Hi. I need to journal. I cannot lose weight or get more in touch with myself without taking the time write my thoughts and feelings out on paper. I initially thought to use actually paper... but I want to share my thoughts with you and thought it would be kinder to the earth to save the paper! I hope you will share your thoughts with me.
I am excited but honestly scared. I have failed before. I am sick of yo-yo-ing and feel like total crap this morning. I can always tell when my body is mad at me. I don't sleep well, my face is puffy from the garbage I eat in the days prior, and I feel depressed. I procrastinate when it is time to get dressed for a party. I don't want anyone to see me. I am 30 years old and a little heavy. No one would necessarily call me fat but I do have weight to lose. The biggest struggle is that since I am not extremely overweight, others seem to not see that I struggle with finding balance and being healthy. I obsess over food.
Last night I went to a party and stared at the food. Do I eat it? Do I not eat it? I will feel terrible tomorrow (both physically and emotionally guilty).
I am not a big meat eater to begin with but I LOVE CHEESE. Sept and Oct 2009 I stopped eating dairy because my body was out of sync and I was having trouble digesting. The weeks without dairy were a miracle! I felt lighter, brighter, and more focused. I slept so well.
Forgoing dairy, specifically cheese, is going to be extremely difficult for me. I am embarking on a new journey and I know that I can retrain my tastebuds to find delight in real foods. I am excited for soy cheese!
Won't you share your ideas, fear, and excitement with me... let's journal through this journey together! This is your place to vent...
I just started to read The Kind Diet yesterday after it was recommended to me by a friend. I completely understand how you feel. Im 29 and I am by no means overweight, but 85% of the time I feel TERRIBLE. I KNOW its because of what I eat! I encourage you to journal your journey. I lost my husband to cancer 3 years ago and the whole time he was sick, I kept and online journal. It helped me and so many others to identify my feelings and it helps me now to look back and see how far I have come! If you fail, it's OK! Everyday is a new day. I wish you the best!
Yesterday was a days of trials. I made the Peanut Butter Cups from TKL. They were AMAZING! I had my husband try one and he loved it. By dinner time, I had him trying a yummy polenta dish I created. "Wow! This is really great!" was the response I got from him.
I woke this morning feeling better. I didn't sleep well but that will come in time. I did however feel lighter and a bit cleaner. I am excited for the days to come.
I am still concerned about my calcium intake. I am going to have be conscience of this in the weeks to come. I added rice milk and almonds to my breakfast this morning in an effort increase my intake.
Can't wait to indulge on a PB Cup, NSG xoxo
ps. ANYA K: Your story is so inspiring. Thanks for the words of encouragement. "Everyday is a new day" seems simple but was a powerful statement that I will certainly take with me on this journey.
The last two days have been an adventure. I was in meetings at work for these days and there was a table full of cakes, brownies, cheeses, etc. for us to munch on. I didn't feel tempted at all... I packed my own 'kind' lunch. So the challenge was when all my colleagues went out to lunch (and not to have a kind lunch!). Instead I took a drive, stopped, and walked around. I enjoyed the time alone. Yesterday I was so stressed at work that I decided I need some time for myself. I took today off! I needed to recenter. I was so stressed that I knew that binge eating could certainly follow. Last night I had a Kind Life PB Cup and a soy ice cream sandwich. These were my indulges ...but they were certainly in lieu of a binge.
I guess I am struggling with balance. I am trying to find a way to live the kind life without getting overwhelmed. It is hard to transition all that you do in your life but I believe the cliche that baby steps will still render improvement.
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