A Veg Guy Shares About Valentine’s Day
We have a lot of ladies here who guest blog here, but it’s not often to come across a cool veg guy who wants to share. I was really excited when Kind Lifer Kalem agreed to guest blog about his experience as a veg guy on Valentine’s Day. Here’s what he had to say! Love, Alicia
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My First Vegan Valentine’s Day
by Kalem
This time last year, my girlfriend and I had been vegan almost one month and were feeling great. However, there was a small cloud looming on the horizon: Valentine’s Day.
I’m not the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day. I’m sure I have my reasons deep down someplace, but this might just be an old fashioned case of being a “stick in the mud.” Still, I knew my girlfriend would be excited, and I was determined to do things right. I had a great plan. We would go to a restaurant, get some drinks, order up the best thing on the menu, and cool it all down with a chilled desert. A fine meal is an easy way to show someone you care. Unfortunately, you can’t “make it rain”(aka spend a lot of money) at a vegan restaurant, or at least it’s very difficult. I learned that even after drinks, appetizers, main courses, dessert, and coffee, I would be lucky if I would be paying more than $75. I began to panic a little. It wasn’t really about the money. I knew she would be happy with a nice dinner, but I felt I needed something more.
I looked online for jewelry, but nothing inspired me to purchase. I found a flower shop, but that seemed cliché. I even hit up my friends for craft ideas, but execution would fall well short of the sentiment. Then it hit me. I needed to think about what we shared, and why that was special to me. Our lives needed to inspire how we celebrate the holiday, and inspiration was staring me straight in the face.
Our first steps into veganism were also corresponding with us deciding to move in together. New beginnings were popping up for us everywhere , and we were both very excited and hopeful for the possibilities. I decided I wanted to harness some of that energy into our Valentine’s Day celebrations. For dinner, we picked a vegan restaurant that was eco, and mirrored our concern for healthy food, prepared well, and grown locally (we picked Café Gratitude in Hollywood). This was what we cared about. For our relationship, I got diamond earrings, but with raw diamonds that were conflict-free. This was to recognize that we have something strong and special, but very new. She loved it.
While I am not a big fan of the Valentine’s Day spirit, I do have to say I learned a lot. Through the hustle and bustle, I was able to find out what really mattered. It isn’t about being flashy, and making a huge fuss. When it comes down to it, the day is about taking the time to tell the person you love how much they mean to you. Sometimes that means “making it rain” at a restaurant, and sometimes that means buying a set of raw diamond earrings. Other times, it’s about the smaller details that make it all more significant.
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Thank you, Kalem! The thought and effort you put forth is just so sweet. Your girl is lucky!
How do you make Valentine’s Day meaningful for you?
About Kalem: Kalem works in film postproduction and is an aspiring screenwriter. He enjoys trying new recipes, Scorsese films, and most things nerdy. Add Kalem as a friend.
Photo source: flickr.com / seanmcgrath, Flickr.com / jewels globe, Flickr.com / makelessnoise, Flickr.com / bymanu
14 comments
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Way to go Kalem! The holiday to me, is about what is personal between you and your valentine and it seems you created the perfect way to honor your relationship and celebrate your love. Raw diamond earrings sound amazing! I've personally found that the gifts that cost less, mean the most at least to me. I'd rather spend $30 on an eco-friendly vegan meal, than spend much more. In fact, I wasn't feeling well this Valentine's Day, and the simplest gesture made my whole day when my sweetheart (my partner of almost six years that is also vegan too) made me one of his "world-famous" sandwiches for dinner and we just stayed in and spent time together. The little things mean the most--and it is all about the heart and thought you put into the gift whether it costs a little or a lot. All the best~ -
That's great! It's really finding the gifts, the gestures that your partner or spouse find meaningful - it's not about what a corporate ad says is appropriate ... -
My husband and I have been together 8 years and this year we'll celebrate our 5 year wedding annivery. I've been vegan for about 3 years and vegetarian a little longer. We have two children and while valentines is always special and fun, it's not a huge deal (we're valentines everyday-haha cheesy but true). BUT this valentines is special. We haven't been on a date since last V day (and I was 40 weeks pregnant) so this valentines we decided to dress up really nice (which I'm so excited about since I've been working hard to get fit and lost a ton of weight) and go to a fancy restaurant we've never been to. In alaska, there are no vegan restaurants but I found ONE nice place with two vegan options so that was great. However, they didn't have a vegan dessert and that bothered my husband. SO he contacted them about it and when they called him back they told him the dessert the chef would make for me and have him a couple options. It was so sweet that my husband did that for me and now I'm even more excited! -
a. CLAP CLAP YOU ROCK! I always ask for similar gestures around birthdays and Christmas and feel sad when I instead get something unusable that I cannot return. Will save this list and keep the hope alive. -
other gift ideas:
although I myself do no participate in calendar holidays *, for those who do, think with me a minute. what one is trying to convey through gift giving is love, thought, and insight into what is meaningful to the recipient and would bring them joy. it is this intangible gesture of goodness that one attempts to translate in a tangible form, the tangible form itself is only a canvas. the thought behind the gesture really is what we value. well, what is it that your perspective gift recipient cares about? if they are vegan, their thoughts and heart is most likely often with the animals.
sponsoring an animal at a rescue sanctuary would be a way to reenforce their empathy and love for those that we are trying to free.
some I know of:
Animal Place (Grass Valley and Vacaville, CA)
Best Friends Animal Sanctuary (Kanab, UT)
Catskill Animal Sanctuary (Saugerties, NY)
Ching Farm Rescue & Sanctuary (Riverton, UT)
Farm Sanctuary (Watkins Glen, NY; Acton, Ca and Orland, CA)
Fauna Sanctuary (Carignan, QC)
Maple Farm Sanctuary (Mendon, MA)
Peaceful Prairie Sanctuary (Deer Trail, CO)
Pigs Peace Sanctuary (Stanwood, WA)
Poplar Spring Animal Sanctuary (Poolesville, MD)
Sasha Farm (Manchester, MI)
The Gentle Barn (Santa Clarita, CA)
Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary (Woodstock, NY)
* I believe that every minute of the time we are afforded has the potential to be meaningful, and that it is for each one of us to see this truth on every day... -
@ Marv......well said. It's the little things that are done every day, and not just at the beginning of a relationship, but throughout that relationship in good times and bad, sickness, health, and everything else that this journey of life has in waiting.
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At the core of what your Valentine experience was the fact that you share something that goes beyond the superficial aspects of the day.
You mentioned that you found it difficut to "make it rain" in a vegan restaurant. Obviously you found a way past this expectation. However, it might be important to note how such an expectation came to mind in the first place.
So much of our society is based in getting, having or showing off our stuff. Elabore meals and grand gestures are a part of this thinking. And yet, there is so much more love in a single glance, so much more tenderness in a loving touch than can ever be purchased.
It is nice to be acknowleged and made to feel special, all that is true. Grand gestures and thoughtful gifts are obvious and entirely appropriate from time to time. But never underestimate those simple mundane moments, when true love is expressed by simply taking out the trash. -
Sweet to read a guys view about celebrating Valentines Day. Kalem put some thought and effort which is the only real key to success. I believe keeping it simple and focused on the person is all that really matters. If you have the real thing they will appreciate anything that you take the effort to make happen to celebrate them and your relationship. Ideas can be as simple as making your loved one a vegan dinner or dessert. It doesn't have to be a day of work to pay for a lavish meal and drinks. I love that vegan restaurants aren't as pricey as other joints out there selling animal meals. Give a simple gift of flowers with a meaningful card or a pair of earrings. Give with love and you will reach her heart.
Ladies we can find simple ways to give to our special man too. Offer to make dinner together, a sweet card, a CD with nice music to listen to. Keep it simple, really it is spending quality time together that is important. -
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aw! so sweet! really enjoyed this post. I like the message too- it's the sentiment behind the action that counts. love blessings to all for Valentines! xx
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