The KInd Life Community Forum

Watched 'Forks Over Knives' yesterday and was blown away. I mean I've seen documentaries about the food industry before but this really took it to a whole new level. I personally can see why each and every person should transition to a vegan lifestyle but getting others to think that way is often easier said than done. My husband is like so many other men in this country (excluding those that are on here of course) that believe meat is an absolute necessity because it's good for you and it provides protein. Ugh, that statement makes me want to scream every time I hear it! Needless to say, my hubby is the epitome of one of those men. He is pretty closed-minded about this stuff and I couldn't pay him to watch something like FOK. I also have a 9-year old daughter who is a bit more open-minded but still thinks mommy is a little crazy for wanting to completely remove meat and dairy from the house. Anyway, I'm just curious how others have gotten through to their husband/wife/kids? I know a lot of people on here have said that they transitioned alone and then their family eventually started to follow suite and if not they just continued making separate meals. I really don't want to do this. I truly feel my husband, my daughter and I need to switch to a vegan lifestyle. I recently lost my grandma to cancer, 5 years before that my grandpa (same side) and now 2 weeks ago my aunt found out she too has cancer (again, same side of family). My husband lost his grandpa to it and his mom is a breast cancer survivor. When watching FOK, they said only a small percentage cancer is actually caused by genes and the rest is 100% diet. 100% DIET!!!!!!! That is beyond insane!!!!

With that said, where do I even start?? My husband has to do things on his own terms (and sometimes he even needs to think it was his idea) or it's not going to work. Me preaching to him is only going to push him farther away. Yes, I do all the cooking but I'm not sure that's the answer either. I need something far more eye-opening that will make him see that this really needs to happen!! Thoughts???? Personal experiences??? Suggestions???

Ok im not a Vegan, I do buy organic cheese...someone has to support the happy cows...

My tip....start making great food...have it around as options, his senses will lead him too devour it without question, leave the issues away and let him self discover through love and kindness and great food, he wont know what it is maybe wont care as long as he is fed and loved he will follow without forcing a stance on him...worked for me 35 years ago :)

You said it yourself: "My husband has to do things on his own terms or it's not going to work."

Speaking as a vegan who has a carnivore hubby myself (in 5 years, he has not become vegan nor even vegetarian!), the short answer is, you can't. It's like telling someone they need to lose weight or stop smoking--THEY have to initiate change in themselves. Your best bet is to embrace veganism yourself and look for ways to integrate it with your family's omni-eating habits. If your goal is to change other people's eating habits, you are likely to encounter both resistance and resentment. A more manageable goal is respectful co-existence, and your role in that could be to lead by gentle example.

One way that I found worked with my family is that I conceived of veganism as a way of expanding their existing diets--not replacing things they already ate, but adding to the culinary repertoire. I agree that cooking good things is your best weapon. I suggest starting with recipes that are more "accidentally vegan" than veganizing comfort foods using soy replacements. Initially, my family would balk at tempeh bacon BLTs and cashew-cheese nachos, but a lentil soup, a bowl of udon, sauteed kale, a yummy pasta--those they could accept. From there, I slowly introduced the "specialty stuff" and how, while they still don't think vegan mac 'n cheese is the same as the original, they like it as something different. But it's a slow process and for some, coconut ice-cream will just never do. Explore vegan as a new cuisine together and expect that it may end up that you will be vegan and your family "veganish." There are also, by the way, a lot of vegan dishes to which animal protein and dairy can be added at the very end--that way, they can eat what they want and you can eat what you want.

I totally have the same problem, and people tell me I need to make him meat to make him happy and he used to eat what I made but for some reason he doesn't like my cooking anymore. I know his family members tell him he needs meat all the time so it totally undermines me. I'm amazed at how people get so angry when you tell them you don't eat meat!

Also ... was just thinking and this might not apply to you but at the beginning of this year I was told to keep clear of gluten too as they were wondering if I had an allergy, I had all the tests and wasn't celiac or anything but they thought perhaps an allergy. My natropath said that there is much more gluten in our foods now than there use to be so it probably does make sense to limit it a little for us all but I actually found that when I went vegan, all my digestive problems have just about gone away ... I am so much better and the reason was more my diet overall than gluten. So although I still will probably buy the gluten free pasta etc, I don't worry so much as now I'm vegan it's all so much better.