The KInd Life Community Forum
Use this space to share stories, exchange ideas, ask questions, and contribute to our growing community!
NO support!!!
Started
by Carla Sloss
on January 26, 2010
Becoming vegan is something I have always wanted to commit to. However now that I'm doing it, I have people barking at me from every corner!! I am totally flying solo on this journey and it makes me sad and lonely. Does anybody else have this problem, and if so, how do you cope??
Carla - I am so sorry you are not getting the support you deserve. Many people like to stay status quo and think that they are have your best interest in mind but often it is really just their lack of understanding. Don't let it get you down, be true to you and everything will work out in the end.
And... you do have lots of support here!
Kim
I am sorry for this Carla. This happened to me when I went vegetarian many years ago, no one seemed to care when I went vegan. Just remind yourself of why you decided to become vegan in the first place. I picture a poor mother dairy cow separated from her baby. Just turn here for support, I wish there was a website like this when I went veg.
Ah Yes, been there... Still there, difference now is there are people having health problems all around me and they are finally thinking "Hmmm, maybe she is on to something?"
Took 10 years to convert my Hubby, and slowly people at work are coming around. I always keep a healthy snack bucket so they can learn that vegetarian/vegan still tastes good. I actually had someone send someone else in to my office to pretend to ask a question so they could have their friend bring them back some, and I quote.."go get something from her strange health bucket" I laughed so hard.
Other family members, well, they just stopped saying anything. I find humor now in the people that don't get it, and try to offer guidance through my actions for others.
Hang in there!!
Oh, and I don't cook meat or have meat in our house. So when people come to visit, they always get a taste of healthy goodness. And I have yet to have someone not ask for seconds.
Most leave asking for the recipe.
i feel the same way. the girls at work (and i work with nurses for god's sake!!) think im crazy.one asked me today if im still "doing that no meat thing" i brought in some tofu for lunch the other day and they were all weirded out. when trhey ask me why im "suddenly" a vegetarian and i tell them that i cant eat animals anymore for ethical reasons they just roll their eyes.
my husband is sweet about it but i know he's really worried that it's going to change our lives, and not for the better. ive only been veg for about 2 1/2 weeks now and i've been making an effort to either cook meatless meals we both already love, or meals that can esily be tofu for me and chicken for him etc. i know he's still freaked out, and wont try any of my tofu/tempeh/veggie burgers etc. i know he's really worried about going out to eat- we usually go out every weekend. we've been so busy lately that it hasnt really come up but i know it will. I know alicia says in her book that going out can be fun and easy, but i dont think she and i go to the same places!!! no one at chilis or applebees or 99 would really be willing to "ask the chef" to change something for me- i dont think there even IS a chef. and now is not the time to convince hubby to try something/somewhere new, he's so freaked out anyway. so im just going to have to make it work. but tonight i was online looking at menus and just getting totally discouraged. all of my favorites are there, and i cant believe i will never have them again.l i feel so bad for the animlas, i do, and thats what has kept me going but i just want those comfort foods, and the ease of mealtimes with my husband :( we've oinly been married for 4 months!!! im starting to wonder if i should go back to flirting...
Krysten, you have a good point. The difference for me is doing this for health reasons. While I don't want to hurt the animals, I was already vegetarian before learning how bad things were. So now I'm more concious about it. But also like the way I feel which keeps me going. Anyway, that is why it is easier for me to not care what people think. I suppose the arguement would be much tougher in your shoes.
Over time, the thought of anything else grosses me out. But when it comes to eating out, even places like Chili's will throw something on the grill for ya. Veggie Fajitas are an easy one. Of course salads. Also check the appetizers. Some times you can choose 4 sides and come up with a filling meal. something good. And sometimes things aren't on the menus.
Like Bonefish Grill for example, I had to go there for work dinner, and was DREADING it. To my surprise, when I ordered a pasta, they asked if I wanted that Vegetarian or Vegan. I about fell out of my chair... A choice? :-)
Enjoy your new wedded bliss. You can have both, I'm sure.... Food you eat at restaurants doesn't make who you are or change who you are. We still go out a LOT. And there were times "I won't lie" where hubby would get frustrated because I wouldn't order anything but salad. And eventually we just stopped going to those places. We now have all our favorites. I have one great food choice at each place I go.
The thing is on this website WE ARE YOUR SUPPORT, if I ever feel down i come on this board and it instantly makes me feel better.
The funniest thing is that my family is Greek and my dad is nearly sixty - have you seen my Big Fat Greek Wedding? You get my drift. It makes me a little emotional to say that they have been behind me 100%, my Grandma even made me vegan stuffed vine leaves and whispered "all this meat and butter it kills you, I don't eat mean for thirty six years."
The girls I live with are awesome - I sort of thought that this would mean they didn't eat all my food. THIS HAS NOT CHANGED. In fact they prefer vegan brownies and the vegan sushi..
My other friends find it odd, only last night they sort of looked at me strangley and were like "well what do you eat?" I had negative reception from two people I used to be friends with. Really horribly negative. I realised that they were not my friends. They were angry that I had started to take control of my life and that it didn't suit them. Guess what - they're out the picture for good!!!
I dread going out too sometimes, I made a point of emailing restaurants and asking them what was vegan. I got responses from some - I live in the UK and then started to google 'vegan restaurants' and it became easier.
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone on this site because it gives me so much inspiration and motivation.
Sorry to hear of the lack of support. I got a similar reaction. I decided to try a vegan diet for a month to see how it went. i am on week 3 and I doubt I will go back. Things that I found helped people accept my choice:
- Making food for them.. then they can actually see you aren't living on lettuce, starving and malnourished
- When people ask what do i eat, how do I do it etc, I tell them about all the good stuff and all the different foods (ethiopian, indian, thai, japanese etc etc) that have lots of vegan options.
- I stopped going to crappy restaurants that wouldn't alter a dish for me. Sometimes it can't be avoided, but usually I have some say in restaurants that I go to. If I absolutely don't, I research ahead of time and plan accordingly.
Stick with it, it will get better. Remember it takes time to develop new habits.
Thanks for all the suggestions and support guys!!
15 Comments