You shouldn't beat yourself up. Even "The Kind Diet" has a section where Alicia says that if you cheat, just get back on the bandwagon. Guilt is too often a part of "diets," and that's not healthy. You should make yourself one of the teas she describes, or if you don't have those ingredients, just treat yourself to something relaxing like a bubble bath and try to let go of the nagging thoughts. It's a process. I've been "flirting" with veganism for almost a year now, and only for 2 months have I been completely 100% vegan.
When I go to my boyfriend's house, he and his housemates are always making meat or dairy dishes, and chocolate chip cookies from a tube. Sometimes the stuff is tempting, as they don't have anything vegan in their home except bananas, oil and beer :). They are a bit disapproving of my veganism, and I occasionally get lectures about how I am being "weird and unnatural. " Anyway, I try to eat before I come, and I always bring snacks. That's the key. Bring yourself some extra yummy vegan snacks when you go to someone's house. You can bring pita chips with a small container of hummus, fresh fruit or veggies, trail mix, bars, soy or coconut yogurt, pop corn with nutritional yeast, olive oil and salt on it...anything really. I tend to bring entire meals as well as vegan ice-cream, but that's because I don't have a problem being cheeky and sticking my stuff into the fridge and freezer, as I am quite comfortable in that house.
You can get probiotics from enriched soy/coconut yogurts, unpasturized miso and saurkraut (I think!) among other things, or you could take them in supplement form. Don't worry too much, and most of all, just keep feeding yourself yummy vegan meals! Pretty soon, you'll get the hang of it, and you will learn to pinpoint the difficult situations before you are in them so that you can prepare!
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