I have been vegan for a year now and lately I've noticed that two of my closest friends ( they are married ) don't invite me as much as they used to. Anytime I've been invited in the past, my friend always says that she feels uncomfortable because I don't eat "anything" so I always insist that I can bring my own food and it's all good but that makes her feel worse for some reason and I always get rude comments about whatever I have bought with me. I used to also be invited to all their BBQ's and I would bring my veggie dogs but this year they have had a BBQ every second to third weekend and I have not been invited. I feel like I am losing my friends just because I have chosen to be different. I'd like to talk to them about it but I am afraid I would just get angry and say something mean and lose them altogether. Does anyone have any advice?
Yes I feel you, my diet has broken up a couple friendships but luckily one of them reached out recently. Hopefully yours will come back too. I think once they get over the fact you changed they'll start asking for you again. It's only a matter of time. If not, then you're better off without them bc they were not really friends.
I have also lost two of my girlfriends as they refer to me as a hippy - because I am vegan and will not buy anything unless we absolutely need it. At times it is rather isolating, but I think when people actually do their research they will begin to realise that being vegan is good for the environment and our health - at least this is what i am hoping.
If your friends are going to stop being your friends just because of what you eat, they weren't very good friends in the first place. One of the core values of any relationship is respect, and it seems that that is lacking here. When people don't understand something they tend to not respect it. I would ask your friends what's up and, in a polite and non-condescending way, educate them to your decision. I consider my diet, and my choices to go vegetarian and now vegan, deeply personal. While some hard-core activists may disagree, I do not choose to force my views/ways down other people's throats. I am more than happy to discuss and educate people about my choices, but it is a CHOICE, and one I made for myself. Honestly, your friends could even be jealous; I mean think of the strength it takes to stand up for ANYTHING, and the willpower it takes to be vegan. The noticeable benefits alone (weight loss, better skin, etc.) probably are making them green with envy. Just like you're choosing to love animals and the earth you have to love yourself most. If your friends are going to choose to throw away your relationship or become distant over something as trivial as a diet change which was made to better yourself and the environment it's not worth it. If they're true friends they will come around, and if not, as harsh as this may sound, you will make new friends.
I agree with the above responses. If a friendship can be broken by something as simple and insignificant as what you choose to eat, it doesn't seem like the friendship was very strong in the first place. None of my friends cared. Some of them made fun of me and teased me, but we've always made cracks at each other.
Have you thought of being a hostess for these same people? Invite them over, tell them they are not to bring any food and you supply everything that is amazing and vegan. If after that they still won't re-include you, it's time to say goodbye.
Hello. It has been my experience throughout life that when people get to know us over time, we become "set" as a certain way and people around us grow comfortable with that, so when any kind of change happens (and becoming Vegan is a huge change), it is frightening/threatening to those that had us pidgeon-holed (we need a new and better word for that) in a way they felt relaxed with. Ultimately, I agree with others who have posted responses that you should try to communicate and be open with your friends, but if they simply pull away and continue to do so, then that isn't really friendship, is it. I have lost 1 friend already to my new lifestyle, but I think that there were other issues between us that my becoming Vegan tended to shine a light on. I wish you well. And I think offering to bring a dish that everyone can enjoy (maybe even BBQ-seitan) to the barbecue (if you can get yourself invited to it once again) would be great way to start. At least you will know you did all you could do. Take care and good luck.