The KInd Life Community Forum

I can't offer an immediate fix-although I am a teacher and love the reward system idea. I teach children with autism and when they eat limited foods we start by having them "give the food a kiss" or just touching it if it is a texture thing. I wanted to comment on this topic though, because growing up my mom used to cry because I wouldn't eat veggies at all and was very picky about other foods. I guess what worked for me was being exposed to the foods I did not like. Even just smelling yummy dishes being made started to spark an interest and slowly I started trying things. My mom can not believe that I am now vegan. Not to discourage--but it did take me a long time to come around and I really didn't start eating any veggies until high school, maybe even early college. I know it has to be so frustrating--hang in there, and I say be sneaky. Just that slight flavor may begin to open her palate to the real deal. Good luck!

hi there,
wow. this is a tough one.
first the fact that she loves to eat rice, couscous, quinoa and pasta(whole grain kind?) is a great thing!!!! those foods are sooo good for her. so she is way ahead of the rest of the kids by eating those foods.
can you not give her the other stuff? the milk ,pop, cheese and stuff like that?
can you make her amys mac and cheese? and dont tell her? can you make her amys pizza and not tell her?
maybe try not to have any stress around the issue....it sounds like there is something else going on either with you and your husband or something she is affected by....there is an amazing woman i would call named ida her # is 818 274 1193. i think she will be very helpful. in finding the best way to deal with this. im so sorry this is happening with you. and i agree that food should not be made into a huge issue with her. food wise id say only provide her with yummie healthy things....and dont have the other bad stuff available for her at all. if she likes pop then she will like other sugary things...i think she is just acting out about something else...or trying to get something out of the two of you. not sure what of course...but i would be very clear in the kitchen with delicious only healthy things....without any stress around it. its just what you have available...she wont starve herself to death i promise you. and in the mean time call ida for support in getting to the root of what is going on here.
good luck and keep us posted

the human nervous system is based on balance. Our sensations are regulated by the chemical stimulation provided by previous sensation. In other words, eating extremely yummy food, makes less palatable food taste disgusting. This might be more true with children because their overall experience is limited by the fact that they have not been alive for a very long time.
Our tastes are designed to seek out foods that are higher in calories. The taste of sweet, fat and protein trump the taste of fiber.
For adults, if we eat a doughnut first thing in the morning, it makes it much more difficult for us to choose healthy foods for the rest of the day. The taste of intense sweet and fat first thing in the morning makes all other normal foods less palatable. The body will tend to want to escalate the process, looking for even more yummy tastes to stimulate the brain towards the happy response we crave.
For our ancestors eating very coarse, plant foods, the drive to select those with higher amounts of calories in the form of carbohydrate, fat and protein, might have made a difference between survival and starvation. For us in the modern world with all of the processed foods available, that drive has been at the root of our modern health epidemics.
in short, eating less is almost always better than eating more. Having only healthy choices available takes away the crying and begging and tendency to want to trade off " eat this now and I'll give you that later", which never works.
I am in no way claiming that I have figured this out, so please don't get that impression. I merely wish to suggest that it is possible our society has created this situation but that we are up to the challenge.
I feel as though the food my children eat may be the single most important factor under my control that will affect their well-being. Since I am not really in control of what they eat, my stress is high.

I agree with a few of the ideas posted.

1) take her to a farmer's market and have a casual conversation about how beautiful and cool and interesting the foods are. don't talk about eating them, talk about smelling and feeling them. the sense of taste will follow naturally on its own. listen to what she thinks about them and try not to react (i know this is hard, our 11 yr old daughter drives me wild sometimes with the same obsession/cravings)
2) you will have to form new habits in your daily conversations. don't react to anything with shock, tweens thrive on shock and are always trying to gain the upper hand and control the situation. you may be in for constant PMS until she finally hits puberty (remember what being 11 was like- ugh)
3) you say she is picky about vitamins too. maybe just let her have the ones that look and taste like gummy bears.a little compromise can go a long way.

our kids really resisted at first to changing over to whole grain foods. and given a choice they will still go for white. but they have adjusted for the most part. some of this will have to be a give and take for a while as you gradually phase out the nasties.
just keep gently involving her in the purchase and prep of good foods and maybe take her to talk to a nutritionist so she can learn what she is doing to her body from a third party. our daughter won't listen to anything i say these days! it may be an uphill climb, but you will both make it intact!
Don't let her steal your peace and joy, find ways to share it with her instead.
xoxoxo
Donna

Thanks everyone so much for the responses, hopefully this will also help my husband lighten up as well! I am happy to report that she did try one new thing, it did have cheese in it but hey I will take what I can get! She has never really liked meat thank goodness but used to LOVE hotdogs and bologna YUCK! I have never really bought that kind of stuff even when we were eating meat. My friend informed me that she made hotdogs yesterday for their dinner when she went ot sleep over and my friend is aware that she used to love hotdogs and thought she still did. My daughter politely said no thankyou and informed her that she is vegetarian! I was so proud!!!

Caren