever have done for her. It started out very badly - I had inverted nipples and she couldn't latch on. It took several visits from a lactation consultant and a whole system to get it down by after five weeks we were breastfeeding exclusively. I continued until she was 27 months old and I credit it with making her strong and healthy. She was consistently in 99th percentile for height and weight.
I'll never know for sure but she had no flu bugs, ear infections or green snot like so many other babies and toddlers around her seem to have. The immunity has been amazing. I also feel that by tending to her needs with nursing it gave her the strength and courage to be independent and strong.
Breastfeeding taught me a lot about myself - it surprised me that I could be so giving since I generally don't have a lot of patience. It taught me to slow down and be in the moment with Violet. Towards the end it did feel like a bit of a sacrifice and could even be frustrating but I'm proud that I stuck with it for as long as I did. It always felt like the right thing to do, despite anything else.
Thanks!
-Erica. -
I am cooking my Veggie kid now and can't wait for your book to come out. My sister has 2 young kids and their family is all veggie and they are very healthy and happy babies. I love it when my niece says ....we don't eat cows...we hug them silly:-)
I know that I will need tips as my little one grows up in a meat eating world and I am so excited that we will have this resource for that!! Happy new year everyone.... -
I did hesitate to raise my kids (mostly) vegan because I have very litle support. My husband is a chef and can't understand why I want to deprive our children. I love him, but he is a bit backward where health is concerned. Both of my boys and myself have dairy allergies and we keep kosher, so being vegan is actually easier for us!
I haven't found a great way to deal with the many naysayers in our lives. I actually get tired of explaining our lifestyle to people. I am a stay at home mom for my two boys (age 4 and 19 months) and we don't have a lot of money. So when I go out of my way to buy organic produce and cruelty free soaps and household items (often more expensive than the other brands) people think I am being careless with my money. I explain that meat and cheese is way mpre expensive than lentils and beans. I try to explain how much healthier our boys are than my first son was when I was feeding him meat and dairy (he was pretty sick and needed lots of tests and an edoscopy) and how much more they eat now that they are eating food that is kind to their bodies and kind to our planet. I have learned to just ignore the eye rolling ;)
I have recently started talking to my 4 year old about being vegetarian and mostly vegan. It's hard and I need to tread lightly because most of the people in his world eat meat and dairy, including his dad. I told him we love animals and eating meat and dairy hurts them, so we don't eat it. He seems to understand. I have to tell him that his Abbah (his dad) loves animals too, he just chooses to eat meat and dairy. It is extremely hard to not demonize his dad and other family members since the opposite of caring for animals and our planet by being vegan is NOT caring by being an omnivore. It's a work in progress for us.
Breastfeeding has been an exasperating and an exhilerating experience. My oldest son nursed until he was 16 months old and then walked away from it himself while I sniffled and passed him a sippy cup. My second son is still nursing at 19 months old. This one may need to be weaned gently or I fear he'll call me to nurse from his college dorm. I am so happy when I think about the nutrients and love they were/are given while nursing.
I think nursing helps bond like nothing else can. I had pretty severe postpartum depression after my first child was born. While I felt like a horrible mother and wanted to end my own life, nursing that baby kept me in constant contact of why I loved him and I never thought of harming him. I was able to get help because I wanted to be able to keep nursing him, and taking my life was no way to accomplish that. It was that connection that kept me here and helped me find a way to be joyful and confident about being a mother again. There is nothing like looking at your child while nourishing him at your breast. I taught my second child his body parts, I patted cloth diapered tushes at 3 am more times than I'd like to know, I quieted teething pain and headaches, I gazed into blue eyes and hazel ones until heavy lids fell - all while my baby nursed. There is NOTHING in this world that compares.
I am so excited for this book! Thanks so much for being an inspiration to us - for those of us who only have a small support group, it really means the world. -
Hello Alicia,
I'm so glad that you are working on a book for vegan pregnancy and childbirth. I'm even more excited that you are including postpartum stuff as well especially breastfeeding.
1. Did you hesitate to raise your baby vegan?
No, I didn't not hesitate to raise my son Miles vegan. I saw how my husband (who has been vegan for 12 years) and I were in excellent health eating vegan. We think it will be the same for our son. In Becoming Vegan, I saw the prescription for a happy vegan baby - breast milk + vitamin b12 and D + appropriate solids + sufficient calories. I thought, I can do that! Even his daycare is on board and they are providing him with healthy vegan food every day!
2. How do you deal with naysayers?
I tell them that we are in consultation with our family doctor and dietitian both who support our decision. I refer them to books on the subject. Looking forward to telling people about yours. I cannot count the times people have asked have you given your son cow's milk yet? I do not understand why there is such a pressure in society to give children another species milk when the child is perfectly happy with human milk, the milk that was specifically designed for them?
3. How do you talk to your kids about being vegan?
I haven't had a chance to do that because my son's only 13 months old. But I have the book That's Why We Don't Eat Animals ready for that discussion. I also referred them to these books Becoming Vegan and Raising Vegetarian Children.
4. What was your breastfeeding experience like?
It was a bit of a challenge at the start but with support from my husband, friends, family, lactation consultants and peer counselors it was a great success. I'm still breastfeeding at 13 months. As per the suggestion in Becoming Vegan I hope to provide breast milk for Miles until he is at least 2 years old. The weaning process starts as soon as you give the baby solids. I see the gradual weaning process in action and it's natural. It's a mutual experience.
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom?
Breastfeeding is the first lesson you get in mom and baby bonding. You are providing your baby with the nourishment they need. You both grow with the experience.
Alicia, I could not be happier that you are doing this book. You are an inspiration to so many (including myself).
Sincerely,
Vicki Bonanno (Guelph, ON Canada)
Available at:
Available at:
Breast feeding was easy and successful for me, We breast fed exclusively for five months, before it was clear our baby wanted to try some spoon feeding. The most challenging part about breastfeeding was that my little boy breast fed literally every two hours, night and day for the first 5 months, and would have kept doing so if I didn't intentionally make him stop. This was a huge stressor for me and my partner. With the advice of our pediatrician and lactation consultant, we started letting the babe cry out every other night feeding in order to get more sleep for me and him. (ex. eat at 6, skip 8pm, eat at 10pm, skip midnight, eat at 2am, skip 4 am, eat at 6 am) this took a couple weeks and was really difficult, but he is a great sleeper now. At 18 months, he sleeps in his own toddler bed in our room, and wakes up once in the night to nurse, then I return him to his bed. This works well for our family. I will stop nursing when he indicated he is ready, or naturally lets go of feedings, but now that I have been working full time for the last six months, it's his favorite thing to do!
5. How did breastfeeding help you bond with your baby and learn about yourself as a mom?
Breast feeding taught me a lot about myself and definitely help me grow attached to my baby. It forced me to advocate for myself as a mother because I had to defend my decision to do so (unfortunately). It brought me closer to myself, my body and my potential to nourish my child. It connected me with other mothers in the lactation community who were like-minded. It taught me that there's more than one way to do everything, and no one way is the correct way. Babies all nurse differently, have different preferences, Mamas have different rules and expectations, some stop nursing early, some don't, some sleep all night, some nurse all night! It made me more open-minded and strong as a woman.