Contribute Your Story to The Kind Mama
As I write my next book The Kind Mama, I’m looking for anecdotes to feature from members of The Kind Life! You guys are so important to me, especially because I started TheKindLife.com at the same time my book The Kind Diet was published.
I know not all of you are kind mamas, but I’d love to hear from those of you who have had a kind pregnancy…and for those of you who don’t have kids yet, hopefully this info will be helpful!
Last time, I asked you about your kind pregnancy experiences. Today, I’m asking about your birthing experience! You can answer the questions here in the comments below, in The Kind Mama forum thread, or you can send me a message (just click to the right where it says “Contact Alicia”).
My editors and I will look at all your responses and we may select a few to include in The Kind Mama. We’ll reach out on an individual basis for permission from those of you who wish to contribute stories. With that, here is my second round of questions:
Share Your Natural Birth Story
1. Did you have a home birth? Did you have a midwife or doula? Share your successes and advice!
2. Were you scared of birth and then had a beautiful one? What gave you peace of mind?
3. What advice would you share with expecting mamas?
4. What made your birth experience that much more transcendent?
5. How did you decide who to include at your birth? Were there any preparations you did in advance that made the experience more special?
Again, you can answer in the comments below, by contacting me directly, or you can post your answers in this forum thread.
Do you have questions about natural birth? I’d love to answer them in my upcoming book. Send me your natural birth questions by clicking Contact Alicia in the sidebar to the right, or you can post them in the comments below.
Thank you, kind lifers!!!
Photo source: flickr.com / Weird Beard
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Mama
32 comments
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Hello! Until how long are submissions being considered? We are doing a home birth with an appx due date April 12. I will be focusing on pain free holistic birthing practices and would love to share how everything goes :) -
I offer up my birth story as a testament to what is possible (even at a hospital) and give hope and encouragement to pregnant women.
The day before I went into labor, I went to the office to train the temp who would be covering for me during my leave. I wasn't due for another two weeks, and knowing that first-time moms usually go beyond that point, I figured I'd have time. It was a long day at the office and I was looking forward to getting a good night's rest (well as good as one can get at that point.)
Well, the universe had other plans for me. At around 2:30 a.m. the next morning, I woke up to go to the bathroom and noticed that my underwear was a bit wet, thinking I had just peed a bit, I didn't make much of that. While in the bathroom, I noticed the "bloody show," which I knew meant labor was coming, but could still be quite a while away.
Filled with nervous energy and excitement, I woke my husband to let him know what was happening and prepared myself for what was going to be many hours of labor -- or so I thought.
For about the first hour or so, I really didn't pay much attention to timing the contractions. My doctor had just said to call when the pain got unbearable and so far it was nothing that couldn't be handled with a hot compress or spending some time in the shower.
Then without warning I started to get really dizzy and lightheaded and was spending a lot of time on the toilet. I also noticed that I was losing a lot of blood. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was already headed into active labor.
I managed to muster up some energy to call my mom and explain to her what was going on. Concerned that I was dehydrated she advised that I get to the hospital.
I wasn't watching the clock, but I remember it being around 4:30 a.m. when my husband called the doctor. At this point I was lying on the couch unable to move because the pain was so unbearable. I felt a bit defeated as I was hoping to not have an epidural and was upset for not being able to handle the pain.
My husband called a cab, and helped me get dressed (I was in too much pain to do it myself). As he helped me off the couch and we started walking out the door, I explained how I thought I felt the head and very strong urges to push.
Trying to keep me calm and thinking that it was just the contractions, he told me to keep breathing slowly.
Luckily at 5:00 a.m. on a Friday morning there weren't too many people on the road and the cab was able to get us to the hospital quickly. Had it been another time, I would have had the baby in the taxi.
I had forgotten where the L&D entrance was, so we just went to the front. Unfortunately the hospital was housing patients from hospitals affected by Sandy, so it seemed like it took forever to get a wheelchair and get me up to L&D.
Once I got there they had me lie down on the table in the triage room. To the surprise of myself and the attending physician, I was already crowning at this point. Without anytime for that usual hospital protocol, I was told to start pushing and about a minute later at 5:44 a.m. my son was born. My OB/Gyn missed it by about an hour and a half, my mom by about an hour, and my husband would have if he hadn't told the front desk to fill out the paperwork for us.
So all and all it was about a 3 hour labor with no IV lines, no drugs and new feeling of empowerment over what I was capable of.
I don't know what my next pregnancy will bring. But if I am lucky enough to be pregnant again, I am strongly considering a home birth. My first time showed that I (and women) can handle labor on my own, and just need a little help to finish the job. -
I had my first baby when I was just 20 years old. I was young and really didn't know anything. I delivered my daughter at the hospital and it was not a good experience. I had back labor and despite the pain went through the entire birth with no drugs :-) However, the doctors, nurses and staff were not helpful (I had difficulty breastfeeding, and was forced to abandon it because I couldn't get help or support). I spent most of my time at the hospital crying.
When I met my husband 13 years later and I was pregnant for the 2nd time we did the whole doctor thing and made plans for a hospital delivery, but... several things made me seriously reconsider. First was my initial experience giving birth in a hospital, second was the fact that after countless visits (I was more than 6 months along in my pregnancy) our doctor still didn't know our names, was in and out with us in less than 5 minutes each visit and never took our questions seriously if he bothered to stay in the room long enough to answer them.
One of our co-workers (my husband and I worked in the same office) had a home birth and she just loved it. So I asked my husband if he would be ok with it and he said yes. I called a mid-wifery and there happened to be a spot that just opened so we were very fortunate as we found out there are waiting lists at certain mid-wiferies here in the city.
We were assigned 3 mid wives, with one being our main and 2 we would see also. The experience with them was amazing. Both my husband and I were so shocked and pleased at the same time that they really seemed to care about the whole pregnancy and birth experience. Our initial appointment was 60 minutes long. They would take as much time as they needed to address any of our questions.
My husband and daughter were with me during my labor. We made sure to have snacks of fruit and gatorade ready for me, as well as other supplies such as table cloths to protect the carpets, towels, blankets, and mattress pads.
With regard to my birth experience at home; we were told not to call the midwives until our contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasted 1 minutes or longer. My contractions jumped from 7 minutes apart to 4 before the mid-wife showed up at our house. Prior to this I had been having contractions since 7 pm the previous day (it was 1 pm when we called the mid-wives). I spent a lot of time walking around to speed up the contractions and to let gravity do its thing. When my contractions intensified I had to lie down in bed. My contractions were painful and intense and I was starting to fear the baby would come before they got there.
Luckily, when the mid wives showed I was 7 cm dialated and in one hour I was fully dialated and ready to push. They couldn't get over how fast my "active" labor was. There was 2 midwives present helping me with breathing and relaxing my body during contractions. Their soothing words and words of encouragement helped me tremendously. They were waiting for me to feel the urge to push but it never came. So I pushed anyways.
My daughter came out and there was meconium poop present, but after thoroughly examining the baby it was clear that she had not ingested it or she would have been taken to the hospital. She weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces.
It was just a regular birth (no water or anything like that), but being in the comfort of my own house with my husband put me at ease the whole time and I kept saying over and over to my husband how glad I was that we weren't in a hospital.
The mid-wives stayed after the birth for as long as was needed to ensure that my daughter latched properly. I was terrified because of my experience with my first daughter and they knew how much I wanted to be able to breastfeed. I was thrilled when she latched and they made sure I knew how to get her to latch on without their help.
The follow up visits until 6 weeks after birth was great too. In the first 3 days alone they visited twice to check how I was doing and to weigh the baby and see how the breastfeeding was going once my milk had come in. The subsequently visited at 1 week 2 weeks and then at 6 weeks. It was so wonderful to have their support and help. I could never thank them enough.
I have since had a son with the exact mid-wife we had with our daughter as it turned out, and I ended up having back labor with him but still had a home birth. It was exhausting but I would never change a thing. He weighed 9 pounds, 5 ounces.
To me, home birth is the way giving birth should be. But that's just my opinion and I know that some women can't due to medical conditions and so forth. You feels empowered after going through all that pain and coming through on the other side with this precious little baby. It makes you feel like there is nothing you can't do in this life. It is a life-changing experience. I truly learned the meaning of perseverance. -
I wanted to share an important lesson I learned from my pregnancy! I had every intention to stay kind during pregnancy but without any support for staying kind and horrible morning sickness, I was at other's mercy. I really needed someone to help me prepare food when the sight of it made my stomach churn. I live in a town with few vegetarian/vegan options and my family, while respectful of my decision normally, made me feel guilty for pushing it on my baby. Get a good support group! -
Hope it isn't too late to contribute here!
I'm a (vegetarian!) doula & childbirth educator and had two great natural births of my own--the first in a hospital with an OB, the second in a birth center with midwives. Both amazing for many different reasons!
With my first birth I had nothing but naive confidence that I could do what I wanted. My mother had normal births (including a VBAC), we took a lovely childbirth Ed class at our yoga center, and I had Ina may's bible perched permanently at my bedside. I rocked a day of back labor thanks to the support & respect of an angel of a nurse. I spoke my wishes as soon as we arrived at the hospital and was never questioned. When I held my new daughter I felt like I was strong enough do anything in the world, which is a pretty great way to begin the journey of motherhood.
When I was pregnant with my son, I had much more experience and knowledge having been a doula since my first birth. I chose midwives and a birth center and the differences were wonderful--long talks at prenatal visits, no intrusive tests or checks, everything was presented as an option or choice instead of "what was expected." I felt like it was my own experience to create, not one that would be handed to me. His birth was much smoother--I labored in water, ate and drank freely, listened to music, and slept with my whole family in the bed as we enjoyed our first night together.
What advice would you share with expecting mamas?
To listen to your heart & gut, trust yourself, honor your feelings. Hire a care provider that listens to you & believes in you. And hire a doula for strong wise support along the way!
What made your birth experience that much more transcendent?
Feeling all of it, being completely present, I felt awakened to a new sense of myself--a self I was really freaking proud of. :) -
I’m a first time Mom at age 38 and had a home birth 3 months ago. Luckily I had a 3 hour labour! It was an empowering, beautiful, intense experience and I was able to manage the strength of my contractions with the techniques I read about and learned in my birthing classes and also with the excellent, unwavering support of my birth team. I wouldn’t change a thing about my experience, I would do it again, and I love to recall and share my story.
Since I got pregnant, I wasn't scared of giving birth...I approached it more as a physical challenge and major rite of passage to go through. In fact, I feared hospitals more! I knew from the start that I wanted a natural birth and the more research I did about natural birth in hospitals, the less confidence I had that it would go the way I wanted. Like other women who have done their reading, I feared the slippery slope of medical intervention at hospitals and the statistic that 1 out of 3 women have a c-section in the U.S., which is alarmingly higher than the reasonable global standard of 5-10% advised by the World Health Organization. Here in North Carolina, there was only one birthing center over an hour’s drive away from our home, but they were completely booked with a waiting list. So, my final option was a home birth. Am I ever glad it worked out this way! Once I located a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) when I was 30 weeks pregnant and had left the care of my OB-GYN (another initial challenge and separate long story) and met with my CNM, I was really excited at the prospect of giving birth at home. She had such a knowledgeable, calm, trusting aura about her. I also interviewed and hired a doula, figuring that the midwife is there to guide me, monitor the health of my baby and I, and catch my baby, but the doula is there 100% to ensure emotional support and coaching to me and my husband. My husband was totally supportive after some initial convincing that I would get the care I needed in the rare case of an emergency.
My first advice coincides with my strong believe that a large part having a successful natural birth is mental preparation and self-education. What gave me peace of mind was watching a couple of documentaries and reading many birth stories, particularly of first-time moms who had positive home birth experiences which boosted my confidence. I also took the Bradley Method classes which were very informative and practical. The other preparation was continuing to eat a healthy, mostly vegan diet, drink at least 3 litres of water a day and I walked A LOT, up until the day my baby was born. Late in the third trimester, I would also do squats in the shower, kegels, and spend some time on hands and knees a few times a day as recommended by midwife after our appointments, to ensure the baby remained in a good position for birth.
Second advice is to have a birth team you feel comfortable with. Discuss what you want for your birth with your OB/GYN or midwife and make sure they know your plan and share your goals. This birth is YOURS and your baby’s, not your doctor’s. You hold the power, but only if you’re well informed of the process and techniques to help you.
In preparation for the birth, I put up on the wall a few favourite inspiring photos and some affirmations and key phrases I read about as a labour technique, i.e. “Open & Down, Down & Out, Come on Baby!", “Let it Go", "Ride the Wave” etc. and during my contractions, I repeated these phrases and tried to focus on my photos as well as the encouraging face of my coaching husband.
As for Theo’s birth story, I was in my 39th week, one day before my due date. After a lovely Friday night dinner out with my husband and my mother, I woke up at 1:07 a.m. with very strong contractions. After a couple passed at about 7 minutes apart, I got up and walked around to see if they would go away but they didn’t – this was definitely IT! We called my midwife at 1:45 when they were 5 minutes apart. By then, when it was obvious to her that I could not easily talk nor walk through the contractions, she said she would be on her way (she lived a 45 minute drive away!). While my husband went to work getting our bedroom and birth place ready with the waterproof bed cover and other home birth supplies, my mom and doula coached and supported me through the increasingly intense contractions as I changed positions every few contractions and went in the bathtub. The most comfortable position I stayed in for the longest time was on my hands and knees using the birthing ball on my bed. My mom said later that I took charge and told them all exactly what I needed calmly between contractions – a cold washcloth with lavender oil, a sip of coconut water, for the two of them to push on my hips for counter pressure through the contractions. My midwife arrived at 3 a.m. followed shortly by her fantastic birth assistant, and Theo was born at 4:01 a.m., at 8 lbs 10 oz, after 31 minutes of pushing. The pushing was very intense and required every ounce of physical strength I had, but it also felt gratifying…obviously getting close to the end! I also felt a lot of pressure release when my water broke late in the pushing stage. Later when I was re-reading birth stories in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth I came across a description that fit my own experience…when I was feeling like I was being injured with every contraction and then every push (and possibly injuring my baby with my loud moans) the calm, reassuring voice of my midwife gave me a surge of relief and confidence and also gave me extra strength to bear the sensations. I never had a first stage labour nor any transition that I was aware of! It all happened so quickly.
In the end, whatever happens, it is most important that women educate themselves about the birth process, be aware of the pros and cons about the potential interventions that have become so routine and often so unecessary in hospitals - and trust in the strength of their bodies! I love the quote by Laura Stavoe Harm, "we have a secret in our culture, it's not that birth is painful, it's that women are strong". -
Hi There,
I didn't know anything about midwife assisted birth or if it was even possible in our town but when I got pregnant and couldn't find any doctors including my own OB to see me before 8 weeks even for a consultation, I was feeling defeated. Then started calling around for C-section rates when I found out my OB had an 80% C-section rate, I opted to not go there anymore. Finally in my saddened and nervous state an angel dropped by my desk and said "Why don't you call the birth center"... WHAT???
I went in for an orientation and fell in love immediately. From that moment on, I knew I would have a midwife assisted birth and pregnancy. We took Bradley classes, breast feeding classes, watched videos, went to every appointment together, and were totally prepared. In fact I wasn't scared at all. I told myself that I was in good hands. This was meant to be and there was no need to be afraid. I did educate myself as part of our bradley class for worse case scenarios. hospital transfers, c-sections etc. But continued on my path for a natural birth.
We decided to not have anyone at the birth except my husband, Mom and the midwife. Eventually a nurse comes to help the midwife so at most there were 4 people in the room.
As for the labor and delivery... well, my guy took 42 weeks to make his appearance and he didn't come gracefully. 54hrs of labor start to finish. But most of those were at home no sleep and steadily ever 6-8 minutes consistently. When contractions came closer to the 3-4 minute mark, we went to the center. By now I was already really tired.
They were going to send me home to sleep, because I still wasn't dilated and my water hadn't broke. So I bounced on the birthing ball through the hallway, we were all laughing and having a good time between contractions when the midwife looked at me and said... "When you switch from laughter to serious, the baby will come" I thought she was crazy. We called everyone, that we were finally in labor, so excited, we bounced... I breathed in pain through the contractions, talked to the baby...then bounced some more, my water broke.... I got serious... the cell phone rang at one point and I threw it across the room kind of serious. I then knew what the midwife meant. And the next 10hrs would be the hardest of my entire life.
Back labor, that I wasn't prepared for. Every position, the tub the toilet, the ball and 5hrs of pushing. Sooo thankful I wasn't tied to any machines. My little cutie made his appearance with his hand coming out waving to the world. Our Midwife had to twist and pull to get the rest of him out without breaking anything on his little body, and keeping the cord where it needed to be. He was feeding within moments, my husband cut the cord, and then we all took a nap. We were home within 10hrs of his birth. And the nurse came to check on us. The experience was AMAZING. No drugs not even a Motrin.
As for preparation we brought food and drinks, but staying hydrated was really hard through the back to back contractions and food was out of the question. I didn't bring the right gowns or extra cloths to get me through the labor experience. And I didn't bother turning on the music as I was so sound sensitive, I couldn't even handle people talking.
My advice for new Moms is to do your research. Some people spend more time searching for a car than they do finding the right fit for a birthing experience. allow your body to do what it is meant to do. We are built to do amazing things, and those babies will come out when they are ready, no need to rush them (unless there is danger). Don't schedule a birth because a doctor has a vacation coming, find a different doctor. Do what you feel is right for your body. And most importantly don't read in to other peoples birth stories. you will have your own and it will be amazing when that little person is in your arms. Try not to stress or be like anyone else. Follow your gut, intuition and what your body is telling you. Then relax and let it happen knowing that your ready with what ever is about to happen.
Much love and happiness,
Nita -
I am planning my natural birth now and I hope to have a wonderful story for you in about 4 weeks. My midwife and doula are great and I have full confidence in the team that I have selected to help my body and my baby do exactly what is was made to do! I love the prenatal care that I have gotten thus far and each time I have a question or an issue like heart burn, my midwife is so good at giving my natural suggestions to help make me more comfortable. They are all about information and they do everything possible to make sure that we don't need medical intervention. I can't wait to meet my little one:-) -
Hi Alicia,
I had two natural biths in the hospital. For my first son, I brought a birth plan and made sure I had music and a birthing ball with me. Once they strap you down, the ball is pointless. The music was lovely, but it was hard to hear over the bustle of the staff and the constant cervical checks (OUCH!) they do there. I came to the hospital after about 5 hours of labor at hoome. I managed to stay calm and breath in and out of contractions. When transition came, I got an adrenalin rush and became very scared. I had not read about this in the books I had and the staff just saw my panic. I asked for epidural because in my mind the amount of pain I was having in transition (usually the shortest part of labor) would go on forever. Luckily, they had to wait for the anesthesiologist to get out of a c-section and it was too late by the time those 15 minutes had elapsed. I was ready to push, although the nurses did not believe me. I had only been in the hospital for about 5 hours and this was my first baby. But, lo and behold, when they made their way in to check me, I was ready. Unfortunately, the OB was not. So the nurses made me blow through two pushing contractions waiting for her to get out of surgery. The machines lost the baby's heart beat and I was about to catch my own baby when the doctor rushed in just in time to catch my Elijah's little head. I listened to my body rather than the cheering section of nurses and got him out in two contractions. It was amazing, life altering, soul shattering. I was an Ima (Hebrew for mother) and I had brought this gorgeous child into the world with nothing fogging my brain or impairing my body. I nursed him 15 minutes after he was born and he nursed with very little problem for 16 months.
My second son made his way into the world in the same hospital. This time, I left the birth plan at home (no one there had read it anyway) and abondoned my birthing ball and my music. This labor was harder - I had already been in labor for about 12 hours once I got to the hospital. For some reason, my baby would not drop low enough to progress labor. The staff had me get up after I had been in transition for about an hour. They told my husband and I that I may need a c-section if my water broke before my baby dropped due to cord prolapse. This time, I had read some amazing books on natural childbirth. So I got up and did some exercises from the books. It was very hard to do since they would not take the straps from the machines off of me!! No wonder c-section rate is so high these days. Luckily, I was able to get him to come down. I got the same adrenalin rush, but I knew how to deal with it this time. I did not ask for meds and even had the strength to tell the nurses no a few times when they were offered during a long transition period. After almost 2 hours of transition, I allowed the doctor to break my water - I was pushing 30 seconds later! My very bruised and battle weary Micah was born in two contractions as well, but he was beat up from coming through and out so quickly. It was wonderful to hold him after 18 hours of labor!! He nursed about an hour after birth, but they jammed tubes down his nose when he came out blue from the bruising thinking he was having breathing issues. The tubes created some pretty bad swelling in his nasal passages and nursing was a problem in the beginning. But we figured it out and he is still nursing at 19 months old.
Both of my births were incredible and both were unmedicated. I truly believe that they would have gone much better at home. We are planning on another baby in the next 6 months or so and I am trying to make a home birth work for us financially. After attending my best friend's home birth as a doula type coach, I really think that is the way to go. I did not have a doula or a midwife because the hospital I used does not allow them. I had three mothers in the room with me during my births, but only my mother in law had had a natural childbirth and she had been 17 at the time and didn't remember much about it! I had lots of support from my attendants, but no knowledge except what I had read during pregnancy. I managed it, but it would have been lovely to have women around who were trained in truly natural childbirth. I'm hoping that baby number three will be the kindest birth yet! -
Hi Alicia,
I would like to say a few words about my sister,who is a very proud mother of her almost two year old son, Diego. Ever since we were growing up she has a natural inclination for takingwcare of me. We watch GI Joe, as she made breakfast for us. She never complained and I think she took some pleasure in taking care of me. I was so obsessed with her that I would literally follow her around our house in Pennsylvania. She was always so sweet and I really can't recall her getting angry with me. She just emanates pure love. Now she lives in Rhode Island with her husband. She stays home and takes care of Diego night and day. When anyone is around her, there ia au aura of sweetness and calm. She solves all problems rationally and never raises her voice. My nephew is following her lead. He is such a wonderful, job of a child. And anything he does that may be cause for anger she just lets it go. I admire her so much and would love to help her in anyway that I can. Unfortunately, I've been without a job for 3 years and can't really afford to help her financially. But I feel like I want to give her and Diego and Ludo something special. She's my heart and I really love her so much. I know that her little family is struggling, who isn't in this economy. I suppose I want her to know how proud I am of what a stellar individual she has become. She devotes her life to her family and makes it seem seamless. Is there anything that you can reccomend that would be appropriate? Thanks so much, Dragica Cosic -
Hi Alicia-
I love you and what you do SO MUCH!
Here is my Kind Birth story. We had home births for both of my daughters, once in 1989 near Dallas, TX, and another in 1999 in Atlanta, GA – both with a local midwife.
In 1989, at age 30 and 6 months pregnant, we did the ritual hospital visit suggested by our prestigious Dallas Ob/Gyn. The visit traumatized me! I saw the nurses handle a newborn baby as if it was a loaf of bread, laying it in a bin and leaving it to wail its little lungs out. Gives me shivers just thinking back on it. I didn’t know what in the world to do, but my heart was crying out! The following weekend, I happened to meet a pregnant woman who had four previous home births and was planning her next. Looking back, I know it was an answer for me from the Universe! I contacted her midwife and within a few months, we had my first beautiful baby in an at-home birth. Besides the midwife in attendance, it was my husband, myself, and the arriving baby (Leanna, now 23).
I might add that I innocently and professionally met with the Ob/Gyn to let him know the good news about changing my mind to have a gentle home birth instead. I was so excited, but he was arrogant, fearful, and ended up being downright dismissive and rude as we left his office. I made sure to send him a letter a few months after the birth describing our rich and meaningful experience with home birth. He never responded.
Ten years later, remarried to another man, I was pregnant at age 40. By that time (1999), there were many more resources and midwives available, so we found one as soon as possible. Again, a great experience, overall. Present at the birth: my husband, myself, my mom, Leanna (then 10, was asleep for most of it) and the little newborn (Mia, now 13).
Challenges: I tore both times, the second needing a few stitches. I had prenatal care from the midwife both times, so I was healthy. I wish I would have been more secure in myself and more proactive - I just followed the lead of the midwife. My advice is to be as informed and confident as you can be – don’t be afraid to get into your comfort zone, whatever that might be. Example: my midwife said in one pre-birth class that women express their power and pain management differently –she had one mom moan loudly with each contraction. For some reason, I claimed that method for myself, and it became annoying for everyone present, even me. LOL. It just wasn’t necessary, and didn’t even feel comfortable to me, but by then, I didn’t know what else to do - I was too busy to think of other ideas! Hence, the confidence factor: I should have kept trying things that worked better for me, but I didn’t.
In both situations, we sent off for a supply kit (compiled by each midwife), so we were completely ready well in advance.
Good luck on the book! Be well! XO
Anita French -
When my husband and I first got together I told him that if we had children, I wanted a home birth. He was a bit surprised, but agreeable. I had seen a news clip about a doctor using hypno-birthing with his patients and I knew that was the way I'd want to do it.
When we decided to try for our first child, I started searching out midwives for a home birth in New Orleans. I connected with "Emmy" and knew from our first phone call that she was the person I wanted to help us with this most important experience. The next thing I knew, I was pregnant and the process began. From the very beginning she came to our house for the regular checkups and would be with us for at least an hour each time. By the time I went into labor she felt like a close friend, a part of the family really. She was supportive of my vegetarian diet (I hadn't made the transition to vegan at that point), and my dance career. She felt certain that bellydancing could only help the process.
Along the way, I also decided that I wanted a water birth. Nothing relaxes me like a long hot bath {except maybe a long massage :-) }, so it felt like a perfect solution for the labor process. My husband and I took natural childbirth classes together, and did the hypno-birthing training with a friend who got certified in the method in time to teach us.
When the day came, I had the birthing tub set up in the living room (it was a small apartment) and my mom in town to meet her new grand-baby as soon as she/he entered the world. I called my midwife and she sent her two assistants over while she made the one hour drive to the house. The people who were present could hardly believe I was having contractions for the first several hours. Every time one came, I closed my eyes, my husband gently stroked my arm, and I sat quietly until it passed. I walked around the house, ate snacks, drank plenty of fluids, and told jokes and talked with my family and friends who were there. Until I reached transition I didn't really experience any "pain." The last two hours were more intense, but I still felt totally safe and confident with the preparations I had made.
The only unexpected moment was when the baby's head emerged and the body refused to follow. My wonderful midwife spent a couple of minutes trying to move the baby's hand out of the way so she could make her way out while I has kneeling in the tub and holding on the side of it. When baby didn't cooperate she said told me to lean back on my husband and try it that way. When that didn't work she said, "Stand her up!" Shortly after standing, baby Jasmine finished making her way into the world. :-) I'm so grateful to Emmy for allowing my body to follow it's natural process, and allowing gravity to assist me and my baby at the end rather than trying to push or pull her out.
When friends came by to meet Jasmine about an hour later they were surprised to see me up and walking around the house. I can't express how happy I was to be in my own home, with my family and friends around us. I was most grateful that I didn't have to hand my baby off to someone else and watch her be taken out of my site.
My mother confessed afterward that she had been very nervous about me having the baby at home, but after witnessing Jasmine's home birth she would recommend it to anyone experiencing a normal, healthy pregnancy. I wouldn't change a single thing about our birthing experience. Whenever I hear people talking about what an excruciatingly painful process birth is, I remember my peaceful, happy experience and wish that all women could have the same. -
I delivered my son at home March 2012 with my wonderful midwife and her team. It was the most wonderful, life changing, and natural experience I have ever had.
Nothing can prepare you for how your labor might feel and my labor turned out to be one of the racecar versions that once it got started, it was quick! During birthing classes, we practiced birthing positions so I knew what made me most comfortable, I told my sister what sounds and smells I didn't like, and we were able to talk about photos and video during the labor. This was super helpful because it made my experience that much more my own, I planned the details and this was my big day.
When it all started, I didn't know I had gone into labor because I wasn't sure my water had broke. I woke up at midnight to use the bathroom which for most of the pregnancy didn't happen. (yay!!) When I returned to bed, I was texting my husband who was overseas and with the time difference, the midnight potty breaks were a perfect chance to say hi. He noticed I had gotten quiet and asked me what was up. My next message made his heart drop. "I think my water just broke"
I went to my sister's room (she was my birth partner since my husband couldn't be there) and she told me she believed it had broken. Then, we called my midwife. She told me to go back to sleep and give her a call when my contractions started and became close together. But there was no way to sleep when you know you're about to have your baby! This all started at 12:00am and contractions started just after 1:00am. I was so unprepared for the birth because I was only 39 weeks. My birthing tub was coming in the mail, it actually arrived the next day, I was still deciding which diapers I wanted to use so I didn't have any at the house…it was a mess. I didn't have time to talk to anyone once contractions started, I just went silent. My husband was with me on Skype the whole time, and the people around me helped by bringing the computer wherever I happened to be in the house. Before I knew it, I had my son at 8:42am!
I loved everything about how kind, gentle, and calming my midwives were. They spoke to me softly and made every step of this very intense labor comfortable. I wouldn't change anything about my experience…except maybe having some diapers ready :) -
I knew from the moment I got pregnant (almost seven years ago now) that I did not want a hospital birth. I'd heard too many horror stories about induction, epidurals, loss of feeling in legs, babies that wouldn't latch, nurses giving formula... and of course the fact that SICK people go to hospitals. Birthing is not an illness.
I absolutely loved my midwife, and had a great relationship with her. When the time came, we planned for her to come to our condo in Toronto and deliver our son there.
I remember being terrified of giving birth in the final weeks of pregnancy. It manifested itself in the form of some pretty crazy nightmares. The birth itself could not have been any further from my fears. My labour and birth were the most beautiful experience I could have possibly hoped for. My midwife just set my mind at ease from the moment she arrived. She helped me find ways to get through the contractions, coached me in a tender and compassionate way, and even took pains to protect me from tearing once it was time to push.
I would offer this little tidbit of advice to expecting mamas: BIRTH is NORMAL! Do your research! Do not go into your birth uneducated. Realize that hospitals profit from things like epidurals and induction. But above all: TRUST that your body can DO this! It has been done since the dawn of time.. you can do it too!
I found that just being in the comfort of my own home made my birth all the more transcendent. Not having to get up and go anywhere afterwards was wonderful. The midwife left, and we just sat for hours and watched our new son in his little bassinet... it was amazing and beautiful.
I had received advice from a couple of friends who found it distracting to have too many people there, and so I decided to only have my husband, me and our midwife present. It ended up that we had a student in training as well, which I did not mind at all.
We had just moved into our place a week before I went into labour, so the place was a sea of boxes. The only real preparation we did in advance was to protect our mattress... that, I would say, is an absolute must!
Love being a part of this wonderful forum, by the way!
Tracy -
I wanted to comment on the link about kind eating during pregnancy and I never did. So I will be writing about both experiences here.
I wasn't making the best eating choices when I was pregnant with my first child. I was eating fast food and other nasty concoctions. I wasn't gaining lots of weight though because I was exercising my butt off. But by my third trimester I felt terrible. I couldn't sleep, had little energy, constant nausea, difficulty digesting and heartburn. I knew these were all "normal" pregnancy aches and pains but I didn't buy it. I was carrying life inside of me! How incredible is that? I should be feeling my best. In desperation I turned to a raw food diet. I ate lots of salads, beans did lots of juicing. This diet was perfect for a hot summer in Southern California. From one day to the next, I felt amazing! I felt better then I had in years! I slept hard, was levitating with energy and had zero digestion issues.
My first baby was born at home. I'd been terrified of childbirth my whole life. When I became pregnant I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and I was suddenly excited about the birth experience. I found it remarkable that my body was created to bring this baby into the world! I was healthy, the baby was healthy, this was going to be awesome.
I was in labor for over two days, accessing my inner power to persevere and be the woman I was created to be. After an exhausting deliver, my baby was born not breathing. The midwives handled it so well. I was so impressed by their skills and care. The home birth was important for me. As a first time mother, someone who was not exactly ready to be a mother, I learned about intuition, how to listen to my body, my baby, trust my instincts, shut the world out so I could do what I needed to take care of my child. I felt superhuman, and suddenly I was confident that I was going to be a great mom.
After I gave birth, I was excited to go back to my All American meat eating diet. However, I realized I felt better as a vegan nine months pregnant, than I did post pregnancy. So I became vegetarian. After a few months, I felt my body was asking me to do more. At that same time, Alicia came out with her book. The Superhero diet was exactly what I was looking for. Plant based, seasonal, various cooking methods, I fell in love.
When I got pregnant with baby #2, I conquered the superhero diet and I felt amazing. It was also the only time in my pregnancy that I was told I had a pregnancy glow. However, that didn't last long. After eating so many plants, I started craving nasty foods. Once you indulge a couple times, your taste buds are cast into slavery and only want fattening junk. However, I didn't want to deal with detox. Discouraged, I felt miserable. I went nights without sleeping and was pretty much useless. I couldn't wait to give birth so afterwords I could detox all the nasty foods in me. I had another home birth and loved it. It was the best feeling to give birth, and have my new baby meet her older sister immediately. A huge perk to eating vegan after pregnancy is that your body bounces back quite quickly. No moaning about getting rid of the baby weight. Good eating combined with nursing bumps it right off.
With my third pregnancy, I felt as though I really mastered a diet that would help me feel my best but also indulge in fun vegan pregnancy foods. My diet was loosely based on the superhero diet. During that time I was a full-time mother to my one year old and two year old, going to school full time, and commuting for school. It was a demanding lifestyle but I always had the energy to keep going. Once my family all got sick, including my husband who never gets sick. I used to always catch whatever bug flew my way, however I didn't get sick! I knew it was because of my diet and I was captivated by the magic of food.
I had another home birth. I believe the best part of home births is the fact that the husband takes such an active role. I was able to be flexible with the positions my body needed to get into in order to push the baby out, and my husband was the person who got me through the delivery.
Fun vegan food that kept me on track were udon noodles with dark leafy greens smothered in EVOO and ume plum vinegar, Alicia's Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups, Babycakes NYC's banana bread with chocolate chips, My Father's Daughter's Vegan Paella and Vegan Family Meal's Watercress and Butter Lettuce salad with Israeli Couscous, Orange-Basil Tempeh, and Sweet Miso Dressing (translation: the most elegant, creamy, delicious salad EVER!) I also had lots of tofu scrambles for breakfast to ward off my egg cravings, and packed big burritos and chickpea smash sandwiches for long commutes.
I am constantly taking the plunge to eat more and more superhero. Most of my little girls' meals are superhero based. They usually love them because superhero foods are so simple and pure. After a meal of veggies, sea veggies, grains and beans, we reward them with vegan ice cream for desert or vegan cookies. It makes me to proud to see them eating so well. Not only because the flu and colds are bypassing them, but also because they are forming healthy habits that will stick with them for a lifetime. As a mother, I want what is best for my children, and I believe the gift of healthy lifestyle and habits, are one of the best gifts that they will appreciate for a lifetime. I love that we are teaching them through solid actions to be kind to themselves and the planet. -
In the months leading up to my second birth, I was filled with conflicting emotions. On any given day I felt scared and anxious or empowered and excited. I was preparing for a natural VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My first birth was one of those typical "plan for a beautiful natural, drug-free births but then everything spirals out of control due to a lengthy labor and no one to be a real advocate for you" kind of births. Fast forward three years and I knew exactly what things I would do different.
1) I would have a midwife; in my eyes only a woman would truly be there to see me through this. 2) I would have a doula. 3) I would do most of my laboring at home.
Unfortunately, in my state because I was having a VBAC, home birth was not really an option for me unless I birthed in another state- in a hotel room or in someone else's home. This didn't really seem worth the trouble to me, especially since I had found a wonderful nurse midwife who I knew would advocate for me in the hospital setting. And that is so important, knowing your provider. Know that she or he is accepting of your wishes, and know that she or he understands that this is YOUR birth. Especially in a VBAC situation, you need to be 100% certain that your provider is supportive of VBACs and has a high success rate attending them. Women are just as capable of having a natural childbirth after a cesarean as women who are having their first natural birth. My friend and I both had drug-free VBACs hours apart, in the same hospital.
Having a doula present at your birth is one of life's greatest blessings. She can not only be present for the laboring momma, but also for the partner. She is your advocate, your rock, and your person to lean on when things tough. My doula was incredible. Because I had the good fortune that she was also my friend, she held a "birth blessing" in my honor prior to my birth. This gave me strength and helped me to own my body and my labor and feel empowered. During labor she knew exactly what to say and when to say it. I believe she was a driving force behind my quick labor by helping me understand how to make each contraction count and by helping take a lot of pressure off my husband.
For me, laboring at home was so important. During my entire pregnancy I had been so worried about giving birth in the hospital. I kept replaying in my mind all the scenarios that could make this birth turn into a repeat of my first- the environment not being right, too many people coming in and out of the room, the nurses mentioning pain relief, talk of induction, feeling fearful and not being able to let go, etc. Well, because I labored mostly at home, none of those things could stand in the way of my birth. When my contractions started in the afternoon, I stayed calm and went about my day. I took a walk and played with my son. In the evening, when the contractions had grown stronger, I ate dinner with my family before choosing my favorite laboring position on all fours on my bed. I had a candle lit by my bedside and my birth playlist on repeat from my ipod. I felt peaceful every time I had a sensation and stared at the candle's tiny flame. Once I truly felt that birth was imminent and I was in active labor, I was ready to be where I would be delivering my baby. We transitioned to the hospital smoothly and by then, I was already 7 centimeters! I was in such a primal state at that point that I didn't notice where I was or what the environment was like or who was in the room. I was just another mammal preparing to birth her young. Two hours later, I was delivering my son. I'll never forget the moment when my midwife told me to feel his head. As I did, I finished pushing him out and was able to "catch" him. I pulled him up to my chest and immediately felt like I had accomplished one of life's most amazing feats. There is nothing on this earth quite like a momma birthing her child the way nature intended it. -
Hi Alicia,
I was not a "kind mama" as I'm only recently vegan. But I thought I should add my birth experience, as it was totally beautiful and think that it could encourage expectant mums. I have had 3 babies all very big weighing in at 9 lbs, 10 lbs and 11 lbs!! My first baby was born posterior, and I had 2 minute apart contractions for 10 days….but even though I was tired and feeling a little sick, I absolutely LOVED giving birth. Yes it can be a bit painful, but mostly the pain is in your head, and if you can concentrate and slow your breathing down it is not painful at all. My husband was totally awesome and would slow his breathing down during a contraction so that I could copy him. My second and third babies were induced as I was waaay overdue, again I just went in totally positive and excited to meet my new little one. My second daughter came in just 20 minutes of hard and fast labour, I went from being asleep between contractions to pushing out a big beautiful healthy girl. My third one was a longer labour and my poor little boy was such a heffalump that his shoulders got stuck in the birth canal….he was stuck with no oxygen for 4 minutes and was born an awful colour and had to spend 24 hours in the special care nursery, but I would do it all over again in a second!! The midwife told me they had broken his collarbone delivering him and that he would probably be brain damaged….neither of those things were true in the end. He was totally perfect. I'm completely in love with all three of my precious kids…. they are now 13, 11 and 7, how fast the time goes! If you go into the birthing process with a positive attitude, and know that you're going to come out the other side with an amazing precious little angel, then I think that you cope far better than people who are just scared that it will hurt.
Anyway, that's my bit. Hope my story can help some other soon to be mums out there, by putting their mind at ease.
Kind regards,
Vanessa -
I'd like to add a few things:
If you're considering home birth, be prepared to get a lot of questions, some not too kind. I frequently told people that comparing home birth to hospital birth was like apples and oranges. I also told them that I was aware that home birth wasn't for everyone, but after much research, I decided it was just right for me.
Interview midwives and doulas and birthing centers. Your midwife should be pretty strict about nutrition, health, stress factors, etc. My midwife had a library of books and we were required to check out at least one a month. She was very careful to point out that home birth is an active experience for the mother and father. We had to be prepared to participate fully in the experience.
My favorite part was the herbal bath after the birth. Once the baby had nursed and I felt good enough to get up, the baby and I got in a warm herbal salt bath. It felt so good, and it was a chance to hold my baby up face to face for the first time and really get to know her/him.
Again, this is an experience that you must be willing to have an active role but also you will have a lot of control. If you're considering home birth, I highly recommend it. It's good for you, it's good for the baby and it's good for your family. -
Alicia,
What a wonderful topic. My kids were all born at home. I wouldn't have experienced childbirth any other way. All of my pregnancies, labor and births were ethereal, spiritual experiences. But my last childbirth is the one which has the most meaning.
It was 22 years ago on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It was the first day the Home Alone came out in theaters, so my husband and I decided to take our kids, who were 9, 7 and 6. Of course we all loved the movie, even mom, who squirmed through the whole thing, being as I was 9 months pregnant. We got home and settled in, anticipating our big Thanksgiving dinner at Grandmother's house. Around 11:00PM, my water broke and labor started. After about an hour or so, we called the midwives, and they arrived soon afterwards.
Well, the kids woke up during all the hooplah, and after realizing what was going on, they weren't about to go back to bed. So they went into the living room and played Nintendo all night long, periodically checking on me to make sure I was ok. My husband spent his time going back and forth between me and Nintendo, too.
At 5:06AM on Thanksgiving morning, Katherine came into the world. Her big sister and brothers were right there to welcome her into the family. Her oldest brother even cut the umbilical cord!
Aside from the relaxing, natural environment that home birth provides, I was so grateful that I never had to leave my kids to give birth. It was always "just another day", if you will. My kids are now 31, 29, 28 and 22. They've always been close to each other. I know that the home birth experience contributed a great deal to their relationships with one another.
Needless to say, we didn't go to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner. But the midwives made them a big breakfast, and they were thankful for their beautiful baby sister! -
After a lot of research (and after seeing The Business of Being Born), I knew I wanted to have a natural, out-of-hospital birth experience if my (and the baby's health would allow). My first appointment during pregnancy was at my regular OB/GYN office and it was such a terrible experience I immediately researched other options.
I found a birth center that focuses on women's health care and took a tour. They were so welcoming, informative and considerate that I knew I wanted them to be my providers. I had a rotating team of five midwives look after me throughout my pregnancy. Their pre-labor classes were great in preparing my husband and I for what was to come, and they were very considerate of giving me the birth experience that I wanted.
I decided I wanted a natural birth without drugs of any kind- and, boy, did I hear horror stories from, like, every woman I came into contact with who wanted to know my "plan". I didn't feel the need to tell people how I planned to give birth, but when you are pregnant people's boundaries are a bit blurry and they like to touch you an ask you things that would make your grandmother blush.
I didn't let this influence my decision. I know that I was physically and mentally prepared for giving birth naturally. I told myself that giving birth is really only a short period of time in the grand scheme of things and I could weather that storm, so to speak!
This is not to say that the whole experience was a walk in the park. It was very intense and difficult, and for about four hours was very unpleasant! I had my husband, a midwife, a nurse, and Arrested Development on DVD to pass the time (I figured it couldn't POSSIBLY take longer than one season of the show... it didn't! And the midwife and the nurse appreciated the entertainment. Some people may want peaceful candles and music, but I just needed the Bluth family.)
Every part of the experience that was important to me was honored. I wanted to deliver without drugs. I could move around as I pleased and be in labor and give birth in whatever position I felt comfortable in. I was able to eat and drink to keep my energy up. Most importantly, I wanted to bond and hold my baby immediately- things like cutting the cord, weighing, blood-taking, bathing could wait until we were ready! The midwife took good care of us and we were released to go home about four hours later.
Overall, it was a great experience. I want to let all the ladies know that, no matter how you choose to give birth, you are capable of amazing things and are stronger than you think. You always hear parents saying that they will do anything for their children; that they would gladly experience any amount of pain or discomfort so that their children would not have to. This thought got me through the trying times during labor... if I would do this for my kid once she is born, what is different about now? I wanted birth to be unmedicated and less-stressful for her as well. -
Hey fellow Kind Lifers,
I had a home birth with a midwife. No drugs, no nothin'! Just me, my body, my baby, and my man to coax that baby out. I was a week late, so that was a little irritating, but I had expected it because first time moms are usually a week late (they don't seem to tell you that at the hospital, they just bust out the 'hurry-up' drugs!) I would not do it any other way. It was so peaceful, relaxing, and I felt totally at home because, well...I was home! I did it in a birthing pool that the midwife brought. She was wonderful, and even cleaned everything up and took care of all the technical stuff like helping me shower and making me a snack to refuel with. It was also much less expensive than a hospital birth. She really took her time with us all through the prenatal checkups, supporting my husband and I emotionally in addition to the physical checkups. I was not afraid because I know that I am a strong woman, and because my body was designed to grow and birth my son. I was soothed and encouraged the whole time, which is so important, because I almost gave up and went to the hospital to get an epidural after 30 hours of pre-labor and only a 3 cm dilation. But we did some massages, so homeopatics, and one other natural facilitator (it's a secret), and within an hour I was at 7 centimeters. Soon after I gave birth to a beautiful boy who was a 9/10 on the apgar score and has been healthy as a horse ever since. My word of wisdom is...don't ever let ANYONE discourage you from a home birth just because they do not understand it. It is safe, healthy, and peaceful. If you want to do it, DO IT, you will not regret it! <3 Hal -
I had planned a med-free hospital birth, however after 10 hours of labor I developed an extremely high fever and an infection.
I agreed to antibiotics but as soon as they hooked up my IV my sons heart stopped.
The next thing I knew I was getting a c-section.
I didn't get the birth I wanted, but I got the baby I wanted!
My point is, plan for your perfect scenario, but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen that way.
I'm grateful for my perfect, happy, healthy baby boy, and for bringing another vegan into the world, no matter how it happened! -
Hi! I know you are looking for natural birth stories here, but please don't exclude c-sections either. Some are necessary and it is possible to remain as kind as possible when one is necessary - like mine. I wanted to have a natural birth experience and did everything I could to make that happen. I hired a midwife and a doula and they were wonderful and even though I ended with a c-section, they were with me the entire time. I also included my mom in the room mostly because she wanted to observe and I like having her around. Other than that, my birth team was my husband, my doula, my midwife, and the L&D nurses. Up to the point of having the c-section, I labored med free. Once my baby boy was born, we did a lot of skin-to-skin contact and a lot of suckling/nursing. It is possible to have a successfull breastfeeding relationship with a c-section - my son is still nursing at 16 months. Even though my son's birth was medical, it is still the single most transcendant thing to ever happen to me because I was fully in the moment and not full of synthetic hormones. My advice to new moms is trust your instincts. As long as you are doing the best you can for your new baby, you are doing the right thing. Things will start out hard, but find a good lactation consultant. Allow friends and family to clean and cook. There is nothing wrong with napping as much as possible.
-
My son was born with the umbilical cord wrapped twice around his neck. If the doctor hadn't recognized this when his heart rate dropped on the monitor and immediately intervened with forceps, my son may have had brain damage, or been stillborn. I'm sure this is rare, but something to think about and plan for.
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Thank you for asking this! With my son's first birthday just a few weeks away, I've been thinking a lot about my natural birth experience. I know I am very fortunate to be able to say this, but my son's birth was definitely the best day of my life. I've never been more proud of myself, more in wonder of the human body, more in touch with deep reserves of strength I never knew I had, more in union with my husband and God and the universe, and more ecstatically joyful. As a yogi, I felt like I spent 9 months in preparation for that day. Stretching by body and meditating, meditating, meditating. Sometime in my second trimester, my husband and I went to a workshop on Yoga for Labor and Delivery that really helped set my framework of what I wanted my birth to be like. I took away two very important things from that: first, you may experience pain but you do not have to suffer, because suffering is a mental response you can choose or not. And second, the idea of a calm, quiet, dark, birth. (The complete opposite of how birth is portrayed in pop culture.)
I can honestly say that I was not afraid of labor and birth. I'm not even sure why I wasn't or how I was so brave since it would make sense to be scared! Although I was in a hospital, I was surrounded by my doula, midwife, my husband and mother, all of whom I trusted fully and completely. (I wanted as few people as possible. Midwife for medical knowledge, doula for support and encouragement for me and my husband, my husband for supporting me, and my mother because she is so calm under pressure. And everything's ok when your mom's there, right?) Most importantly I had complete faith in myself. I had been surrounding myself with positive birth stories (by watching Business of Being Born and reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth) and just focused entirely on a good outcome and made it manifest. Now, does that mean I never once asked for drugs or felt no pain? Uh, no. It was still incredibly hard work. Also, there was one point where fear crept in and turned me cold. Right when the baby was crowning and had to push that final big push for the head. But I realized fear was holding me back so I said, ok, I gotta just check out of this for a second, do what I gotta do, then come back. And it worked.
It still brings tears to my eyes to remember seeing my son for the first time, holding him close, and watching him come to my breast. My first words to him were, "I waited my whole life for you!" :)
My advise to moms-to-be is to surround yourself with a good support team who you know is totally on the same page, not because you've made an assumption but because you've talked about all possible outcomes. (What if my water breaks and I don't go into labor" is a HUGE discussion to have. "What if I scream for drugs? How will you know if I really need them" is another.) Also, prepare. Don't be afraid to think about birth and just hope the best will come when it does. Plan and prepare your body and mind. Lastly, be joyful. Be joyful no matter what type of birth you have that you and your baby are together and healthy.
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