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You guys are all I have
Started by Catherine J on September 27, 2012
Hey everyone...
I need some guidance. I only have one friend that is vegan, and a boyfriend that is trying to be vegetarian...but I struggle to find people to talk with about my feelings.
Here it goes: I understand where people are coming from that eat meat. I ate it for 27 years. I loved it. It tastes good (I can't imagine it now though)....so I get where they are coming from. They enjoy it. This is clear.
But since I realized where that food comes from and opened my eyes and mind to the cruelty, there was not a WAY that I was gonna put that food in my mouth ever again.
My problem now is that (as I had previously posted here) I look at people differently. I successfully educated my friend enough that she at least went to a local farmer that raises and kills on site (a bit better right?) and she bought soy milk, but there are so many friends in my life that continue to eat meat because of their own selfish desires. I don't get it. My friend last night said that it was a "free world". Well...that's true, but then shouldn't animals also get the choice?
My biggest problem now is with my boyfriend. I guess I want someone in my life that is truly compassionate. He's seen the videos...he knows what happens, but he is waiting till we live together, to truly stop eating meat. I don't get that.
Are there those of you with omnivore partnerS? Doesn't it bother you that there heart is not full enough to be determined not to contribute to this industry?
It's breaking my heart, but I'm looking at him in a different light.
What can I do? People before told me to be wait for people to approach me and be happy with little steps here and there...and I definitely am. But when I think of their hearts...they just don't seem as kind to me anymore.
I know that my boyfriend will change eventually, but I guess it's bothering me that he doesn't care right NOW...knowing what he knows.
Am I crazy??
Hello Catherine
My name is Jennifer and I live in Houston. I just wanted to say Hi and welcome. I know how you feel, but dont really know how to help you with this, but my Husband is someone that eats meat and I have a step daughter that is vegetarian and I am about 90% vegan, 10% vegetarian.
I just read this article yesterday called Psychology Today titled Empathy is what really sets Vegetatians apart (at least Neurologically Speaking) by Daniel R. Hawes on May 31, 2010 and a article NPR wrote : "do Vegetarians and Vegans think there better than everyone else." all this can be found on the Vegan Outreach news letter on September 26, 2012 issue. Dont know if it will help you any, but they are interesting articles if nothing else. It has been my experience though that you cant change a person if they dont want to change and i dont know your boyfriend but you need to also consider, if you feel that strongly about it, what would happen if you move in together and he doesnt change and continue to eat meat.
Does it bother me that my husband its meat? yes it does however, i was not a vegan when i married him. he has gotten to the point though where he doesnt eat meat all that often anymore but with two females that dont eat meat, he is on his own with buying it, eating it and cleaning up after. (i wont bye or clean anything that meat has touched) but he does listen to me and is very supportive of me, and that is better than nothing.
the best thing you can do is cook him yummy vegan dishes and if he really likes them and doesnt feel like he's missing meat that much, he might totally switch
My personal thoughts on this whole issue of people who still eat meat, is that i feel sad for the animals and for the people who eat them for their own guilty pleasure, but thats the world we live in. Society has us groomed that in order to survive we most eat meat and that is simply not the case. god only knows how many times people have asked me "where do you get your protein and how are you surviving etc
i even had someone tell me once that it was in the bible that we have to eat meat and thats why there here for " food" and i just feel so sorry for those people. and sometimes i ask my self whats the point of being vegan if the animals are going to be tortured anyway, i cant make a difference. but sometimes all we can do is help ourselves and know at least our conscience is clear and if other people choose to eat meat after being informed of all the facts there is really nothing we can do but hope the world someday will wake up and take notice of what they are doing to animals is wrong and uncalled for. ok so sorry for rambling. I hope this helps a little and again welcome!
Hi Catherine,
I agree that it totally changes your outlook and how you view people and their reactions. I find it so hard to understand how we all can't see what we need to do and once you know ... how can you not want to change??!! It's crazy.
I think though perhaps if they are at the point where they are open to the idea but haven't yet taken the leap, maybe give them time as it's amazing how hard the mental jump can be ... especially if they haven't read up or watched anything on veganism.
Maybe just give it all time and see how you both change ... he might surprise you??
Good luck!
Kirsty
Its rare to have friends that will go vegan with you. Its very, very difficult to tell people that they shouldnt eat meat. People are very VERY defensive about their meat. My boyfriend eats meat. And since we have lived together he has been super awesome about eating my vegan meals. For dinner I'll make whatever, and about once or twice a week, he will add a steak to it. I wish that he would not eat meat, but I know that its something that I will probably never change in him. The only thing that I can ask is that he not support factory farming. My boyfriend goes out and hunts deer, rabbit, and duck. And the only thing that I can say is at least the animals got to have a good life before they were killed. Whereas in factory farms they are born suffering and in pain and it doesnt stop until they are brutally killed. There are good books out there about how to deal with this situation, and there are endless vegan forums where this situation is questioned over and over. You can always find good advice. Good Luck!
You can't change people. They have to change themselves, if they want to. I've been a vegan for several years and I have the worlds best boyfriend. He's incredible and just the sweetest man to me but he eats meat.... but it's his choice. He respects me and I respect him. He's learning how to cook more veggie because he wants to, not because I'm making him (and he has high cholesterol... guess what doesn't have cholesterol? Vegan food :)
Same thing with my friends and family... I have a few vegan friends but most of them are meat eaters. But they're super respectful of me (they order vegan food for me or have something veggie if they know I'm coming over, my mom even clips vegan articles and she's not vegan!) You don't ever want to be rude or judgmental to the people that are supporting you, even if they're not a vegan. Being a vegan is hard for some, too hard for many to do. The light hasn't gone off in their head and for many, it never will (sadly). It sucks the whole world can't be a vegan but it's lovely people like you, me and everyone else on this website that are saving the lives of countless animals and hopefully spreading the word in a positive way. You want to be respected by people for being a vegan, not "ugh oh here she comes, the horrible vegan chick who makes comments about what I eat every time we hang out and is mean because I eat animals". Although if people are being a pain in the A, I throw some facts at them.... "You NEED milk, I drink 3 glasses a day, you're going to get osteoperosis" "Actually, we don't NEED milk, it's horrible for us, it causes osteoperosis, we're the only animal that drinks it past birth and PS that glass in your hand is 70% milk and 30% pus.... we can still be friends, right?"
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