The KInd Life Community Forum

This may be a strange discussion to be posting on the internet, but I am reaching a point of desperation and don't have the resources to seek private help, so I am reaching out to a community that I hope will be supportive and offer a helping hand. I read this blog everyday I have found it to be such a helpful source health education (and enjoyment- thank you Alicia). I have been a healthy vegan for over two years, the person in my group of friends who always gets asked all the questions about what to eat when your sick or when you just want a feel good recipe. But for the past couple months I have been cultivating a very dangerous habit that is wearing on my mental well-being. I can't stop thinking about food and have started binge eating, often coming home from work and eating a bag of chocolate chips (organic vegan ones... but still, not good) and half a jar of peanut butter... staying up for hours moving on from one thing to the next, and I can't stop. Even as I am thinking, "Please stop this, please stop," and thinking, you know this is wrong and unhealthy, so just STOP, I can't. I have never experienced anything like this before. I feel so powerless. It seems so simple, but I try so hard, but there is a part of me that doesn't want to stop, that wants to see how far I can push it. To my friends and family, I seem fine, meaning, I am naturally thin and happy, but no one knows what I am doing at night. And I am starting to see myself gaining weight and breaking out ( of course I would be, with the sheer amount of sugar and fat I am consuming). This seems so trivial in the grand scheme of things, but I feel so awful and overwhelmed by this problem. Am I alone in this? Has anyone on this site dealt with this? Am I ridiculous? I want to stop so I can focus on being a positive force in the world, but food, something I used to be able to enjoy, has become an obsession. Any advice or support would be so appreciated...

part 2...

You also may be binge eating for loss of control. Binge eaters often feel like they have been depriving themselves of things in life in other ways, controlling everything just so, and they finally need to release the tension so they overeat--feeling the need to lose control. Binge eating is often a result of food deprivation. I am not sure if this is your case but look at your diet overall. Have you become so strict with your vegan diet that you are feeling deprived? Are you a calorie counter? I am not telling you to give up your vegan diet, because it is the healthiest decision a person can make for their body. With that said-- a bag of vegan chocolate chips is not healthy for anyone. Period.

I can't give you a solution to your problem but I can say there are many support groups out there for compulsive eaters. The first step is admitting you have a problem, but now you need to try and deal with it. Honestly weight watchers is a great program for compulsive eaters because it assigns points to food items and you can only allow yourself so many points a day. There are local meetings in almost any city. You can alter your weight watcher program to be Vegan as well. Feel free to contact me with any additional questions, I don't want to babble on this thread for too much longer. Stay strong :)

Here is my story: http://lovesveggies.blogspot.com/p/my-vegetarian-journey.html

Well said ladies! It looks like you might be able to gain a lot of support and encouragement through this very forum! :)

I'm so glad to hear you have the support of your roommate SMY! Keep in touch and let us know when you need support. My anorexia was over two decades ago, but I remember it so well. I am always glad to talk about recovering from an eating disorder. There is so much shame and secrecy involved that people tend to suffer alone, and that just isn't good!

Honestly, you will recover from this, and you will learn so much about yourself and life in the process, that you will forever be changed for the better.

I just wanted to add a note to this thread. A while back, I had a similar problem with compulsive eating. I thought I had an eating disorder and sought help for that, however at a certain point I began to realize that I was having constant gnawing abdominal pain that filled me with anxiety and drove me to eat. It wasn't an obvious kind of pain; it felt like I was really, really hungry all the time. I went back to an applied kinesiologist who I'd seen in the past and who does work with muscle testing and supplements and she put me on a digestive enzyme supplement. The next day my pain and my desire to eat were 80% gone and within a couple of weeks it was 100% gone. I still take enzymes and see the same doctor I was seeing. There are lots of good digestive enzyme supplements on the market. You might consider trying one just to see what happens or find an applied kinesiologist who's been well reviewed on the internet. Nowadays, when I start feeling anxious and craving sugar (this might sound weird, but it really works for me) I squeeze a whole lemon into a tall glass though a strainer then add 1/2 teaspoon of Bob's Red Mill baking soda (you can use Arm & Hammer but the Bob's is way better and less salty) to the lemon juice. Wait for the whole mixture to bubble up and stop fizzing--it will bubble to the top of the glass, use your finger to pop the bubbles--then add 1/2 cup or a little more of good water and drink on an empty stomach. That part is really important. Wait an hour before eating again. For the lemon, you can substitute a lime or two tablespoons of raw with-the-mother apple cider vinegar (I use Bragg's). From what I understand, this concoction alkalizes your system. It really helps me stave off the desire to eat compulsively.