The KInd Life Community Forum

I have been about 80% vegan, and 95% vegetarian for the past six months. Giving up meat, eggs, and dairy in my day to day life was relatively easy for me, since I never really liked meat to begin with, and I found my dairy cravings went away after a couple weeks of eliminating it from my diet.
The only problem is, I am quite literally the only person in my immediate circle who has ever even considered veganism. I live in a small town in Ontario, where it's just not a common thing. My husband is super supportive, but I'm having a problem "coming out" as a vegan to my friends and family. My parents don't take me seriously at all, and continue serving me their food when I go over to their place which I would feel horrible refusing. They had never even heard the word "vegan" before I brought it up.
And how am I supposed to tell my girlfriends that I can't go to our favorite place for brunch anymore because there are no vegan options? Or am I just supposed to go with them and only drink black coffee? I know it sounds immature and superficial, but I'm so scared to tell them. Because so much of my social life seems to revolve around food, I fear becoming isolated from everyone I love.
Animal rights and sustainability are so important to me - not to mention my own health, but so are these relationships!!! Has anyone else run into this situation? If so, do you have any advice or me???

I like to make a game out of finding a vegan option at every restaurant I go to. There is always something (veggies, beans, wraps with out meat or cheese, etc.) that you can compile into a complete meal. I encourage you to not be afraid of going out with your friends, but embrace it as a new opportunity. You don't even have to tell your friends that you are vegan; they will begin to figure it out the more you hang out together and you confidently order vegan items.

There is a section in TKD that talks about this too that you might consider rereading. Good luck!

I first started doing this about 20 years ago, and due to health reasons had even more restrictions than just not eating meat/dairy - it was not until then that I realized how much of our social life revolves around food! At that time I also stopped drinking for about 6 years (no sugar!!!)nd since january and realized that drinking is the second big social hub! A bar is easy, you can have a club soda and no one even notices unless you call attention to it. Brunch, dinner etc....much harder. I think over time you will just develop such a comfort with this - it will be become not what you do but who you ARE - that you won't feel uncomfortable. I used to bring peanut butter sandwiches with me to group dinners, excuse myself and go into the bathroom or outside and quick eat them and then come back in and pretend to be eating "normal" - that was in my early 20s, no WAY would I do that now! I live in a city so its easy to make sure we all meet at a vegan place, and when I was dating it was always something I would state beforehand and the guys would research to come up with lists of places (very cute! - and a good way to weed out assholes....anyone who dismissed how I ate I dismissed!). At this point with all my friends its just who I am and they don't even notice - again, in a more "metropolitan" area so many of us have different eating habits so its not as big a deal. But my advice is to own it. Take the great suggestion of calling the brunch place and talk to them about what they could do for you - a great salad, a fruit plate, advocado and hummus and grilled veggies etc.....I"m sure they will help you out. And I too agree with "a plant based diet" if you think people are resistant - no one seems to take that as an attack, while "vegan" can call to mind images of people splashing paint on fur coats and your friends may think this means you disapprove of them and their choices and so react more strongly.

I totally agree with Danielle, the other day, I went out with some girlfriends ( not one is vegan) and i called ahead and the chef was delighted to prepare a meal for me. The sous chef actually greeted our table and told me what he was making for me, and 3 of my friends were so intrigued that they ordered the vegan meal as well!! And they're not even vegan!
It was so yummy and we had a great time!

I tend to find that when i dont stress about my friends and just get sooo excited about the healthy things im eating... its contagious and they want what i have.

I know it can be tough...but people are coming around! There are sooo many documentaries out there that are exposing the food industry that people are realizing a vegan diet being a very kind, very healthy thing...

hope this helps.

-jazzy
www.theveganverdict.com

I've had the same issue. I mean, my Dad likes to hunt for god sakes:( I agree with you guys that the plant-based diet term helps a lot. I try to ease my friends in family into my ethical dilema with, "This type of diet is what makes me look and feel my best." If they truly are your friends, who wouldn't want that happiness for you?

Also, I think Sarah M. hit the nail on the head- cook for them! My parents were skeptical of my "fake food" but once I made them some of Alicia's appetizers and desserts they were sold. I also like to bake for my kids at school (I teach) and offer them food first without telling them anything about it. When they exclaim "God this is so good" I then tell them it was made without any animal products. I find that its a nice transition into sharing my lifestyle with them. So many people think that if its healthy, it must be tasteless and boy do I love proving them wrong!