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Frustrated!
Started
by Vegetgirl
on May 10, 2012
I've been vegan for two years and I'm really starting to get tired of explaining myself over and over and over to the SAME people that I don't eat meat,eggs or dairy! My daughters nana has us over to dinner for special occasions (Christmas, Birthdays, and so on). I bring my own food but she always insists on making something as well and this time she wants to make a cake. She has a vegan recipe for one and thats fine, I totally appriciate her efforts BUT last time she made icing with egg whites and insisted it was vegan! huh? And this time she called and asked what she could use to make the icing so I told her and she said all she had was margerine with whey powder in it...not vegan. I offered to bring some of my earth balance and help make the icing but she thinks that's ridiculous. She says if she didn't say anything we wouldn't even know the difference.That's right, we wouildn't, by why would she be so disrespectful?? She makes me feel like I'm a pest. Just ugh! Just needed to vent!
I'm right there with you. My Mother-in-law just doesn't get it either. I have not consumed meat for almost a year now (I'm working on the dairy thing) and it's pretty much widely known in my family. But for some reason, dear MIL seems to conveniently forget. She's Italian, and once a month will make a huge batch of sauce complete with meatballs and sausage (I feel gaggy even thinking about it) which she gives everyone in the family a few jars of. My husband and I have declined, but she still brings it over!! I tell her please, don't bother; not only do I not enjoy being wasteful, but seriously I don't want the remnants of terror, pain and suffering in my fridge. But the real kicker, is when she says "Well, what if you just pick out the meat, and use the sauce over your whatever-it-is that you people eat?"
Seriously? "you people"?
And only use just the sauce?
So, I know how you feel.
Mmm nothing like sauce with meat grease in it. sigh, I'm sorry you experience that kind of treatment. Veganism is becoming so much more mainstream, Bill Clinton is vegan now for petes sake. People need to crawl out from under the rocks they've been hiding under and get educated! Or at least be respectful of our choices.
The thing is,you cannot force people to be like you,educated themselves like you,that is the wrong attitude.Be patient and loving,tell them how great you feel,how it makes all of you happy,and they will respond with happiness when they are ready to.
And those are not intentional mistakes ,like with the eggs.Honestly a lot of people do not do the research and awareness that we do.And they may become US someday too.So just take a deep breath,and appreciate any effort they are making! :-)
Lots of hugs!
I have a question: Why no eggs? Is it a feeling of disgust? If there is no fertilization taking place no life experience harm.
And I like your positive attitude @ Tajna. Am totally with you.
Amadeus--vegans don't consume eggs for the same reason they don't consume dairy..the mass slaughter of industry by-products. In the egg industry only the hens are valuable which leads to the killing of all unneeded male chicks. Have you ever seen the photos of live chicks on conveyor belts being dumped into grinders or live chicks just tossed into trash bags to suffocate? And what about the hens that are no longer producing and are thus not profitable? It is certainly not a harmless industry just because the flesh is not on the plate. In fact, it is believed that more animals are killed in the egg and dairy industry than in the meat industry.
And to respond to the original poster, when I am dealing with people like you mentioned you don't get it.. I usually just tell them I am allergic to milk, eggs and meat and that my doctor has advised me to stay away from these foods. People are usually more understanding when there is a medical concern involved and will go to greater lengths to take care of you than they would if they assume that this is just your "preference" or that you are being silly or difficult.
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