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I am being dragged down by a Carnivore
Started
by Stephanie Wolf
on June 30, 2010
I love food, I use to love meat..when I was a baby I hated meat, love potatoes and fruit..I grew up hating meat for many years on was a vegetarian. But I'm married now. What is men with meat?? I want to do the vegan thing, at least start vegetarian..but he wants meat meals. I am onboard with it because I am new to all this, but I seriously know it would help my journey if I could go at least vegetarian. I feed him Tofututti Sour supreme..which I loved but his response was " You tricked me !". I make as many veggie meals as possible but I can not exclude meat with him. I am on a budget so it would be nice to just cook for a vegan/vegetarian, not a meat eater . Any sugestions without being deceitful?
I make faux meats and sneak it without my boyfriend noticing. I dont know what their obessesion with meat is... my boyfriend loves it because he loves lifting and insists he needs the protein. Whatever. I know this maybe a pain for you, but I will cook the same meal and then just cook some meat up for him. I dont want to push him, if he is going to come around, he will on his own. Fortunately he supports me in my journey because he wants me to be healthy. Work on eliminating one thing at a time with him if you can. Instead of buying oreos, he'll be forced to eat Newman O-s. Not totally healthy, but slow improvements make good for long term changes. Good luck!!
I find most meals it is easy to fix vegetarian/vegan and have meat and dairy on the side for those that want it. My family is omni... It has taken almost a year but now they really don't expect me to fix meat and are surprised when it is there. In fact, I have stopped buying or fixing it pretty much altogether now and they no longer whine about it. I rarely even pack it in their lunches anymore.
My M-I-L comes over almost every weekend and usually wants to fix them something, but even she is starting to really like my food now. (she always did like my cooking, but she resisted the idea of veg food for a while) If I already have something made she does not bother to cook meat now.
All in all I would say that taking it slow and not pushing the issue was the answer. After a few months of cooking meat on the side for them every other night, I cut it back to twice a week, then once a week, it got easier as I learned what they liked and built a new repertoir of recipes.
My hubby, son, and 3yr daughter like faux meats and daiya cheese, but my 12 yr daughter is the drama queen and refuses to eat them. But most of the food I fix she loves and just orders nasty burgers or stuff like that when we eat out once in a while. (it's her little rebellion...)
The thing is my hubby is a big eater and I am as well, Our budget doesn't allow us to do both, I want one way but I know he is not ready to give up the meat, so we can't compromise. I mean I eat less meat in some aspects due to my choice, like tonight I had a 6 inch veggie sub, and him a 6 inch cold cut. I am trying to lose weight as is he, I think I have a gluten intolence and It may throw a curb in all of this :( I am lost right now until I get answers from professionals. I always have loved veggies moreso than meat, but the dairy is a wee problem.
Hi Stephanie,
That must be so hard! Luckily my guy is also a vegan, so we enjoy the same foods.
How about suggesting to him that you begin by having three vegan days, three omnivore days, and one vegetarian day. I'm not sure how he could be resentful about something as fair as that. Gradually he might be won over, or atleast grow to respect your decision.
Maybe if he sees himself as a trendsetter, environmentalist, or cool and compassionate guy when he eats vegan, he will grow to embrace the title. Guys love to be praised and love it when their gal thinks the world of him, so maybe just saying 'thank you' and 'you are so wonderful to try this' will get him invested in the lifestyle.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Beary
Yeah, that is a tough one. My husband is an uber- carnivore and when I went veg*n, I just told him, basically, "Suck it up, Buttercup!" lol He half jokingly/ half seriously complained about it for a long time... actually, he still does (lol), but eventually it became less serious and more of a joke. He has said that he really likes that we eat more veggies and such. He does almost always order something meat- ridden when we go out. I do usually try to sneakily avoid letting him figure out that whatever I've made is vegan until he tries it. He almost always likes it once he's tasted it, but he has some weird preconceived notion about "the sadness of vegan food". lol
So, I guess my advice is... stick to your guns and he'll follow suite. It'll only take a couple of weeks and he'll start feeling better and seeing weight loss and he'll be a lot more on board. I like Beary's suggestion.
Maybe you can make some dishes that could go either way and then you can add your protein at the end and he can add his. My boyfriend and I started doing that with stir fry and pasta. I make a great pasta with artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes, mushrooms and spinach. He would sautee up some chicken separately and I would sautee up some tofu. Eventually, he started eating my tofu (eventually, I think their laziness takes over their desire to eat meat). Also, big salads are another option. I put in all the veggies and then he adds his meat at the end.
My husband is a carnivore and to be blunt, it's his life and his choice so it isn't my business to change him so I still buy meat for him and i still cook most of it for him (except hamburger as the scent makes me ill) ... he will eat some meatless meals but I feel like all I can do is educate him on the issues and such and he has to make the choice.
I like Beary's suggestion about the split up of days, too. Even with that small change, you might both see some weight loss, and he might be encouraged to try more, and Field Roast sausages are sooo good, but I think they might have wheat gluten. Even if you can do three days omni, three veg, and one vegan that would be a start, then maybe it can be switched to three omni, three vegan, and one veg, and go on from there! Just remember that dairy is gonna be the bigger factor in the changes you see.
My husband is a carnivore too (as was I until a few months ago). He is supporting my decision, but half hoping that this "phase" will pass. He does eat some of my vegan food. He loves anything tempeh, including the bombdigity bolognese sauce posted here, the tuna salad from the book, and tempeh "crab" cakes I found on utube from the owner of Seed kitchen. So, he definately eats much less meat now. However, a few times a week I will make him something with meat (ie add some chicken to his salad, or grill him a kebab to go alongside my veg dishes). I do feel conflicted about this. I don't want to buy the meat, but I don't want to force anyone to change to my beliefs either. He needs to make choices for himself. I figure at least I'm reducing his meat intake, and that is a good start.
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