The KInd Life Community Forum

My really close friend and I just went to Mexico for a week (cancun). The choices were OK for vegans there, but I did cheat occasionally when there was NOTHING for me to eat. I accidentally ate a tablespoon or 2 of chicken broth, and being vegan for 2 years and not having meat for almost 3, I have been a little sick the past few days.

My friend constantly says that she "doesn't get the dairy thing" and no matter how in depth I get about the factory farming, animals, and of course all the health reasons, she basically says that she doesn't want to miss out on life. She constantly talks about food, mexican food her family makes especially. But when I talk about why I choose to not eat meat and dairy, she says "its just food, chill out." Just food. Just what people starting from cavemen have relied on to live. What we rely on to live. What fuels us, determines how we live, and when we'll die. We are what we eat, right?

Keep in mind, she is very petite, never exercises, eats whatever she wants, and is 1/2 mexican. She says that she will NEVER in 1000000 years become vegetarian/vegan. Also, we are both 14.

At the airport today, she got a wendy's hamburger, which doesn't usually bother me at all when people eat meat around me. I can usually ignore people eating meat/fast food, I've never been one of those really fussy vegans who freak if someone is eating chicken that is sitting next to them. But I felt really angry at her for some reason, don't know if it was the stress of being at the airport, sleepieness...whatever. I was pissed.

I'm not trying to convert her to vegetarianism, but how do I explain to her why I do it and not make her feel bad about eating meat? Or, to other people in general, how do I explain my ethics without insulting them? Thanks!

I really don't like it when people shine a big light on my vegan eating habits. They can be rude and ignorant and make me very uncomfortable. So, for that reason, I don't comment on omni eating habits. If I am asked a direct question, or feel like someone is genuinely interested in making this change, then I am happy to share information. Its a shame your best friend doesn't share your passion for veganism. But unfortunately, neither does most of the population. So just keep on doing what you know in your heart to be right. Maybe your good habits will plant a seed in her brain,...maybe not. Either way, you can be proud of your behaviours.

All the best to you. I wish I had discovered this way of life at 14. Keep your head up.

I'm curious as to what her being 1/2 Mexican has to do with anything. I'm 1/2 Mexican and vegan...so what?

Everyone, thanks for the comments.

@Dolores, I didn't mean that I was really disgusted by her for eating wendys, it is her life and food choices. I think it was because I was having a bad day, it was at the airport and I hadn't slept much, etc. But I'm vegan, and its kind of a given that I'd be annoyed if someone ate fast food in front of me, just because of how I'm used to living. But I usually never say anything to omnivores.

@Dani A, I mentioned that because her family (in mexico) has always cooked with a lot of cheese, milk, and meat. She thinks of food as fun, as well as a comfort. So do I, but we think in different ways. To her that is cultural, and if she gave that up it would be like missing out. I, being Greek, find that just because I miss out on Lamb, mousaka, spanikopita, its not really missing out because I'm living how I want to live. She doesn't really enjoy cooking and she brought up the point that being vegan is 'fitting' for me because I like cooking so much. She says that for her, having her family cook traditional mexican meals, and also being able to have tacos and tortas on the streets of mexico is very important and she wouldn't be willing to give it up for anything.

I know everyone's telling you to let it go, but maybe you were just venting, and in that case I say, vent away! Some peopl can let stuff roll off their backs, others need to vent to feel better. If you're a venter, then do it, it's healthier than holding it in. On to your friend . . .

It sounds like either you both talk a lot about food, or she talks a lot about it (from your point of view). Either way, unless you're better after venting, it may be time for a conversation. Something like mentioning to her that both of your food choices are important to each of you, but maybe it's time to agree to disagree, because you're just never gonna agree and it's time to let it go before one of you gets too upset about hearing about it from the other. If it's her constantly talking about her family's food, as you say, then it may be time to gently ask if she could not mention it so much, as you find it upsetting. She may be talking about it a lot without realizing it, or you may be extra senstitive - so think about it.

Finally, I will say something that's unpopular, but somewhat along the line of Michael Pollan and sustainable eating. I actually don't think that everyone's food choice is personal; not when we live in a world where it has ever- increasing local and global consequences. People's choices are making them ill, causing increases in healthcare that we all pay for; and people's food choices are leading to environmental degradation, again, which we all pay for. So in a sense, no, the decision of people to get in that line at fast food joints isn't personal and all up to them, not when the aggregate effect is impacting our entire country and not just leading to their own death. However, getting in their faces about it won't help, so I don't, but I do what I can without being totally hands-off, it's up to them, and all that.