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Living with a Carnivore
Started
by C.R.
on August 21, 2012
Hi, I'm sure I'm not the only one dealing with this, but this is my story: I'm a long time vegetarian that recently made the step to going vegan (it was really hard for me to give up eggs, breakfast just doesn't seem the same) but my husband is all about meat. He totally supports me and likes what I cook, but he's also been known eat an entire package of bacon at once. He's aware of the health risks, and somewhat aware of the sick practices of the meat industry, but he soon is back to his old ways. I don't want to nag him, I know that is not the way to sway somebodies opinion. I'm hoping that leading by example with work...but it hasn't done much so far. Any tips? Thanks for reading.
There are two sides to this: one side is the praxis of motivating a man to do anything. ___ If you think that the way to motivate him is to say, "Look, it's so easy", you're dead wrong. ___ A better approach is to present it as a challenge, or as if it were training to climb a mountain, or any other sport: "Yeah, it's tough… why aren't you tough enough?" ___ I don't think that nagging has anything to do with this: if you pretend that it's easy, he'll be angry and disappointed when it isn't. If you pretend that you aren't placing a demand for him to do something difficult, obviously he'll feel resented and cheated when he finds out that the exact opposite is exactly the case. ___ Do not try to motivate him by saying, "Don't you know how this makes me feel?" An army general does not motivate soldiers to climb up and down a hill carrying sandbags by saying, "If you do a bad job, think about how much that will hurt my feelings!" ___ Men don't get motivated to train for a sport (or the army, etc.) by being told, "This is so easy! You'll love it once you get used to it!" It is much more effective to motivate a man by being honest and direct about what the challenges are, why he should do it, and what the consequences will be for success or failure. The bottom line is, "Yeah, this is a tough situation, but either you're tough enough or you aren't." If he isn't, it probably will mean the end of your marriage, or at least a shift to some kind of separation, eventually.
Just about everyone on this site is dealing with just about the same thing. Don't worry about it and don't let it stress you out. I agree that the nagging is not the best approach.
Try tofu and tumeric in place of the eggs in a scramble. I know there are some really great recipes here.
There are 2 different vegan bacon products that I love, but my husband hates. My daughter (vegetarian) loves and my son (omnivoure) puts up with the vegan bacon. Try a few different brands of the mock meats.
It sounds like you could make your meal totally vegan and then just have a meat that he could add to it and be perfectly happy. If that is the case then he could cook up several things at once and freeze them and just add it to your beautiful vegan meal.
My household may be omnivoure, but our animal product consumption has decreased significantly since I went vegan because our side dishes are vegan, whereas they used to be vegetarian. Little changes add up.
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