Around Jan 2011, my boyfriend started getting pain in the lymph nodes in his chest & put on 15-20 lbs, both due to some "mysterious" health problem (for which we haven't found a [modern-medical] explanation). Recently, he's developed pain in his groin (in the lymph node?) that shoots up to his lower right abdomen. He will not get it checked out, despite pushing from myself & his dad (who is a medical doctor). He is lethargic & frustrated with himself & his body.
I've tried in the past to get him to eat healthier. Before I went veg, I made dinner for both of us every night. After, I pushed him to eat brown rice, more veggies, etc. He did for a little while but then resisted. I recently stopped pushing to see if that would make a difference, but he hasn't eaten a single vegetable in almost 2 weeks. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to get really worried about him. His whole family is overweight, his mother has diabetes & recently developed IBS. He's scared of the same "fate," but has NO desire to change his eating habits. If I push him too hard it'll be a huge meltdown; if I don't push at all nothing will change. I've seen other posts on this issue but am still at a loss. His health really concerns me - both now & in the future. I don't want him to deteriorate & "have to" take care of him - I want to enjoy life with him well into our old ages. Any advice??
I'm new here but I can kinda relate to him. People don't always change into who we so overwhelmingly WANT them to be. He won't be pushed, he is an adult. No amount of wanting something to happen (or not happen) will work. Until it clicks, until he sees it and feels it and makes the change on his terms, everything YOU do is just static.
Why did you stop cooking for both of you once your diet changed? Before my husband met me he used to rip open boxes, add water and that was dinner. That's not how I cook or eat, and I quickly got him to embrace the un-processed food world and he's actually a big guido 'foodie' now!!
If it was my man, I would take his favorite non-veg meal/s and flip it into veg either all at once or with slow changes. I've started to do this with curries, stir frys, pasta dishes, pizza, and breakfast. It's VERY rough-but we are off red meat, Splenda, and naughty junk food favorites full of saturated fat so far... and white meat is next.
Lisa - You've got a good point.. If I were in his shoes I don't know if I'd take pushing from someone else. I stopped cooking for him because, no matter what I made, he only ate what he liked: he picked out the veggies, only ate half the brown rice (won't eat other grains), but cleaned the plate of all meat. It got really frustrating, because of all the effort that goes into cooking! Now I try to encourage him to cook with me, but when he does, without fail, I'm in charge of making any/all veggies or grains, and he cooks whatever meat he's having.. and nothing else. And, again, he only eats bits of the good stuff here and there. I've tried "altering" his favorite meals, but he'd rather throw out the food than eat something different than what he's used to - even when I don't tell him I've changed it. I'm excited for the changes your husband has made - that's great! I hope they continue! It sounds like he's open to trying new things. Unfortunately though, my boyfriend only likes a handful of foods, and pretty much flat-out refuses to eat anything else.
powerlifer - I hadn't thought of that. He does get very "disgusted" with himself from time to time.. And it's happening more and more often lately. What is "rebounding?" He finally decided to call a doctor (eventually), so hopefully we'll know what's going on soon.
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