The KInd Life Community Forum

About husbands, boyfriends, kids etc. I do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, laundry......everything that happens in the home happens because of me. That's how it works at my home and it makes everyone happy. We were vegetarians for many years. When I decided we were to become vegans, we became vegans. I didn't ask permission from my husband to stop cooking chicken and buying huge blocks of yellow cheese. I just did it. I continued to cook the ethnically diverse, highly flavorful meals I always cooked.....just without the small portions of meat and cheese that I usually added. And guess what.....no one noticed that anything was "missing". My husband continued to praise me on my clever recipes and wonderful food combinations. I continued to shop and cook vegan. My point is......let's stop approaching this issue as a big negative event. Men and kids will automatically react negatively and will hold onto their habits even harder. I didn't talk about it, plead or make threats or anything. Of course I eventually had to ask my husband and he said he honestly hadn't noticed and he didn't miss anything because I make interesting, good tasting food. We have happily been vegan for 4 years now and don't miss anything from our former diets. Some may think that this was a dishonest approach, but I realized I was in total control of our households eating choices. I bought all the food and made all the meals. It was essentially my "fault" that I was still using some animal products in my meals. So it was my duty to change that. And I'm proud I did. When people ask me how we "did it" I tell them this story. I stress to them not to make it all about what they are giving up.....but to look at what they are saving. Their world, their fellow creatures and themselves.

Awesome response 'Straycat'. However, I couldn't not tell anyone, because he likes a steak every two weeks (not easy to conceal that), we regularly eat out (which will give some problems the next time, I've checked our regular restaurants, and nothing vegan to report there. Only some salads, but there's still always some cheese involved. It will have to do without the cheese then), and we regularly visit family and friends, and most of the time we eat there, or have some cake or something like that. It wouldn't do to not tell them. Now they all have a chance to prepare themselves.
Btw, saturday was my first going out dinner since becoming vegetarian (real veganism isn't until after newyear). It was with an organisation I'm in, and took place in a private hall, food prepared by a caterer. Even as a non-vegetarian I wouldn't have liked the menu.. But fortunately, I mentioned beforehand that I've become a vegetarian, and if it was possible to serve me the meals without the (nasty) meat. And so they did, without any problems. Just left the meat out. Even prepared a special bowl of soup for me alone. Next year it will probably be more difficult, since dairy and eggs will be excluded then.. That will mean no soup (a lot of cream in it, too much actually) for me, no more potatocroquettes (eggs in it), and no more dessert (it was yummy, so that's a shame).