The KInd Life Community Forum

it does suck, and is very common - they are just uncomfortable - most people seem to respond with derision to those who do not share their every view....I think because in some weird way maybe they equate you not drinking with you judging them and thinking that they are WRONG for drinking, you not eating meat/dairy with you judging them and thinking they are WRONG for eating meat/dairy.
And maybe its possible that people become uncomfortable because they might think that in changing your lifestyle, you also may be considering changing your friends -
if you would have been dancing on the table naked if you WERE drinking, then I agree with your friends - you are boring when you don't drink! but my guess is you were no different then normal - they just felt self-concious and perhaps afraid that the sober you would think the drinking them were acting like idiots!
Give them time to get used to the new (improved!) you - my suggestion would be to not get upset and just deflect their comments with humor and a smile, and when the one jackass in the crowd tries to get you to debate your lifestyle (there is always one!), just come up with a sweet, smart ass, funny comeback delivered with a smile. I refuse to argue or debate my lifestyle choices and have found after a while no one cares what I eat or drink because they don't feel I am judging them or think I"m better (even though I AM....and I DO!!!)

I agree- I can tell you one thing I was suprised to see. I went to college at LSU (ie. drinking capital of the world), was in a sorority, went to every football game, tailgated, etc. My Dad, who is very clever and knows how strong willed, although he calls it "hard-headed", I am bet me that he could 'not drink longer than I could not drink'.... Well, I never seem to pass on a dare or a bet- so I said "your on!". He LOVES his single malt scotch (as everyone in my family does, myself included) so I figured he'd cave in about 15 minutes. Well, 8 years 4 months and 23 days later I lost the bet while laying out on the Beach and decided I was done and really needed a Corona Beer. Long story not-so-short is that the entire time I was in college when my roommate would tell people- "Oh, Ashley can drive home- she's not drinking". No one ever believed her. They all just assumed that based on my being fun and out with them all the time that I did. So now I have tried really hard to reach back to that time and remember that it isn't whether or not I drink, but just how people perceive my attitude about it. Also, I will say in my 30's the "babysitting of the drunks" isn't such an issue as it was when we were all 18-23. THANK GOODNESS! Best of luck & I agree that making the vegan diet or lifestyle as light-hearted & humorous as possible makes everyone much more comfortable. If I can steal from a fellow kindlifer- she said "Don't get me wrong! I will kick a puppy... I just wont eat one!". I can't imagine after the shock wears off that many people will counter that with much else.

Thank you for all of the comments. I think once I get more and more comfortable with my new lifestyle I will be more confident about coming across judgemental people.

I'm going to a family b-day get together where live lobster is on the menu. Personally, seeing them bound and stacked one on top of the other at the store, breaks my heart.

I'm trying not to impose my feelings and beliefs, but how to avoid the strugglings creatures in the vat of ice or fridge, and then the boiling...........I , no doubt, will be taunted. Any suggestions???

Yeah you need a few good one-liners to come to your defense at family functions. Last time I was at one, and they had cooked like 10 lbs of chicken, I just said "no thanks, so more for you guys!"