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Being Vegetarian when your partner isn't?

Being Vegetarian when your partner isn't?

Started by Louise Robyn on July 8, 2011

21 Comments

Christina Turner said #11 Jul 31, 2011 at 5:39am

I told my husband I was becoming vegetarian, but he didn't have to change. He does eat meat but does support me. We actually talked about the foods I eat, and he said he would love to eat them too, but he has a very sensitive stomach (water can give him heart burn lol). I cook for my family, and when I make a big vegetarian/vegan dish I just save the left overs for another meal.

Robyn said #12 Jul 31, 2011 at 8:06am

I am vegetarian - trying very hard to be vegan - and my husband definitely is not. He has tried it a few times but has some health issues that make it very hard for him. He is the main cook, and is very supportive of my choices.

I find that we BOTH have to be accomodating. He is always willing to make two things (tacos are a great idea because he can just do meat in one pan and temp in the other, etc.) and sometimes we have a "big" meal together - like baked ziti - and he'll put something for himself on the side. I saw we are both accomodating because I need to be respectful of his choices, too. As nice as it would be if we were both eating the same things, it's not fair of me to tell him how disgusting his meal looks, or to get upset if the knife he used on his chicken came too close to my broccoli.

Anothing thing we do is to cook together. We joke that a "family that cooks together is happy together." It is super fun to hang out in the kitchen together each making our own meals, then sitting down together to enjoy them. Obviously, this isn't an every day thing. We both work full time and I am in grad school, but we try to make it happen at least once a week.

Good luck!!!

Marie said #13 Aug 2, 2011 at 8:00am

This is a good topic, and a tricky one. I've found that we both have to support one another. My husband eats meat but will happily go vegetarian a few nights a week without giving it much attention.

I'll often make some of our favorites like frittata's with veggies or pasta with pesto or stir fry. On other nights, I'll have a black bean burger and he'll have a burger. We keep the sides the same-brown rice, quinoa, veggies. We do a taco night. I do lentils and he does chicken. All the sides again are the same.

I've found we can still enjoy the meals we both love with a few substitutions. Be patient. It takes time. I agree that people have to do what is right for them and maybe they will come around little by little in their own time. My husband is not a reader, but we did watch Food Inc. together. I believe this left a big impression on him and we talked about it for days to follow. I think you have to voice your opinion, but be respectful, and know in the end that food is a personal choice.

Chloe said #14 Aug 2, 2011 at 8:23am

That is a tricky one.

I've not been in a relationship like that,

where I became vegan and the other was not.

I often feel energetically not attracted to carnivories,of course there could be other things about them and that's just there.

though I do have cats, and cook chicken/fish for them.

I think in this case the most important thing is that if you really really love each other, it will sort itself out.

If there's a lot of tension that could high light something else other than the meat issue. Maybe bravely look into that.

With Kids, being really careful about getting the right nutrients, b 12, calcium things like that, when I first when vegan as a teen I got really unhealthy, I didn't know about all of everything of course, more emotional reason to become, got rail thin. yet vegan diets can really be the healthiest for some. I would get blood tests done to see if they have the right levels of everything before over supplementing, but a few daily things and adequate protein, lots of greens, whole grains, they may live to be very very old people. (I often suggest Vitaminineral Green- has a lot in one- even probiotics- just talk to doctor too, think its ok for kids &, Garden of Life Raw Meal protein, B 12- iron for the girls esp).. the protein is great for sensitive stomachs, people really vary there, i'm super sensitive, and can't eat meat a doctor said, so go figure, some say they need to, or course some vegan foods like broccoli, beans, maybe cabbage, the heavy roots, wheat, some nuts and seeds that could upset anyone, soaked seeds can be ok, well cooked kale or softened raw- kale is good for G.I. issues- look at Ayurveda and Chinese Medicine books, they get into the details of what foods are good for what, healing foods

Time is a good thing, and letting them come to their own conclusion.

best wishes!

Heather Gibson said #15 Aug 14, 2011 at 10:07am

I am vegetarian and my boyfriend of over 3 years is not. It DEFINITELY gets challenging. I wasn't vegetarian when we first got together, but I am now, and sometimes, dinner plans can get very annoying and very tense. It's always way easier when he has to work at night and then I get dinner to myself to make a good decision. When he's home, he always wants something that involves meat and of course, cheeeesseeeee. But I love him, and although I get stressed out about it, I am doing what is best and healthiest for my body, and ultimately he supports that. It is hard though!

Esperanza D said #16 Aug 14, 2011 at 5:00pm

When my parents cook for me, it's quite simple. They just put my portion aside before adding the meat.

Debs said #17 Aug 23, 2011 at 8:44am

My husband eats meat, but when I went vegan (primarily for health reasons) at the beginning of the year, I told him plainly I wasn't going to eat or cook animal products anymore (reason being: "I refuse to feed you food if I believe it to be too bad for myself to eat. I want you just as healthy as I am.") I told him I would happily cook enough food for both of us (although we used to share cooking depending on who got home first that evening), but that he was more than welcome to cook his own meat if he wished to add it to the meal. He first said he was definitely going to cook his own food, but when the time came to cook, he either got a little lazy or my food didn't look so bad, b/c he never actually did!! We actually had to give away the leftover meat we had in the freezer after a while as I was scared it would get freezer-burned from sitting there for so long... He found meat substitutes he liked, and I regularly add those to his plate (I don't really like them...) I consult him every week when planning meals and make sure I include of couple of his favourite dishes, and try and keep the "healthy stuff" he doesn't like (quinoa, lentils) for my lunches. We're completely vegan at home, but hubby still eats whatever he wants when we eat out or at lunchtime. He's reaped tons of benefits from it, and I've even seen him order vegan at omni restaurants...

Tajna Zaninovic said #18 Aug 23, 2011 at 10:23pm

It was really hard for me when my ex was still eating meat..however he didn't eat it frequently,so consequently he would be really sick for the whole evening after getting a free hamburger from his work for dinner. The smell of the bathroom..UGH!

Janet Vandenabeele said #19 Sep 15, 2011 at 9:45am

I am the house chef 90% of the time. I just make two meals. On stir fry nights, I have always stir fried the meat and veggies separately anyway, so that makes it easy enough. I just pull my veggies out before adding the meat back to the pan, and add a meat replacer for mine if I am going to (tempeh, soy curls, etc...)

My husband has recently come to realize he cannot and should not eat as much meat as he used to, which, believe me, is a wondrous thing. My adult disabled son lives at home, too (he is the secondary cook for when I am not home) and he has accepted my becoming vegan easily. I have long gotten them used to starches having veggies in them (even things like mac& cheese, which we rarely ate anyway) and transitioning to whole grain pastas, real potatoes with skins, meat-bean mixes, etc.

So your significant others might not be going as far as you, but perhaps your lifestyle and dietary changes can affect them still in a positive direction, and make you feel a little less like you're doing this all alone.

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