The KInd Life Community Forum

I'm writing this really upset. i have an older sister who in all honestly hasn't always been very nice to me. She's 3.5 years older than me. We are totally different. I'm very down to earth, empathic, i'm sensitive and i have a great holistic streak in me.She, is not emoitional, very opinionated, material, and caught up in the city and if you're not like her you're wrong or sad or whatever.
As i have mentioned i have struggled with my health over the years, always playing with removing dairy and gluten from my diet, and once I tried to go vegetarian. She's always said there's always something wrong, i have to be different etc.
I got terribly ill in Nov and was hospitalised, paralysed for a month. Eventualy they diagnosed me with a pretty severe case of reactive arthritis. I'm in a wheelchair having to be on lots of meds (whihc i'm totally against) but can mobilise a bit on cruches. They now think i have Crohns which caused the above - this would make so much sense.
I read Alicia's book; and it really is the book i have been searching for all my life. I have gone vegan and will not look back. I had a lot of time to think when i was in hospital. I've lost just over a stone and although i breakdown sometimes because i'm going through a heard shock with what's happened, i have never felt so at peace and happy with myself.
My sister lives in London, and she's coming back for xmas. We were chatting and it came out that i was vegan, she went into full attack, hammering at me saying i always have to be different, there's always something and attacking vegan in so many ways.
I know i'm sensitive but this has deeply upset me. I was feeling so good about things.
does anyone get a hardtime and feel they have to defend being vegan? i don't want to not like someone or feel angry at them;it just makes me upset.

Helly.

Hi Helly! I'm really sorry about your sister; that is so uncalled for. I can really relate to having difficulty defending being vegan. So far no one in my life has been supportive except the people on this website. Unfortunately, I don't have a solution to dealing with those people, because it hurts my feelings a lot and makes me feel generally bad about myself when my family and loved ones give me such a hard time. Since we are venting--I wrote a post a little while ago about how my dad started yelling at me when I gently reminded him I don't eat animal products. He has blatantly told me it is stupid and I am going to ruin my health forever. He keeps buying me animal products. My mom has told me to stop being so stubborn, that I should find another way to rebel against society. She really thinks I'm going through some sort of 22-year-old rebellion phase...do people even do that? My parents will literally make or buy animal products and put them on a plate in front of me. It is so hard, and I get very upset. My boyfriend always pokes fun of what I'm eating and says that later in my life I'll be a walking disaster waiting to happen, and that this is one of the dumber things I've done. We've gotten into so many fights that I'm considering breaking up with him. He's just been so rude when it comes to this, and it's seeping over into other areas. He has major issues with my veganism and told me I was doing it to be "cool." I reminded him that no one in my life thinks it's cool; in fact, it's making me NOT fit in! Ugh, I too, get very upset about these things. Just want to let you know you aren't alone. It can feel really alienating sometimes. Know that there are many people here who support you and are rooting for your recovery! And who take you seriously! I wish you all the best, and I hope you have a happy holiday!!!

thanks sarah. i think you're right and having calmed down; i think next time ) i'll just not rise to it and ignore it, because entering into it just fires it all up. thanks everyone, you've made me feel much better.

Like many other people have mentioned, you are not alone. My husband, while not attacking me, isn't being very supportive. Most other people just look at me like I am an alien. But thats the trouble with people, no one likes change and most of the people in our country have grown up not only eating meat and dairy but hearing from adults/caretackers that you have to eat meat and dairy to be healthy and anything else is bad for you. Wow, that got a little long winded! In short we are all here to support you and I am sorry your sister is being so hard on you.

Hi Helly, I'm sorry to hear you don't have very supportive family members to help you whilst you go through what must be an extremley difficult time, and all you're really trying to do is get better! One way I've found effective, is to start asking the other person why they eat meat/dairy etc. As long as you have all of your decisions/choices backed up (which I'm sure you do), they find it a lot harder to give actual proper reasons for not being vegan. A lot of the time they just say 'because we're meant to', or 'human's have always eaten meat'. Do they always do what they're told, no questions asked? If everyone jumped off a cliff, would they do it to?! There's no shame in being 'different', but a lot of people just can't handle change unfortunately.
Good luck, and I hope you keep strong and do what you want and belive in.

Katy
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