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What do you do/say/eat in social situations like a wedding or holiday party?
Started
by Dori Boone-Costantino
on October 25, 2009
Hello wonderful community! I've gone to several weddings recently and already have a few holiday parties on my calendar, which got me wondering- what do you do/say/eat in social situations where you may not have the opportunity to choose the food presented to you? I'm from Texas, so it's not uncommon for many dishes to have an animal by product (think bbq and beans), even at special events or holidays. I'd love to hear about your experiences tactfully saying 'no thank you' without hurting any feelings.
JUST CALL THE PERSON WHO INVITED YOU AND SAY HEY THERE DONT WANT TO BE A PAIN BUT NOT SURE IF you know im a vegetarian. will there be a veggie option or should i just eat before i come and you guys can save on a meal for me. dont need to order food for me type thing. and im sure they will say oh heck of course we can have a veggie option for you!kinda thing
Just be up front about it. Are the parties hosted by your friends or a friend of a friend? And have you told people about your new eating habits? Even if they mock you or don't understand it, I'm sure they don't want you to starve. :)
A lot of my friends have a 'bring your own dish' or 'hunt through our pantry' rule for whenever they have parties. A few of them even started bringing to parties, or keeping in their house, things they know I can eat. Even if it's just a veggie platter or bean burritos.
I just eat before I go, then stick to side dishes. People rarely notice as long as there is something on my plate. If they do notice... well then it often leads to an interesting conversation. And I can recommend this new "KIND" book I am reading :)
The weddings that I've been to I just eat the salad and the pasta w/ marinara that most serve as the beginning courses of the meal. If the pasta sauce isn't marinara I just ask the server to bring mine out plain, w/ marinara, or w/ olive oil and I put salt and pepper on it. Then just fill up on the booze! 
JK JK JK !
My mom is getting married in April and since she is my mom, is having them make a vegatarian dish for me and my hubby only.
At my own wedding, we had our venue serve an eggplant dish, various other vegan foods, and a huge vegan cake.
Thanks for the input friends! I've actually been veg for a few years, so it's not a surprise to most of my friends or family at this point. I honestly had never thought of just calling up the bride before hand- I'll have to try that next time!
My main struggle has actually been in professional work situations where you might not know who the 'organizer' is beforehand. That's a great idea to get co-workers and associates engaged by discussing the Kind Diet book- Alicia, thank you for writing such an approachable, fact based (but not in a snarky way), non judgmental book explaining the benefits of a vegan lifestyle! You have totally filled a much needed space!
Hey. I'm in San Antonio Texas so I am totally with you. My boy friends family does the whole hunting this and all so I'm never totally on top of what to say either....not to mention that I'm from Philly and my family isn't the easiest to deal with either.
An Idea that I use is the party rule I was taught when I was little...."NEver come empty handed." Instead of bringing a bottle of wine I bring a veg dish! This seems to work out pretty well. I also can eat some of the holiday stuff they cook...steamed beans, squash ect. Hope that helps!
My wedding is this Halloween. I'm having vegan food and cake (although there is only 2 of us that are vegan). It took my mom 10 months to come to terms that I was not eating meat....ever. So she is making a special meal for us, and I'm picking up my vegan cake at whole foods.
PS, I'm making a bunch of vegan treats for everyone to take home as a gift.
People are accommodating to their guests. So just ask =)
I usually let the people know ahead of time that I am vegan. I usually tell them that I don't want to seem rude if I refuse or do not eat certain foods, but it is because I am vegan. If the situation allows, you can always offer to bring a vegan dish. If it doesn't, just do your best at the event. There are usually always vegetarian options even if they're aren't vegan ones. Maybe have a snack before you go so you won't be hungry if there is not much to eat. And remember when you get home you can always indulge in your fav vegan foods!
If it is possible, try to always make sure you bring something yummy, or ask a waiter to make you something simple. You don't want people to get the impression that being vegan is difficult, that you never get to eat! Last wedding I went to, I just asked for pasta with marinara sauce (something they will usually have) and the waiter even asked if I wanted to add some vegetables! People are usually pretty helpful.
If it is a party at a house, I ALWAYS bring something delicious that everyone will want to eat - and I make sure I bring enough for everybody. Yummy vegan food is the BEST way to promote veganism!
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