Lots of good advice. I have been making my husband fruit smoothies with a varity of berries, bananas, agave nectar and almond milk. He has one everyday. This is the only way he will 'eat fruit'. Maybe if the two of you can make this together...worth a shot!
Wow. Well I am late to this thread.. but just want to reiterate what a few of the previous people have said regarding mealtime being a stress and a constant issue... I would try the ease up a bit approach myself. All that attention and emphasis placed on what she will or will not eat has got t be stressful... Having said that - I also agree that preteens are constantly struggling to find their own identity and really do thrive on shocking and getting a rise out of their parents... so maybe the less you let it look like it's bothering you (easier said than done) the less of an issue it will become over time. I've not been much help - but I do wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted!
I have been lucky that we started eating more healthy since my son was two. He doesn't really know that there are things like white bread, soda, non-wheat pasta etc... My mother-in-law once tried to make him a pb&j on white bread and he wouldnt touch it. She of course was offended but I just explained he had never eaten it so he prefers wheat. O the same tone there are things I will make for my husband and I that he doesnt love. I will encourage him to eat at least a few bites. Usually hunger wins out. If you dont give them the naughty items they will NOT let themselves starve. I also use rewards and sometimes bribery.. I will not let him have "desert" if he doesn't eat the majority of his meal. OF course desert in our house is fruits and organic treats but its worth it!.. I know he is only 5 so this could all change but I try not force our lifestyle choice on him. If he likes it he likes it and if he doesnt thats okay too. He still eats meat occasionaly and I of course hope one day he will want to stay away from it all together but I truly believe in the power of letting it be his decision. I was a rebellious child and teen and like another poster on here NEVER at veggies. My whole family is shocked that I am transitioning to Vegan lifestyle! Stick with it and remember that as long as they get most of what they need throughout the week they dont have to eat perfect at every meal!!!
Just thought I would add my opinion but since I dont have tweens I dont have great advice.. Sorry :(
One more word of encouragement! You are doing an amazing job! Even if she isn't eating all the things you think she may need the majority of the things she will eat are FAR better than the average American child/tween/teen eats.. Small steps are what matters!! If 70% of your diet is healthy that is far better than never touching healthy items.. she is on a good path!