Greetings. I just joined this site, and it seems like a wonderful community. I hope that I might be able to find some much needed support.
I'm staying with my boyfriend's family for Thanksgiving and, as of this past Friday, November 18th, it also hunting season. His family is a group of avid hunters, even his 6 year old niece plays hunter buy running on all 4s and having a family member pretend to shoot her... Yeah, that part is always really awkward and creepy for me. Anyway, Friday they had a hunting party where friends came over and shared hunting stories. Again awkward for me. Friday night I didn't sleep a wink with knots in my stomaching thinking about what he'd be doing the next morning. All day Saturday everytime I heard a shot outside my stomach would clench and I'd feel sick. I can't stop picturing what might be happening.
Anyway, in my sleep deprived and semi-emotional state I know I've been very hard on him. I don't want to be "that girfriend." He's free to make his own choices, but the fact that I'm all alone in my beliefs out here is getting to me. I'm left alone while everyone goes out to hunt, they come back and I can't participate in conversations because it's all hunting.
I keep taking out my disappointment of being so alone on him, telling him what they all are doing is wrong and it's sick that they celebrate it. They should feel bad that they enjoy it. I know, I'm in the wrong for doing it but I think I'm being defensive due to the isolation I'm feeling.
Also, the other night I heard his dad praising a friend of their's daughter (around my boyfriend's age) for killing a large buck. He went on and on. He barely talks to me. So I feel almost a kind of pressure for acceptance to consider going hunting. Plus... how can I be against what I haven't experienced? I hate feeling this way. Any advice?
Thanks for the post. I don't have any experience of your particular kind but of course I can understand the conflict you may be feeling, between loving your boyfriend and not loving the hunting. It will pass soon and you'll be back to your home and normal life where you'll get enough sleep and have some emotional distance from this.
I just wanted to say hi and sending you big hugs. You're not alone. Mon.
My heart goes out to you and the conflict you must be feeling. In my experience, guys who are hunters have a deeper respect for nature and the environment than people who are just completely removed from it... but that still doensn't change the fact that you are out there watching people celebrate ending creature's lives. And trying show people that it is possible to live happy, wonderful lives without killing anything.
It must be so hard. Maybe get a good book, read the day away... try to get through the days without stepping on too many toes so you can go back to your comfort zone.
I have never tried hunting either, but I wouldn't do it, just like I've never eaten duck and have no desire to!
Wondering how this worked out for you? If it were me, I wouldn't stay there when they are hunting. I would rather stay at home alone or visit my own family. Your boyfriend should be able to respect that this goes against what you believe, so do what's right for you and ignore any pressure to conform.
hi! I'm so sorry you went through that!! It sounds awful!! I don't know how long you have been together but it sounds like there are some serious questions you must ask yourself. Espiecally if you stay together and get married-have children. It is my expierience that when there is such a complete different view on something so strong it will cause big problems down the line. will you let your child hunt? Or be o.k. when he does? For me that would be a deal breaker. I guess you have to ask yourself what you can live with and what is too much. Best of luck to you!!!
I also wanted to say- changing your values for someones acceptence is always the wrong reason for doing something! I could never kill another bieng and watch it take its last breath and ever be o.k. with myself again. But that is me. If they can't accept you for you and respect your feelings then who needs them?? Your boyfriend should respect you more and defend you and also realize what this is doing to you and not put you in this situation. I agree with Kristy, I would not go when they were hunting. And don't worry about the girl the dad talked to so much. Hunters and vegans-equals conflict. They don't want to be told or reminded that what there doing is not right and unneccesary. Your a threat. Peace!!!
There are a couple other posts on hunting on this forum. Just search "Hunting". Lots of good advice.
I applaude you for going with your husband to be with his family while they were doing something that you are against. It shows that you are committed to the relationship. I would hope that he could do the same for you. This is something you may have to hear about many times in the future, you may need to grow a really thick "skin". I hope that his family has other good qualities that make it easier for you to look past this part of them. When you marry this person you will be making his family your family.
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